


NCT in the House

by Kiri_Sama



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, And Taeyong accepted a lot of members, Chatting & Messaging, Fluff, Group chat, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Kun is a tired mom, Lee Taeyong is Bad at Feelings, Light Angst, M/M, Mark and Hyuck are disaster gays, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Renjun is the tea spiller, Sexuality Crisis, Texting, basically it’s a performance club, but Mark and Hyuck are on another level, disaster bisexuals, error 404 no heterosexuals found, it’s chaos incarnate, jaehyun is trying his best, scratch that they are all disaster gays, this is just a fun chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 48,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23638135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiri_Sama/pseuds/Kiri_Sama
Summary: Ten: what happened this timeYongie: I finally decided which new members are going to be in NCT!!Taeil: I’m surprised you decided so soonTaeil: We had like 14 applications you were deciding between, right? And they all seemed pretty promisingYongie: Which is whyDoyoung: Oh fuck please tell me you didn’tMork: didn’t whatYongie: I accepted all of them!!Kun:Kun: You know when you said you wanted a large group this isn’t what I had in mindYongie: Seven of the members are Chinese!Kun: This is the best thing to ever happen to the groupOr: The new performance club called NCT just got to 21 members, and Taeyong thought it was a good idea to make a group chat.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 222
Kudos: 651





	1. Giving Ten Admin Rights Was Taeyong’s Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> For reference:
> 
> This is a high school AU, so the characters’ ages are a lot closer together than they actually are. If you’re curious, their years are the following.
> 
> Seniors: Taeil, Johnny, Taeyong, Yuta, and Kun  
> Juniors: Doyoung, Ten, Jaehyun, Winwin, Jungwoo, and Lucas  
> Sophomores: Jaemin, Haechan, Jeno, Renjun, Hendery, Xiaojun, and Mark  
> Freshmen: YangYang, Chenle, Jisung
> 
> The whole plot (what plot) is that NCT was a club created the year before and performed The 7th Sense and Without You for the school. A lot of new members wanted to join next year and this is the chaos that ensues.

#### The OG Squad

_Yongie, Mork, and five others are online._

Yongie: Guys!

Mork: what

Jae: What’s up

Ten: what happened this time

Yongie: I finally decided which new members are going to be in NCT!!

Taeil: I’m surprised you decided so soon

Taeil: We had like 14 applications you were deciding between, right? And they all seemed pretty promising

Yongie: Which is why

Doyoung: Oh fuck please tell me you didn’t

Mork: didn’t what

Yongie: I accepted all of them!!

Kun:

Kun: You know when you said you wanted a large group this isn’t what I had in mind

Yongie: Seven of the members are Chinese!

Kun: This is the best thing to have ever happened to the group

Ten: am I still the token Thai person?

Yongie: Yes?

Ten: Fuck I still can’t properly make fun of you all in my native language

Doyoung: I think we should be thankful that’s the case

Taeil: Taeyong

Taeil: I must ask

Taeil: I know you’re a great leader and all

Taeil: But how are we supposed to manage a group with 21 members

Yongie: I was thinking of splitting the group into subunits so it’s like groups within a group

Doyoung: Should we meet the members then? At least get to know them before the first meeting?

Yongie: Yeah! Let me make a group chat

_Lee Taeyong has made a new group chat.  
Lee Taeyong has added Mark Lee, Jung Yoonoh, Kim Dongyoung, and 17 others to a group chat.  
Lee Taeyong has given admin rights to Mark Lee, Jung Yoonoh, Kim Dongyoung, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, Moon Taeil, and Qian Kun.  
Lee Taeyong had renamed the chat name to NCT in the House.  
Lee Taeyong, Mark Lee, and 18 others are online._

Lee Taeyong: Hi everybody! I thought we could make a group chat so it’s easier to communicate!

Kim Dongyoung: This is going to be hell isn’t it

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: How could it not

Moon Taeil: Is that even a question

Qian Kun: I already regret joining this chat

Kim Jungwoo: Hi everybody!!!

Kim Jungwoo: It’s nice to meet you! :D

Na Jaemin: Oh it’s NCT!! We’re starting so soon?

Dong Sicheng: Wow there are a lot of people here

Nakamoto Yuta: The more the merrier I guess!

Mark Lee: I forgot to ask, Taeyong how are we grouping up for this?

Lee Taeyong: Well let’s see

Lee Donghyuck: If we’re in pairs I get put with Mark and that’s the tea sis

Lee Taeyong: I was just going to say we were going to figure it out after our first meeting

Mark Lee: wait

Mark Lee: hyuckie???

Huang Renjun: OH MY GOD IM WHEEZING

Jung Yoonoh: You two know each other?

Lee Donghyuck: Yeah we’re best friends and everything!!

Lee Taeyong: Wait THAT’S Hyuckie?

Lee Donghyuck: I see Mark has told you about me? ;)

#### Mark Lee -> Lee Taeyong

Mark Lee: please don’t say anything

Mark Lee: also why didn’t you tell me Donghyuck was joining NCT???

Lee Taeyong: I’ve never actually seen him before so when he auditioned it didn’t occur to me this was your bestest friend in the world you’ve been constantly pining over for how long now?

Mark Lee: 6 months

Lee Taeyong: And don’t worry. I won’t say anything in the group chat. I’m not that shitty of a cousin

Mark Lee: thanks

Lee Taeyong: SO when are you going to confess to him

Mark Lee: OH FUCK LEAVE ME ALONE

#### Huang Renjun -> Lee Donghyuck

Huang Renjun: AHAHAHAHA IM DYING

Huang Renjun: HE CALLS YOU HYUCKIE?

Lee Donghyuck: Fuck you

Lee Donghyuck: I’ve known him for years alright? He called me that when we were little and it kinda stuck

Huang Renjun: This is precious I love it

Huang Renjun: Also you are whipped as fuck

Huang Renjun: You literally asked to be paired with Mark before they even explained anything

Huang Renjun: I would say to not be so obvious but honestly he has probably figured it out by now

Lee Donghyuck: Renjun

Lee Donghyuck: It’s Mark oblivious Lee

Lee Donghyuck: He’s the type of person to not even realize HE likes somebody else probably

Huang Renjun: Then tell him

Lee Donghyuck: nO

#### NCT in the House

Qian Kun: An important question I must know

Qian Kun: **Who is part of the china line**

Wong Kunhang: **This is going to turn chaotic isn’t it**

Wong Yukhei: **HELLO THERE Mandarin isn’t my strong suit but I’m fluent in Cantonese**

Liu YangYang: **Hi!**

Xiao Dejun: **Why hello!**

Huang Renjun: **Oh cool a lot of people here are Chinese**

Huang Renjun: **We can roast others without them even knowing it**

Dong Sicheng: **As much as I hate to say it I might take you up on that offer**

Zhong Chenle: **Mwahahaha China line unite**

Liu YangYang: **I barely even know you all but this is going to be fun**

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: **I am so happy I understand as much Mandarin as I do**

Qian Kun: **Oh damn I forgot about that**

Lee Jeno: I’m sure you all are having a great time, but can we please speak Korean?

Nakamoto Yuta: I am having a headache trying to process what I’m looking at

Nakamoto Yuta: If ya’ll couldn’t tell from my name Korean already isn’t my first language

John Suh: Welcome to the club pal

Kim Dongyoung: Keep that Chinese shit in a separate group chat please

Jung Yoonoh: I’m with Dongyoung and he looks like he’s about to pop a blood vessel

Qian Kun: HOW DARE YOU CALL CHINESE SHIT

Lee Taeyong: Kun

Qian Kun: Fine but I’m watching you rabbit

Na Jaemin: Lmao rabbit?

Kim Dongyoung: Don’t ask

Lee Taeyong: Anyways, welcome to NCT everybody! We didn’t think we would have been so big this year, but you all were talented enough to easily make the cut! As a performance club, we were hoping to branch out and do different genres this year! We’ll be figuring out how we’re splitting our group into subgroups to make things more manageable at our first club meeting after school tomorrow, but if you have any questions feel free to ask me!

Lee Taeyong: Right now, why don’t we, the current members, introduce ourselves. Say your grade, what you did in NCT’s performances last year, and one fact about yourself!

Lee Taeyong: I’m Taeyong! I’m a senior and the leader of NCT! I was one of the main rappers in The 7th Sense and would like to think I’m a pretty good dancer! For a fact, my favorite color is pink! I’m thinking of dying my hair that color soon

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: Taeyong you’re a fucking good dancer quit being so humble

_Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul has changed Lee Taeyong’s username to Humble Mom.  
Chittapon Leechaiyapornkul has removed admin rights from Humble Mom, Kim Dongyoung, Jung Yoonoh, Moon Taeil, and Qian Kun._

Humble Mom: huh

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: There is no escaping this hell

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: Btw I’m Chittaphon, you can call me Ten and I’m a junior. Dancing is my passion, I rapped in the 7th sense, though I also like to sing. Hmmmm fruit scares me so for future reference keep that shit away from me

Kim Dongyoung: Maybe that’s why you’re so short

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: Fucking fight me

_Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul has changed his username to Ten out of 10._

Ten out of 10: Who’s next

Jung Yoonoh: I’ll go

Jung Yoonoh: Hi I’m Yoonoh but my stage name is Jaehyun. I sang in The 7th Sense and Without You. Also I’m a junior. I lived in America for four years, so I’m fluent in English!

Mark Lee: I liVED in aMeRiCa FOr fOuR yEaRs tHaT’S wHY IM HeRE MAn

Jung Yoonoh:

Jung Yoonoh: You’re never letting that go are you?

John Suh: How could we?

John Suh: Jaehyun you’re forever a foreign swagger

John Suh: It’s iconic

Jung Yoonoh: You know I almost regret telling you that applications for NCT were open

John Suh: rude

Jung Yoonoh: You’re a pretty good friend tho so I wouldn’t have it any other way

Zhong Chenle: Awww

Liu YangYang: I barely know them but they’re honestly friendship goals

_Ten out of 10 has changed Jung Yoonoh’s username to Lived in America for Four Years._

Lived in America for Four Years:

Lee Donghyuck: Could we have context on what the joke even is

Mark Lee: I’ll tell you later it’s a story

Qian Kun: I don’t even know what the fuck you are talking about

Qian Kun: And technically I’m a “foreign swagger”

Lived in America for Four Years: Dongyoung why don’t you go next

Kim Dongyoung: Whatever

Kim Dongyoung: Most of you all probably know me by my stage name Doyoung. I’m also a junior and a vocalist in 7th sense and Without You.

Kim Dongyoung: I like sleep. I don’t understand how some of you heathens survive with only a few hours of sleep a night. You know who you are and I am concerned for your health

_Ten out of 10 has changed Kim Dongyoung’s name to Nagging but concerned mom._

Nagging but concerned mom: You know I’m not even going to object

Ten out of 10: It’s true

Ten out of 10: You, Taeyong, and Kun are like the parents of the group

Qian Kun: So I’m like the dad?

Humble Mom: eh

Nagging but concerned mom: well

Ten out of 10: You’re the tired single mom that does his best to make his kids happy

Qian Kun: Wtf no I do not accept being mom

Qian Kun: We already have two moms

_Ten our of 10 has changed Qian Kun’s name to China Mother._

China Mother:

China Mother: Hi children my name is Kun, I’m a senior, I sang in Without You, and I’m not getting paid enough for this shit

Lee Taeyong: None of us are getting paid at all

John Suh: And I’m older than you?

China Mother: shut

Wong Yukhei: Come on mom you can’t take this shit from anybody!!!

Wong Yukhei: You gotta keep fighting! >:D

China Mother: Thanks Yukhei you are appreciated

Moon Taeil: I can introduce myself I guess

Moon Taeil: Hi I’m also a senior and sung in Without You.

Moon Taeil: A fact

Moon Taeil: Um

Moon Taeil: I’m the oldest?

_Ten out of 10 has changed Moon Taeil’s name to Grandpa Taeil._

Grandpa Taeil: Not what I meant but okay

Mark Lee: No I can see it

Mark Lee: You’re not a mom like Taeyong or Doyoung or even Kun

Mark Lee: But you’re still supportive like a grandpa

Grandpa: Is the entire squad from last year a ton of parents then?

Ten out of 10: Bitch I exist

Ten out of 10: I’m like the cool gay uncle that doesn’t give a shit

Lived in America for Four Years: Plus Mark is a child

Mark Lee: no I’m not

Grandpa Taeil: Child my ass that kid said long ass ride in 7th Sense

_Ten out of 10 changed Mark Lee’s username to LONG ASS RIDE._

LONG ASS RIDE:

LONG ASS RIDE: welp I’m Mark, I rapped in 7th sense and I’m a sophomore.

LONG ASS RIDE: I’m from Canada (it’s why my name sounds white as fuck.) but I’m currently living with my aunt and uncle here in Korea. Taeyong is my cousin.

Humble Mom: Cousins unite!!

Humble Mom: Love you Mark

LONG ASS RIDE: ahhhh Tae don’t be so embarrassing

Humble Mom: :)

_ Park Jisung is online. _

Park Jisung: Wtf why do I have 50+ notifs

Park Jisung: Also why are there so many members jesus christ 

Ten out of 10: And the fetus finally awakens

Park Jisung: 

_ Park Jisung has left the group chat. _

Zhong Chenle: Add Ji back I didn’t even get to say hi!!

Humble Mom: Ten.

Ten out of 10: Oh come on you said yourself he looked like he was twelve when you met him for club applications

Humble Mom: But still

Humble Mom: Also give me back admin rights please I want to be able to somewhat contain this chaos

Ten out of 10: no

_ Ten out of 10 has added Park Jisung to the group chat. _

_ Ten out of 10 has changed Park Jisung’s name to Not a fetus. _

Not a fetus: Fuck you all

Zhong Chenle: Hi Jisung!!!! 

Not a fetus: Except for you

Lee Donghyuck: Whipped

Huang Renjun: Says you

Lee Donghyuck: Ten could I have admin rights

_ Ten out of 10 has given Lee Donghyuck admin rights. _

Humble Mom: TEN WHAT THE FUCK

_ Lee Donghyuck has changed Huang Renjun’s name to Slaps in the Face Appreciated. _

_ Lee Donghyuck has changed his name to Sunshine Child. _

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: Wow I was expecting something way more creative

Sunshine Child: Shut

Sunshine Child: I know my fellow sophomores and YangYang and Chenle so I’ll start with ya’ll

_ Sunshine Child has changed Lee Jeno’s username to Happy Eyes. _

Happy Eyes: Literally anything else would have been better

_ Sunshine Child has changed Na Jaemin’s username to Nana. _

Nana:

_ Sunshine Child has changed Wong Yukhei’s username to FIGHTING HAEYADWAE. _

_ Sunshine Child has changed Liu YangYang’s username to Yangyang chicken. _

_ Sunshine Child has changed Xiao Jun’s username to HasNoTasteBuds. _

_ Sunshine Child has changed Wong Kunhang’s username to Henry with a D. _

_ Sunshine Child has changed Zhong Chenle’s username to DolphinSCREEEEE . _

DolphinSCREEEEE: I don’t want this to be the only thing I’m known for

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE: Wait a minute

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE: were YOU were the person that made people think a bird was caught in the vent??

China Mother: I-

China Mother: What?

Not a fetus: uM

HasNoTasteBuds: Oh that’s right I don’t think many upperclassmen heard about it

HasNoTasteBuds: Chenle’s laugh was so high that people thought there was a bird

China Mother: Why did they think it was in the vent???

DolphinSCREEEEE: Well you see

DolphinSCREEEEE: I was stuck

Nana: He tried to skip math class and was screaming for help when he didn’t know how to get out of the vents

DolphinSCREEEEE: DAMNIT JAEMIN

Nana: I mean

Nana: It worked though

Nana: Our entire class got super derailed it was hilarious

China Mother: I’ve been deemed your mother for five minutes and I already am having a stroke

Sunshine Child: As we have said before

Sunshine Child: Welcome to hell

Sunshine Child: Aight I barely know the rest of you so I’m giving you all the first thing I think of

Dong Sicheng: This is going to be fucking worse isn’t it

Nagging but concerned mom: Yep

_ Sunshine Child has changed John Suh’s username to HERE’S JOHNNY. _

_ Sunshine Child has changed Dong Sicheng’s username to NoodleArms. _

_ Sunshine Child has changed Kim Jungwoo’s username to JungUWU. _

_ Sunshine Child has changed Nakamoto Yuta’s username to NicoNicoNi~. _

NicoNicoNi~: what the fuck is this

Ten out of 10: no.

_ Ten out of 10 has changed NicoNicoNi~’s username to Animeisreal. _

Animeisreal: oh thank god

NoodleArms: I’ve never even met you but I feel so called out right now

LONG ASS RIDE: that’s Hyuck for you

Sunshine Child: Aw no more Hyuckie??

LONG ASS RIDE: oh well I mean

LONG ASS RIDE: if your want to me to call you that  


Sunshine Child: No it’s fine Hyuck is still a great nickname!

LONG ASS RIDE: Okay Hyuckie!

Sunshine Child:

_ Sunshine Child is offline. _

LONG ASS RIDE:

LONG ASS RIDE: did I do something wrong

Ten out of 10:

####  The Hurrigays

_ Dancing Gay, Rabbit Gay, and four others are online. _

_ Dancing Gay has added Lee Donghyuck to the chat. _

Dancing Gay: Welcome to the Hurrigays you’ll fit right in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are the group chat names!
> 
> Taeyong: Humble Mom  
> Ten: Ten out of 10  
> Jaehyun: Lived in America for Four Years  
> Doyoung: Nagging but concerned mom  
> Kun: China Mother  
> Taeil: Grandpa Taeil  
> Mark: LONG ASS RIDE  
> Jisung: Not a fetus  
> Renjun: Slaps in the Face Appreciated  
> Haechan: Sunshine Child  
> Jeno: Happy Eyes  
> Jaemin: Nana  
> Lucas: FIGHTING HAEYADWAE  
> Yangyang: Yangyang chicken  
> Hendery: Henry with a D  
> Xiaojun: HasNoTasteBuds  
> Chenle: DolphinSCREEEEE  
> Johnny: HERE’S JOHNNY  
> Winwin: NoodleArms  
> Jungwoo: JungUWU  
> Yuta: Animeisreal


	2. Pining, Straight Crushes, and Microwave Fires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunshine Gay: So wait does he like Jaehyun or Johnny?
> 
> Smiley Gay: Oh it’s totally Johnny
> 
> Smiley Gay: I think he’s into the height difference
> 
> Dancing Gay: OH MY GOD CAN WE LEAVE MY LOVE LIFE OUT OF THIS CHAT FOR 5 SECONDS
> 
> Sunshine Gay: And I thought Ten was the most confident gay out of all of us
> 
> UwU Gay: exCUSE me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this fic has only been out for like 24 hours, but all the comments and kudos really made my day!! I’m happy ya’ll think this is funny!  
> On the side note, did you guys hear the news about NCT Dream? They’re having a comeback in two weeks AND they’ll be promoting after that OT7 and like NCT U does? Crazy stuff. I’m curious about the groups they’ll be putting the other Dreamies in. Maybe we’ll get a new debut this year. (Probably after the chaos of COVID-19 has lifted.) I think WayV is getting a comeback soon as well but I don’t have any confirmation on that. (Did you see the members’ new hair colors tho! They look so good!!) Either way, I’m excited!!!  
> Anyways, back to this fic. For updates, I’m aiming from daily to once a week. I don’t know how consistent I am going to be, and above all else, I want to enjoy writing this with a level of quality. So right now, a week should be the longest I go without updating. I’ll let you all know if that changes!  
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

#### Hurrigays

9:07 p.m.  
_Dancing Gay, Rabbit Gay, and 4 others are online.  
Dancing Gay has added Lee Donghyuck to the chat._

Dancing Gay: Welcome to the Hurrigays you’ll fit right in

_Lee Donghyuck is online._

Lee Donghyuck: Am I really that bad

Graceful Gay: You are

Graceful Gay: You’re somehow worse than Ten pining for two years

Dancing Gay: HEY

Dancing Gay: Leave me alone and let me pine in peace

Rabbit Gay: Also rename yourself you’re breaking the aesthetic

_Lee Donghyuck has changed his username to Sunshine Gay._

Sunshine Gay: Ten? Pining for two years? Legit couldn’t tell

Smiley Gay: You should see him in this chat whenever Johnny spends time with Jaehyun it’s the funniest shit

Sunshine Gay: So wait does he like Jaehyun or Johnny?

Smiley Gay: Oh it’s totally Johnny

Smiley Gay: I think he’s into the height difference

Dancing Gay: OH MY GOD CAN WE LEAVE MY LOVE LIFE OUT OF THIS CHAT FOR 5 SECONDS

Sunshine Gay: And I thought Ten was the most confident gay out of all of us

UwU Gay: exCUSE me

UwU Gay: That’s my title

Sunshine Gay: You’re Jungwoo right?

Sunshine Gay: Who is who anyway? I still don’t know most of the upperclassmen well

Dancing Gay: I’m Ten obviously

UwU Gay: Jungwoo

Rabbit Gay: Dongyoung

Graceful Gay: Sicheng

Smiley Gay: Yuta! :D

Lowkey Gay: Kun.

Sunshine Gay: Cool!

Rabbit Gay: So Mark

Sunshine Gay: nO

Smiley Gay: Aw come on it’s obvious you have the hots for him!

Sunshine Gay: Leave me alone 

Smiley Gay: It’s the hurrigay groupchat, we won’t tell anybody what you say we promise

Smiley Gay: Right Ten?

Dancing Gay: Whatever said in this chat stays in this chat

Sunshine Gay: Fine

Sunshine Gay: I really like Mark. A lot. I made friends with him when he moved to Korea a couple years ago but I only started liking him about 6 months ago. He’s just so sweet and funny and nerdy and he’s also so talented? His dancing and rapping in the 7th Sense? His guitar playing? Not to mention it’s so easy to make him laugh and smile.

UwU Gay: This is so wholesome awww

Graceful Gay: You should tell him

Sunshine Gay: I don’t even know if he likes guys! 

Sunshine Gay: Like I know he’s supportive and everything. He and Taeyong helped out at a pride event last year. But he never explicitly came out or anything and I know for a fact he told me Taeyong was straight

Smiley Gay: WAIT TAEYONG IS STRAIGHT??

Graceful Gay: No way

Dancing Gay: Lmao yeah

Dancing Gay: It caught me off guard the first time he told me, especially with how panicky he is around other people when they get closer to him

Dancing Gay: But honestly he’s just really shy and he told me he gets nervous more easily

UwU Gay: Makes sense

UwU Gay: I once I saw Jaehyun go up to him and tell him he looked cute and he looked like he was ready to melt

UwU Gay: It was so wholesome

Rabbit Gay: Back to the main topic

Rabbit Gay: You know, Donghyuck, if you told Mark how you feel, I’m sure he’d be accepting of you

Rabbit Gay: Straight or not

Sunshine Gay: I know, but if he’s straight or just doesn’t feel the same way, I don’t want our relationship to get weird

Sunshine Gay: I know you’re going to say it’s up to me to make it weird and awkward but I’m scared I’ll do that and I don’t want to risk our friendship

Smiley Gay: Aw it’s ok that’s understandable

Graceful Gay: Feelings are hard

Rabbit Gay: No matter what we’ll be here for you

UwU Gay: Gays unite!!

Sunshine Gay: Thanks guys

Lowkey Gay: Sorry I haven’t been very responsive in the group chat, but keeping track of two chats at the same time is difficult

Lowkey Gay: Especially since the China line is speaking in Mandarin

Lowkey Gay: You have my support tho!!

Sunshine Gay: You know what I like this chat

Sunshine Gay: I’m surprised there aren’t more people on it tho

Lowkey Gay: Since the upperclassmen aren’t very familiar with the underclassmen yet it’s just juniors and seniors right now

Sunshine Gay: What about the other upperclassmen in NCT? You all seem kinda close

Lowkey Gay: Oh they’re on the disaster bi group chat

Sunshine Gay: And suddenly everything makes sense

#### Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s

9:09 p.m.  
_Chill Bi, Tall Bi, and 2 others are online.  
Chill Bi has added Mark Lee to the chat._

Mark Lee: What is this

Chill Bi: Hey Mark it’s Yoonoh

Screaming Bi: Mark!! What’s up??

Mark Lee: Yukhei? Is that you?

Tall Bi: I don’t know if the fact you were able to tell that was Yukhei is either sad or adorable

Tall Bi: Also I’m Johnny nice to meet you

Actually Pan: It’s both sad and adorable

Actually Pan: Sadorable

Actually Pan:

Actually Pan: Btw I’m Taeil aka the token pan

Tall Bi: Welcome to the chaotic bisexual group chat. Where we either scream about who we’re pining for or get popcorn out watching others pine.

Tall Bi: Currently it’s Yukhei yelling about the hottest person of the week

_Tall Bi has changed Mark Lee’s username to Disaster Bi._

Tall Bi: And I can smell a secret disaster from a mile away

Disaster Bi: 

Disaster Bi: What did Taeyong tell you

Chill Bi: Just to add you to the group chat

Chill Bi: Though I think we all know who you’re pining for

Disaster Bi: Is my crush on Hyuck really that obvious?

Screaming Bi: WAIT YOU LIKE DONGHYUCK???

Tall Bi: Lmaoooo

Actually Pan: I guess it wasn’t that obvious

Disaster Bi: This is my life now

Tall Bi: If it makes you feel any better, Jaehyun had a crush on a straight guy

Chill Bi: JOHNNY

Disaster Bi: I FEEL A LOT BETTER NOW HOLY SHIT

Disaster Bi: I wouldn’t wish that upon anybody

Chill Bi: Believe me it’s the worst

Chill Bi: I’m over him tho and we’re just friends

Tall Bi: Are you though

Chill Bi: Leave me alone I am

Screaming Bi: Mark you should have seen him screaming in the chat whenever he was with Taeyong a few months ago

Screaming Bi: “AHHHHHH HES WEARING A PINK SWEATER AND HE’S SO CUTE I JUST WANT TO HUG HIM WHAT ARE FEELINGS”

Actually Pan: YUKHEI NO

Disaster Bi: WAIT

Disaster Bi: YOU HAD A CRUSH ON MY COUSIN?

Chill Bi: YOU CAN NEVER TELL TAEYONG I SWEAR TO GOD MARK

Chill Bi: NUMBER ONE RULE OF THE BI GROUPCHAT

Chill Bi: WHAT HAPPENS IN THE CHAT STAYS IN THE CHAT

Tall Bi: IM WHEEZING THIS IS GOLD

Chill Bi: FUCK YOU

Tall Bi: No u

Screaming Bi: UNO REVERSE CARD

Chill Bi: YUKHEI YOURE NOT EVEN INVOLVED WITH THIS

Actually Pan: Why did I agree to be a part of this

Disaster Bi: Fuck this shit I’m out I’m going to bed

#### NCT in the House

11:47 a.m.  
_Nagging but concerned mom is online._

Nagging but concerned mom: Can any of you tell me why we had to evacuate the school because of a fire during my lunch period

_LONG ASS RIDE, Not a fetus, and 18 others are online._

Happy Eyes: It was all Mark’s fault

Grandpa Taeil: Are you fucking serious

LONG ASS RIDE: fuck

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: You bet it’s Mark’s fault

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: The guy brought some of that microwave Mac and cheese stuff for lunch

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: But he forgot to put in the water and it caught fire

NoodleArms: Lmao wtf

NoodleArms: How did you even forget to put in the water

NoodleArms: Like

NoodleArms: That’s really hard to do

LONG ASS RIDE: I don’t know

Nana: But the reason why we had to evacuated the school was because Donghyuck tried putting out the fire

Nana: WITH A NAPKIN

Nana: A NAPKIN

Nana: AND THAT NAPKIN CAUGHT FIRE WITH MORE NAPKINS

HasNoTasteBuds: So that’s why I could hear a string of English curse words before we noticed the fire

Ten out of 10: It’s too early for this shit

JungUWU: I didn’t even get to eat lunch I’m hungry :(

Lived in America for Four Years: Same

Henry with a D: So are we getting let back in the school soon? I left my food on the table.

Not a fetus: I hope so

Not a fetus: If Mark and Donghyuck are the reason I don’t eat lunch today I swear

Yangyang chicken: I’m near the firefighters and I don’t think we’ll be back in school for the rest of the day

Yangyang chicken: Something about protocol

Yangyang chicken: We’ll be given our homework online for the day

Animeisreal: Well damn

Animeisreal: What are we supposed to do now then?

Humble Mom: We could go out for lunch? I know there are 21 of us but I could order us all drive through McDonald’s or something if you pay me

Humble Mom: Plus we were supposed to have our club meeting today and I don’t want to reschedule it

Humble Mom: My house isn’t equipped to fit 21 people on such a short notice

Humble Mom: But we could all hang out in the park two blocks away

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE: What if we don’t have money?

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE: I MAYBE accidentally left my backpack in the cafeteria

HERE’S JOHNNY: I can pay for anybody who doesn’t have money

HERE’S JOHNNY: You just have to pay me back later

HERE’s JOHNNY: I know who you are

HERE’S JOHNNY: I’ll hunt you down

JungUWU: That sounds like a nice plan!

Happy Eyes: Yeah it sounds fun

Ten out of 10: Does anybody not want to meet up for this?

Ten out of 10: I’ll take the lack of responses as a no

Animeisreal: Hey they’re letting us go now!

Humble Mom: Alrighty everybody, find me and Johnny and tell us if you want an order from McDonalds. We’ll meet you at the park!

_Humble Mom, HERE’S JOHNNY, and 19 others are offline._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: Taeyong is not straight. He’s just too much of a panicked gay to realize it.  
> What did you think of the disaster gay and bi group chats? Would you like to see more of these smaller group chats? I was thinking of making one for the parents line and definitely the China line.
> 
> Chat names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: Humble Mom  
> Ten: Ten out of 10  
> Jaehyun: Lived in America for Four Years  
> Doyoung: Nagging but concerned mom  
> Kun: China Mother  
> Taeil: Grandpa Taeil  
> Mark: LONG ASS RIDE  
> Jisung: Not a fetus  
> Renjun: Slaps in the Face Appreciated  
> Haechan: Sunshine Child  
> Jeno: Happy Eyes  
> Jaemin: Nana  
> Lucas: FIGHTING HAEYADWAE  
> Yangyang: Yangyang chicken  
> Hendery: Henry with a D  
> Xiaojun: HasNoTasteBuds  
> Chenle: DolphinSCREEEEE  
> Johnny: HERE’S JOHNNY  
> Winwin: NoodleArms  
> Jungwoo: JungUWU  
> Yuta: Animeisreal
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay
> 
> Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi


	3. The China Line Be Exposing the Foriegn Swaggers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tea Spiller: I’m bored
> 
> Tea Spiller: Let’s play another round of Renjun’s tea spilling
> 
> Tea Spiller: Where your host Renjun searches the corners of the internet for that good tea
> 
> Prince Eric: Oh hell yes
> 
> Single Mom: Oh hell no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! I’m back again!
> 
> I have some fun ideas planned for the future. I am considering writing a good chunk of a nearby chapter in prose. Does that sound like a good idea? Let me know what kind of shenanigans you’d like to see! 
> 
> Also I may start responding to comments! I’m not usually the type to comment at all, but I might change my mind since ya’ll seem nice! Whether I respond or not, just know that I really appreciate your nice words and feedback!! It really makes my day.
> 
> For future reference here are the China line usernames.  
> Single Mom: Kun  
> Greater than nine: Ten  
> Taller than a refrigerator: Lucas  
> Wenzhou Man: Winwin  
> MUSICALITY: Xiaojun  
> Xiao Yang: Yangyang  
> Prince Eric: Hendery  
> China Maknae: Chenle  
> Tea Spiller: Renjun

#### NCT in the House

5:07 p.m.  
_Grandpa Taeil, HasNoTasteBuds, and 19 others are online._

Humble Mom: Great meeting today guys!

Humble Mom: I like how we split our subgroups up!

Humble Mom: So just double checking, but the names we decided on were 127, Dream, and WayV, right? And our rotational group will be NCT U?

Nagging but concerned mom: Sounds about right

HERE’S JOHNNY: I’m still a little concerned for Mark, Donghyuck, and Sicheng though

HERE’S JOHNNY: All three of you joined two groups

HERE’S JOHNNY: Are you sure that’s going to work out?

Lived in America for Four Years: And here we have a rare moment of Johnny being a concerned dad

HERE’S JOHNNY: 

Sunshine Child: Yeah!! Since we were already planning on having different group practices on different days of the week, it should be fine

NoodleArms: If it’s too much I’ll let you know and just be in one group

NoodleArms: I like the concepts for both groups but no way in hell will I overwork myself to death

Humble Mom: Health is important!! Make sure to take care of yourselves before anything!

Humble Mom: That includes eating well and getting enough sleep!!

Nagging but concerned mom: Agreed

Lived in America for Four Years: yeah

Yangyang chicken: I love how you emphasize eating well when we literally just ate McDonalds

Humble Mom:

Humble Mom: Let me feel like a good parent okay

#### China Line Domination

5:26 p.m.  
_Single Mom, Prince Eric, and 7 others are online._

Tea Spiller: **I’m bored**

Tea Spiller: **Let’s play another round of Renjun’s tea spilling**

Tea Spiller: **Where your host Renjun searches the corners of the internet for that good tea**

Prince Eric: **Oh hell yes**

Single Mom: **Oh hell no not this again**

Tea Spiller: **Don’t worry none of the stuff will have to do with the china line**

Tea Spiller: **We China line must stick together**

Taller than a refrigerator: **YEAH!!**

Wenzhou Man: **that’s right**

Wenzhou Man: **Only fake china lines would spill tea on fellow members in our own chat**

Xiao Yang: **Debatable**

MUSICALITY: **This feels like a cult**

ChinaMaknae: **You’re right**

ChinaMaknae: **But I’m here for it**

Tea Spiller: **Alright what kind of tea are we looking for today**

Prince Eric: **Hmmmm I want some funny stuff on Yoonoh**

Prince Eric: **Right now we basically know him as the hot one that’s also a dork but I feel like he could have a cringe past**

Tea Spiller: **Alright give me like an hour and I’ll give you the tea**

Greater than nine: **How do you find this stuff anyway?? The one time I tried doing it I found nothing**

Single Mom: **Hell if I know**

Tea Spiller: **A good magician never reveals his tricks**

Tea Spiller: **Besides Ten you are the last person I’d want to know how to find this stuff**

Greater than nine: **fuck**

Wenzhou Man: **and the plot thickens**

ChinaMaknae: **Yangyang could you help me with my math homework**

Xiao Yang: **wtf no**

Xiao Yang: **Don’t you have Jisung to help you**

ChinaMaknae: **Bold of you to assume that he knows what’s going on either**

MUSICALITY: **You two were looking at memes together today weren’t you**

ChinaMaknae: **um**

Single Mom: **chENLE**

ChinaMaknae: **...no?**

Xiao Yang: **Lies I sit right behind you in class**

Single Mom: **What am I going to do with you**

ChinaMaknae: **Geometry is boring!!!**

ChinaMaknae: **And I hate it!!!!**

ChinaMaknae: **So does Jisung!**

Wenzhou Man: **No**

Wenzhou Man: **Your grades are important**

Prince Eric: **Just because your boyfriend hates math doesn’t mean you have an excuse to**

ChinaMaknae: **sdlsddWHAT**

Taller than a refrigerator: **Wait you are dating??**

ChinaMaknae: **HE’S MY BEST FRIEND**

ChinaMaknae: **OF COURSE NOT**

ChinaMaknae: **Fuck off Kunhang**

Prince Eric: **no**

Single Mom: **Be nice you two**

Prince Eric: **Fine**

Single Mom: **Chenle I can help you with your homework**

Single Mom: **But if you’re looking at memes in class again I won’t be doing this in the future**

ChinaMaknae: **Thanks mom :)**

#### NCT in the House

6:31 p.m.  
_HERE’S JOHNNY is online._

HERE’S JOHNNY:

HERE’S JOHNNY: I feel a disturbance

HERE’S JOHNNY: Like something horrible just happened

_Lived in America for Four Years, LONG ASS RIDE, and six others are online._

Lived in America for Four Years: So it wasn’t just me

LONG ASS RIDE: Yeah I feel it too

Humble Mom: What are you talking about?

Lived in America for Four Years: It feels like I’ve been outed about something but I don’t know what

Humble Mom: You mean you don’t know why you feel this way?

Lived in America for Four Years: Yeah

Humble Mom: Maybe it’s just collective anxiety?

Humble Mom: I sometimes have days where I’ve done nothing and I’m just nervous

Lived in America for Four Years: Yeah it could be that

Humble Mom: Well if something comes up you can always talk to one of us

Lived in America for Four Years: Ik don’t worry

Lived in America for Four Years: Nothing has happened though so I’m not going to worry about it right now

HERE’S JOHNNY: Same here

LONG ASS RIDE:^^

#### China Line Domination

6:31 p.m.  
_Tea Spiller is online._

Tea Spiller: **YOU GUYS WON’T BELIEVE WHAT I FOUND**

_Prince Eric, Taller than a refrigerator, and 6 others are online._

Prince Eric: **Oh shit what’s up**

Tea Spiller: **JOHNNY HAS AN OLD YOUTUBE CHANNEL**

Tea Spiller: **WHERE HE, JAEHYUN, AND LATER MARK POSTED VIDEOS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL**

Tea Spiller: **TEN WAS THERE TOO IM DYING**

Greater than nine: **OH FUCK NO**

Greater than nine: **NOT IN THIS GROUPCHAT**

Greater than nine: **YOU CAN CALL OUT THE OTHERS BUT NOT ME**

Tea Spiller: **Fiiiiiine**

Tea Spiller: **Anyway the channel is deleted but I managed to find some of the old videos**

Tea Spiller: **Because the internet NEVER forgets**

Single Mom: **IS THIS WHERE THE FOREIGN SWAGGERS MEME SHOWED UP**

Tea Spiller: **YOU BET**

Single Mom: **I’ve known these fuckers for four years and they’ve never told me the context behind that joke ONCE**

Single Mom: **How dearly they will regret it now**

Single Mom: **Send the link to the videos**

Tea Spiller: [link attached]

Single Mom: **Damn I wish my English was better**

Single Mom: **Translate the most iconic quotes for this chat**

Taller than a refrigerator: **“KEVIN WILL YOU COME TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY”**

Taller than a refrigerator: **“I JUST WANT SOME MILK”**

ChinaMaknae: **bE tHeRE oR bE SQuArE**

MUSICALITY: **But Chenle**

MUSICALITY: **Nobody wants to be a square**

Prince Eric: **TEN YOUR HAIR**

Greater than nine: **shUT**

Greater than nine: **WHAT DID KUN SAY**

Prince Eric: **Fine**

Xiao Yang: **I LIVED IN AMERICA FOR YOUR YEARS**

Xiao Yang: **THAT’S WHY IM HERE MAN**

Xiao Yang: **I UNDERSTAND NOW**

Wenzhou Man: **Damn this is a fucking gold mine**

Single Mom: **Ten**

Greater than nine: **What**

Single Mom: **Give me admin rights to the main group chat**

Greater than nine: **aight**

#### NCT in the House

6:52 p.m.  
_Ten out of 10, Humble Mom, and 19 others are online.  
Ten out of 10 has given China Mother admin rights._

Humble Mom: What

Humble Mom: And you STILL won’t give them to me??

Ten out of 10: Oh no Kun has a purpose in mind

_China Mother has changed Lived in America for Four Year’s username to Just Wants Some Milk._

Just Wants Some Milk: 

Just Wants Some Milk: Wait

Just Wants Some Milk: JOHNNY I THOUGHT YOU DELETED THOSE VIDEOS

HERE’S JOHNNY: I did though!! I don’t understand!

Just Wants Some Milk: TEN DID YOU TELL THEM

Ten out of 10: I have just as much shit to hide there as you

Ten out of 10: A certain somebody managed to find it on his own

Ten out of 10: And he showed it to a lot of people

_China Mother has changed HERE’S JOHNNY’S username to Jojo McDodd._

Nagging but concerned mom: Isn’t that the guy from Horton hears a who

Jojo McDodd: Can I have my old name back

Jojo McDodd: I promise I didn’t look that bad in middle school I swear

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: Debatable

_China Mother has changed LONG ASS RIDE’s username to Don’t be a square._

Don’t be a square: You know what I’m not even mad

_China Mother has changed Ten out of 10’s username to CringePastIncorporated._

CringePastIncorporated:

_CringePastIncorporated has removed admin rights from China Mother.  
CringePastIncorporated has changed his username to ThaiCon._

ThaiCon: Leave me be

JungUWU: So I’m confused

JungUWU: What even happened?

Yangyang chicken: Johnny, Jaehyun, Mark, and Ten ran a cringey youtube channel in middle school and it has come back to haunt them

NoodleArms: It’s exactly what you’d expect it to be

NoodleArms: Freestyle rapping, random antics, middle school quality school stuff

Just Wants Some Milk: Wait

Just Wants Some Milk: Kun, Yangyang, Renjun, Sicheng

Just Wants Some Milk: You all know what we’re talking about

Just Wants Some Milk:

Just Wants Some Milk: It was the China line wasn’t it

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE: Yep!!!

Just Wants Some Milk: How

Just Wants Some Milk: I’ve been trying to hide those old videos of myself for years

Single Mom: Our tea spiller refuses to share his secrets

Humble Mom: I remember watching those videos when they came out

Humble Mom: But I didn’t think they were that cringey? I thought they were kind of cute

Humble Mom: If anything was cringey it was Ten and Johnny’s haircuts

Henry with a D: It’s meme worthy as hell though

Just Wants Some Milk: I resent this

Just Wants Some Milk: I hope you are happy

Single Mom: Everybody else take this as a warning

Single Mom: In the future

Single Mom: Mess with the China line and you get the tea spilled 

Sunshine Child: I already have nothing to hide what can you Say

China Mother: Watch your mouth

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: Donghyuck why don’t you tell us who you have a crush on?

Sunshine Child: SHUT

Don’t be a square: Wait Hyuckie you have a crush on somebody?

Sunshine Child: Uh

_Sunshine Child is offline._

Don’t be a square: Hyuck?

Nana: Damnit Renjun

Nana: Too far

Don’t be a square: Is he okay..?

Nagging but concerned mom: Don’t worry he’s fine

Nagging but concerned mom: He’s just too much of a panicked gay

Nagging but concerned mom: Just give him some time

Don’t be a square: Alright...

Not a fetus: Can any of you help me with math homework

Animeisreal: Don’t you have Chenle to help you out

Not a fetus: Bold of you to assume Chenle knows what the fuck he’s doing

DolphinSCREEEEE: Hey I tried helping you!!

Not a fetus: You still don’t understand

Not a fetus: Your homework is only done because Kun helped you

DolphinSCREEEEE: Look geometry just isn’t my strong suit okay

Nagging but concerned mom: sigh

Nagging but concerned mom: I can help you out if you want

Nagging but concerned mom: Start a video call with me

Not a fetus: Thank you

Nagging but concerned mom: You’re welcome

_Not a fetus and Nagging but concerned mom are offline._

Humble Mom: I was thinking

Humble Mom: What if we got together this weekend and just hung out! I want our group to get closer together especially since not many of the underclassmen know us upperclassmen very well. It could be a bonding experience!

Jojo McDodd: That could be fun!

Grandpa Taeil: Lol I know two of the sophomores

Grandpa Taeil: And they’re Mark and Yukhei

Grandpa Taeil: If I have to perform with you I should probably get to know you

Happy Eyes: I’m excited! I’ll make snacks!!

Nana: Same!

Humble Mom: I guess it’s a plan then?

JungUWU: Yeah!! :D

_Na Jaemin has created a groupchat.  
Na Jaemin has added Lee Donghyuck, Xiao Dejun, and 8 others to the group chat.  
Na Jaemin has changed the chat name to UNDERCLASSMEN UNITE (besides mark because he will give the surprise away)._

7:21 p.m.  
_Na Jaemin, Huang Renjun, and 7 others are online._

Na Jaemin: So we’re spicing this party up right?

Liu Yangyang: Oh hell yes

Wong Kunhang: I’m bringing soy sauce and ice cream

Park Jisung: I have the pickles and peanut butter

Xiao Dejun: I’m bringing the Lao Gan Ma

Huang Renjun: I’ll bring my bag of gummy bears for betting with games

Zhong Chenle: And I’m bringing my switch with 8 joycons with Mario kart and smash bros

Wong Yukhei: I can finally use all of those different Oreos I have!!!

Lee Jeno: And I’ll bring a camera to take photos for later!

Na Jaemin: Hyuck, are you in with us

_Lee Donghyuck is online._

Lee Donghyuck: You know I’m all in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are the underclassmen planning? Will Jaehyun actually get back at the China line? Will Chenle ever understand geometry? Some questions can't be answered quite yet.
> 
> Feel free to leave suggestions for future chapters!
> 
> Chat names! (I will always have these three and will later add any others if they are commonly used enough)
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: Humble Mom  
> Ten: ThaiCon  
> Jaehyun: Just Wants Some Milk  
> Doyoung: Nagging but concerned mom  
> Kun: China Mother  
> Taeil: Grandpa Taeil  
> Mark: Don’t be a square  
> Jisung: Not a fetus  
> Renjun: Slaps in the Face Appreciated  
> Haechan: Sunshine Child  
> Jeno: Happy Eyes  
> Jaemin: Nana  
> Lucas: FIGHTING HAEYADWAE  
> Yangyang: Yangyang chicken  
> Hendery: Henry with a D  
> Xiaojun: HasNoTasteBuds  
> Chenle: DolphinSCREEEEE  
> Johnny: Jojo McDodd  
> Winwin: NoodleArms  
> Jungwoo: JungUWU  
> Yuta: Animeisreal
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay
> 
> Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi


	4. Just a Normal Thursday in Highschool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tall Bi: You see
> 
> Tall Bi: Yukhei is into softies and only softies
> 
> Disaster Bi: Really?
> 
> Actually Pan: Yukhei, who are the last five people you’ve had a crush on?
> 
> Screaming Bi: Yeeun, Gahyeon, Jimin, Taemin, and Taeyong.
> 
> Disaster Bi: WAIT YOU ALSO HAD A CRUSH ON MY COUSIN??
> 
> Tall Bi: Oh honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sophomores are idiots but we already knew that.

#### NCT in the House

7:21  
_Anime is real, Nana, and 12 others are online._

Nana: It’s Thursday my dudes

NoodleArms: My Thursday classes are the worst 

NoodleArms: I’m pretty sure the AP physics teacher hates me

Animeisreal: Oh no what happened?

NoodleArms: I just don’t understand

NoodleArms: Like I managed to get the math in chemistry just fine

NoodleArms: But my math in physics keeps being off and I think Mr. Kim is tired of me asking for help

Animeisreal: Do you want me to try helping you if you have time during lunch? I mean physics is not my forte, but I think I understood it well enough last year

NoodleArms: That would be wonderful thank you

Animeisreal: No problem :)

JungUWU: Aww that warms my heart

JungUWU: You two are soft af

NoodleArms: Thank you?

JungUWU: You’re welcome :)

JungUWU: I mean that in the best way possible I swear

Animeisreal: How are everybody else’s classes today?

Happy Eyes: My schedule is actually pretty nice

Happy Eyes: I have all the classes I actually like

Nana: Same

Nana: I have PE last too which is also nice to end off on

Nana: Plus most of the sophomores in this group have gym with me which makes it more fun

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE: Remember that one time we were playing basketball and Mark accidentally got the ball stuck in that area between the hoop and the wall

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE: And then Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin tried getting the ball down hoisting each other up

Happy Eyes: The best part was when Jaemin climbed up on the hoop and ended up getting stuck

Humble Mom:

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: It was funny the teacher was so confused on what to do and was yelling at the janitor to get a ladder

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: Nobody heard what she was saying when she was talking to the janitor alone but it was probably something alone the lines of “I don’t get paid enough for this shit.”

Henry with a D: that’s just Kun’s catchphrase

China Mother: Excuse me

ThaiCon: No

ThaiCon: Don’t even try denying it

China Mother: I wasn’t denying it

China Mother: I just don’t appreciate getting called out like this

Nagging but concerned mom: Okay I bet ya’ll are having a wonderful conversation

Nagging but concerned mom: But the bell rings in like two seconds you better start running if you want to get to class on time

Sunshine Child: Shit

Don’t be a square: SHOOT IM STILL OUTSIDE

Don’t be a square: HYUCK WE NEED TO BOOK IT

_Sunshine Child and Don’t be a square are offline._

Nagging but concerned mom: Sigh

_Nagging but concerned mom, Humble Mom, and 10 others are offline._

#### Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s

9:16  
_Screaming Bi is online._

Screaming Bi: So

_Tall Bi, Chill Bi, and 2 others are online._

Tall Bi: What’s up my guy

Screaming Bi: JUNGWOO

Screaming Bi: THAT’S WHAT’S UP

Actually Pan: Lmao

Actually Pan: I was expecting this eventually

Disaster Bi: Really?

Disaster Bi: Jungwoo?

Disaster Bi: I mean nothing wrong with Jungwoo he’s the sweetest person alive

Disaster Bi: I just wasn’t expecting Yukhei to be into him

Tall Bi: Damn you are out of the loop with this chat I forgot

Tall Bi: You see

Tall Bi: Yukhei is into softies and only softies

Disaster Bi: Really?

Actually Pan: Yukhei, who are the last five people you’ve had a crush on?

Screaming Bi: Yeeun, Gahyeon, Jimin, Taemin, and Taeyong.

Disaster Bi: WAIT YOU ALSO HAD A CRUSH ON MY COUSIN??

Tall Bi: Oh honey

Chill Bi: You need to realize that Taeyong’s real popular among both guys and girls

Screaming Bi: Your cousin’s hot and adorable what can I say

Disaster Bi: I can’t believe I’m hearing this from all of you people

Disaster Bi: Is there anybody else I should know had a crush on Taeyong?

Actually Pan: Probably not

Disaster Bi: You’re lying to me aren’t you

Actually Pan: Probably not

Screaming Bi: ANYWAY Jungwoo

Screaming Bi: THIS MAN

Screaming Bi: HE’S SO CUTE

Screaming Bi: HE’S LIKE IF UWU WAS A PERSON

Screaming Bi: BUT HE ALSO RADIATES CONFIDENT ENERGY??

Tall Bi: I feel that’s the biggest difference between Jungwoo and Taeyong

Tall Bi: One is one hell of a confident gay. The other is the biggest panicked straight I’ve ever met

Chill Bi: Never thought I would have heard the term panicked straight

Disaster Bi: Can we PLEASE stop talking about Taeyong???

Actually Pan: Yukhei you were saying about Jungwoo?

Screaming Bi: HE HAS THE CUTEST SPEAKING VOICE EVER TOO

Screaming Bi: Like he sounds adorable when he talks

Screaming Bi: But I heard him singing in the choir room while I was walking to class

Screaming Bi: AND HE SOUNDS SO PRETTY LIKE AHHHHH

Screaming Bi: Anyways that’s all right now

Disaster Bi: Does this happen a lot?

Tall Bi: Usually he finds a new person to crush on within a week or two

Disaster Bi: I see

Screaming Bi: Before you even think of judging I actually know if I have a change or not and move on

Screaming Bi: You see I don’t endlessly pine for how long?

Disaster Bi: 

Disaster Bi: 6 months

Screaming Bi: Bruh you should just ask him out already

Disaster Bi: oH HEY I THINK THAT’S THE BELL

Disaster Bi: I SHOULD BE IN CLASS NOW

_Disaster Bi is offline._

Tall Bi: Curse school bells

Tall Bi: Taeil and Jae I’lll see you at lunch

Tall Bi, Actually Pan, and 2 others are offline.

#### Lee Taeyong -> Mark Lee

3:30

Lee Taeyong: Hey I parked in a different spot today it’s over at the south entrance

Lee Taeyong: Let me know if you have trouble finding it

3:40

Lee Taeyong: Yo Mark were are you

Lee Taeyong: You don’t have detention or anything do you?

Lee Taeyong: If you do next time tell me before hand

Lee Taeyong: Waiting here is pretty asinine

3:45

_Missed call from Taeyong.  
Missed call from Taeyong.  
Missed call from Taeyong._

Lee Taeyong: Okay I’m worried

Lee Taeyong: Unless you have a good excuse you’re getting a lecture from me later

Lee Taeyong:

Lee Taeyong: Damn you would usually answer that

#### NCT in the House

3:45  
_Humble Mom is online._

Humble Mom: Does anybody know where Mark is

Jojo McDodd and Nagging but concerned mom are online.

Jojo McDodd: Nope

Nagging but concerned mom: Is he not around?

Humble Mom: No he hasn’t been answering my calls either

Humble Mom: We were supposed to be driving home fifteen minutes ago

Nagging but concerned mom: Oh fuck that’s not okay

Nagging but concerned mom: ALL OF YOU GET ON THE GROUP CHAT NOW

_Not a fetus, DolphinSCREEEEE, and 11 others are online._

Nana: We can explain

Jojo McDodd: Damnit what did you do this time

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: We didn’t do anything I swear

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: Also they’re fine don’t worry

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: They’re just stuck in the school basement

Humble Mom: Are you fucking serious

China Mother: Wait they?

Happy Eyes: Unfortunately yes

Happy Eyes: We were getting out of gym class and door to the staircase downstairs was open

Happy Eyes: So the others wanted to go ghost hunting because you know all the legends of the SM basement. Me, Jaemin, and Renjun didn’t want to risk getting in trouble tho

Happy Eyes: So we tried to get them to not to do it

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: But Mrs. Liu was walking by and they ran inside and closed the door

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: Which turns out to lock both ways

Humble Mom: That doesn’t explain why Mark hasn’t been answering my calls?

Jojo McDodd: I’ve been stuck in the basement before

Jojo McDodd: Trust me when I say there is absolutely no cell service

Jojo McDodd: This building is old as fuck

Humble Mom: Oh god damnit

China Mother: So you’re telling me that Yukhei, Xiaojun, Kunhang, Mark, and Donghyuck are all stuck in the fucking basement.

Slaps in the Face Appreciated: Basically

China Mother: I don’t get paid enough for this shit

Humble Mom: Where are you three right now

Nana: Soccer practice

Humble Mom: No you’re going to be coming with me to go get help

Humble Mom: Soccer can wait

Humble Mom: Be at the front of the school in a few

_Humble Mom, Happy Eyes, and 2 others are offline._

4:12  
_Don’t be a square, Sunshine Child, and 7 others are online._

Humble Mom: What the hell you guys

Humble Mom: Tell me

Humble Mom: Just tell me

Humble Mom: Why you thought it was a good to go in the forbidden basement

Humble Mom: You don’t know what’s in there

Humble Mom: You could have gotten hurt or worse

NoodleArms: Damn he snapped

Humble Mom: I’m pissed alright?

Don’t be a square:

Don’t be a square: Sorry Taeyong

Humble Mom: You should be

Sunshine Child:

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE:

HasNoTasteBuds:

Henry with a D:

Humble Mom: I’m not asking much

Humble Mom: But please don’t do something stupid like that again

Don’t be a square: Will do

#### Huang Renjun -> Lee Donghyuck

Huang Renjun: Deliver

Huang Renjun: I know you found something

Huang Renjun: I can feel it

Lee Donghyuck: You’re right

Lee Donghyuck: Most of the stuff in the basement was just typical storage stuff like furniture and things for events

Lee Donghyuck: But I found some old stuff I hope principal Sooman won’t mind losing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were wondering, the basement is partially based on my own school, except my school as an attic and the service is garbage throughout the entire building.
> 
> Question of the day? How many characters do you think have had a crush on Taeyong at one point?
> 
> Chat names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: Humble Mom  
> Ten: ThaiCon  
> Jaehyun: Just Wants Some Milk  
> Doyoung: Nagging but concerned mom  
> Kun: China Mother  
> Taeil: Grandpa Taeil  
> Mark: Don’t be a square  
> Jisung: Not a fetus  
> Renjun: Slaps in the Face Appreciated  
> Haechan: Sunshine Child  
> Jeno: Happy Eyes  
> Jaemin: Nana  
> Lucas: FIGHTING HAEYADWAE  
> Yangyang: Yangyang chicken  
> Hendery: Henry with a D  
> Xiaojun: HasNoTasteBuds  
> Chenle: DolphinSCREEEEE  
> Johnny: Jojo McDodd  
> Winwin: NoodleArms  
> Jungwoo: JungUWU  
> Yuta: Animeisreal
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay
> 
> Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi


	5. Somebody Spills Tea and It’s Not Renjun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagging but concerned mom: Have any of you seen Ten’s phone?
> 
> Nagging but concerned mom: I’m with him right now and he has no idea where it is
> 
> Nagging but concerned mom: And he won’t shut up about it
> 
> Just Wants Some Milk: Please it’s insufferable
> 
> Just Wants Some Milk: Ten is going to explode
> 
> Nagging but concerned mom: IF ONE OF YOU FUCKERS STOLE MY PHONE YOU’RE DONE
> 
> Nagging but concerned mom: excuse him children that was Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I had a lot of fun this chapter.
> 
> Edit: AHHHHH I forgot to put this in earlier but thank you for 100 kudos??? I wasn’t expecting that at all with this fic but here we are! Thank you all so much, and I hope you continue to enjoy the fic still.

#### NCT in the House

3:45 p.m.  
_Humble Mom, Nagging but concerned mom, and 18 others are online._

Nagging but concerned mom: Have any of you seen Ten’s phone?

Nagging but concerned mom: I’m with him right now and he has no idea where it is

Nagging but concerned mom: And he won’t shut up about it

Just Wants Some Milk: Please it’s insufferable

Just Wants Some Milk: Ten is going to explode

Nagging but concerned mom: IF ONE OF YOU FUCKERS STOLE MY PHONE YOU’RE DONE

Nagging but concerned mom: excuse him children that was Ten

Nagging but concerned mom: But seriously do any of you know where it went

Humble Mom: No idea

Humble Mom: Did he check his backpack?

Nagging but concerned mom: Oh why wouldn’t I do that. OF COURSE I CHECKED MY BACKPACK IM NOT STUPID

Nagging but concerned mom: that was also Ten

ThaiCon: So

Nagging but concerned mom: wait what the fuck

Not a fetus: So it was in his backpack?

Nagging but concerned mom: wtf no

Nagging but concerned mom: W H A T T H E F U C K I S T H I S 

Nagging but concerned mom: That was also Ten

Nagging but concerned mom: Who are you and why do you have Ten’s phone

ThaiCon: I needed it for a little fun I want to do

_ThaiCon has added Name Unknown to the group chat.  
ThaiCon has given Name Unknown admin rights.  
ThaiCon has removed admin rights from Sunshine Child and himself._

ThaiCon: Ten your phone is in the library under the red chair in the corner.

Nagging but concerned mom: SEE YA BITCHES

Nagging but concerned mom: ...that also Ten

Nagging but concerned mom: Who are you?

Name Unknown: That isn’t important

Name Unknown: I’m here for one thing and one thing only!

Name Unknown: To play a little game with you all

_Name Unknown has changed Humble Mom’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed Nagging username but concerned mom’s name to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed China Mother’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed Grandpa Taeil’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed Just Wants Some Milk’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed ThaiCon’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed Don’t be a square’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed Animeisreal’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed NoodleArms’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed Jojo McDodd’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed JungUWU’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed Sunshine Child’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed Nana’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed Happy Eyes’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed Slaps in the Face Appreciated’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed DolphinSCREEEEE’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed Not a fetus’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed FIGHTING HAEYADWAE’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed HasNoTasteBud’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed Yangyang chicken’s username to nameless.  
Name Unknown has changed Henry with a D’s username to nameless._

nameless: What the fuck is this

nameless: What is the point in all of this

Name Unknown: Relax I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet

_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Constantly posts about his life on tumblr.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Unironically likes the Hunchback of Notre Dame sequel.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Once ate a fly without realizing it.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Rewatched Parks and Recreation 6 times.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Screamed about gay rights when they kissed in that one scene from Yuri on Ice.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Had a crush on Taeyong for like a week.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Had a massive crush on Taeyong and TOTALLY moved on.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Had a massive crush on Taeyong and actually moved on.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Was the one that found Johnny’s old youtube channel.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Wrote bad One Direction fanfiction in 7th grade.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Likes being short because he wants to date somebody with a big height difference.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Has secretly been dating Yuta for a week now but wanted to wait before telling everybody else because he was nervous.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Has cried over fanfiction at three in the morning.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Really likes doing his own makeup but is self conscious about what people will think.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Acts sarcastic and stern but will never actually raise his voice trying to get a point across.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Once made a kid cry while trying to act like a penguin.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Regularly steals doughnuts from the teacher’s lounge.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Has at least six cups of coffee a day.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Pretty obviously needs glasses but won’t get them because he thinks they won’t look good on him.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Once lost his kids in the store.  
Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Has extremely high expectations of himself and needs to remember to give himself room to breathe._

Likes being short because he wants to date somebody with a big height difference: Hey I’m back

Likes being short because he wants to date somebody with a big height difference: Wait

Likes being short because he wants to date somebody with a big height difference: What the fuck

Regularly steals doughnuts from the teacher’s lounge: Wait how do you know about this????

Regularly steals doughnuts from the teacher’s lounge: I thought I did a really good job of hiding it

Had a crush on Taeyong and actually moved on: wtf

Had a crush on Taeyong and actually moved on: lmao this was so long ago

Rewatched Parks and Recreation 6 times: Why are we doing this

Name Unknown: Now you all have to figure out who you are

Name Unknown: Have fun!!

Has cried over fanfiction at three in the morning: …

Pretty obviously needs glasses but won’t get them because he doesn’t think he’ll look good in them: but they won’t look good on me!! It’s true!

Once made a kid cry while trying to act like a penguin: I was trying to make him laugh alright???

Likes being short because he wants to date somebody with a big height difference: You know what I’m not even ashamed

Likes being short because he wants to date somebody with a big height difference: I think we all know I’m Ten

_Name Unknown has changed Likes being short because he wants to date somebody with a big height difference’s username to Shorty._

Shorty: I know I just said I like being short yet I somehow I feel attacked

Constantly posts about his life on tumblr: Welcome to the club pal

Constantly posts about his life on tumblr: That’s what you get for giving me that shitty nickname

Shorty: Wait but Donghyuck gave most of the nicknames

Shorty: Besides the original nct members

Constantly posts about his life on tumblr: Uh

Shorty: Oh wait

Shorty: You’re Jisung aren’t you

Constantly posts about his life on tumblr:

Constantly posts about his life on tumblr: I shouldn’t have said anything

_Name Unknown has changed Constantly posts about his life on tumblr’s username to Pwark Jisung._

Pwark Jisung: Before you say anything, NO I am not giving you my tumblr

Was the one that found Johnny’s old youtube channel: Give me 30 minutes I’ll find it myself

Pwark Jisung: wAIT NO

Wrote bad One Direction fanfiction in 7th grade: Wait a second wHO ARE YOU

Wrote bad One Direction fanfiction in 7th grade: I DELETED THAT CHANNEL YEARS AGO

Was the one that found Johnny’s old youtube channel: internet archive is a bitch mate

Was the one that found Johnny’s old youtube channel: Also hello Johnny

Wrote bad One Direction fanfiction in 7th grade: fuck

_Name Unknown has changed Wrote bad One Direction fanfiction in 7th grade’s username to Oh daDDY._

Oh daDDY: oh fuck you

Shorty: So are we going to tell them the context behind that name

Oh daDDY: TEN THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THIS CHAT

Oh daDDY: but seriously who are you and why did you find my youtube channel

Acts sarcastic and stern but will never actually raise his voice trying to get a point across: It’s Renjun the tea spiller obviously

Acts sarcastic and stern but will never actually raise his voice trying to get a point across: Also hi it’s Kun let’s move on

Was the one that found Johnny’s old youtube channel: WHAT HAPPENED TO CHINA LINE UNITE YOU SNITCH

Acts sarcastic and stern but will never actually raise his voice trying to get a point across: Nobody else was going to say it and I don’t want to be here all day

_Name Unknown has changed Was the one that found Johnny’s old youtube channel to Conspiracy Theories Renjun.  
Name Unknown has changed Acts sarcastic and stern but will never actually raise his voice trying to get a point across to Snitch Mom._

Has at least six cups of coffee a day: I am Jaemin and there is nothing wrong with what I do

Has at least six cups of coffee a day: I need my coffee in order to be able to function

_Name Unknown has changed Has at least six cups of coffee a day’s username to Barely Functioning._

Once lost his kids at the store: Wtf are you talking about you’re going to die from that much caffeine

Once lost his kids at the store: How do you survive without at least seven hours of sleep a night?

Barely Functioning: Oh you’re Dongyoung

Barely Functioning: Lots of coffee

Barely Functioning: What’s the story behind the store?

Once lost his kids at the store: Johnny, Mark, and I were shopping for some birthday gifts for Ten last year and they fucking ran off without me

Once lost his kids at the store: AND TIMED HOW LONG THEY COULD AVOID ME

Oh daDDY: About 8 minutes

Oh daDDY: Dongyoung you said you wanted to go to America to experience what life was like there

Oh daDDY: So I gave you the American experience of losing your children in Target

Once lost his kids at the store: Hhhhhhh

_Name Unknown has changed Once lost his kids at the store’s username to Doyoungie._

Snitch Mom: Anybody else want to say who they are before we have Renjun expose you?

Rewatched Parks and Recreation 6 times: So I’m just going to say I’m Kunhang, yes the only other show I’ve finished is the office, and no I don’t want any of your other recommendations

Rewatched Parks and Recreation 6 times: The one about the fly is Xiaojun btw 

Rewatched Parks and Recreation 6 times: Literally a fly flew on his cheese and Lao Gan Ma (which was already questionable) and he ate it like nothing

Rewatched Parks and Recreation 6 times: Renjun looked like he saw the plague

Rewatched Parks and Recreation 6 times: You Guangdong people are crazy

Once ate a fly without realizing it: Hey I just didn’t taste it alright!!

Once ate a fly without realizing it: And I’m still alive right?

Rewatched Parks and Recreation 6 times: Sure

_Name Unknown changed Rewatched Parks and Recreation 6 time’s username to Disgusted.  
Name Unknown changed Once ate a fly without realizing it’s username to Confused._

Screamed about gay rights when they kissed in that one scene from Yuri on Ice: I think it’s obvious that I’m Yuta

Screamed about gay rights when they kissed in that one scene from Yuri on Ice: But to be fair, every gay had a field day when that episode aired

Shorty: The Hurrigay group chat was busy that day

_Name Unknown changed Screamed about gay rights when they kissed in that one scene from Yuri on Ice to Yaoi on Fire._

Pwark Jisung: The one about doughnuts is Chenle

Pwark Jisung: He’s given me them from there they’re delicious

Regularly steals doughnuts from the teacher’s lounge: JISUNG YOU SOLD ME OUT

Pwark Jisung: Sorry but I have no dignity left after you all leaked the fact I had a tumblr

Conspiracies Theories Renjun: Oh I think I found it!

Pwark Jisung: shUT

_Name Unknown has changed Regularly steals doughnuts from the teacher’s lounge’s username to LeLe._

Once made a kid cry while trying to act like a penguin: Look I wasn’t trying to scare anybody

Confused: No

Confused: Your penguin impression is terrifying

Confused: I don’t know what made you think that was going to cheer up the kid

Once made a kid cry while trying to act like a penguin: I’m just realistic!!

Disgusted: Debatable, Yangyang you looked like you were having a seizure when you fell over

Once made a kid cry while trying to act like a penguin: Fuck you guys let me live in peace

_Name Unknown has changed Once made a kid cry while trying to act like a penguin’s username to Chaotic._

Really likes doing his own makeup but is self conscious about what people will think: Mark needs glasses really badly and just hasn’t been telling Taeyong

Really likes doing his own makeup but is self conscious about what people will think: I have a tally of how many times he’s walked into a wall or asked me to read what’s on the board

Really likes doing his own makeup but is self conscious about what people will think: It’s a lot

Pretty obviously needs glasses but won’t get them because he thinks they won’t look good on him: Hyuckie I didn’t know you liked makeup!!

Pretty obviously needs glasses but won’t get them because he thinks they won’t look good on him: You know I’d never judge you :(

Has extremely high expectations of himself and needs to remember to give himself room to breathe: Donghyuck know that no one here would ever judge you

Has extremely high expectations of himself and needs to remember to give himself room to breathe: Don’t be afraid to be authentic with yourself

Has extremely high expectations of himself and need to remember to give himself room to breathe: Also Mark we’re getting you glasses

Really likes doing his own makeup but is self conscious about what people will think: Thank you guys

Really likes doing his own makeup but is self conscious about what people will think: Also Taeyong is that you…?

Has extremely high expectations of himself and needs to remember to give himself room to breathe: Surprise?

Doyoungie: And I’m going to be checking in on you a lot more

Doyoungie: Just remember that you’ve worked really hard and that’s paid off in NCT

Doyoungie: Because you’re really good at what you do

Doyoungie: Remember that you can always talk to any of us if you need it

Has extremely high expectations of himself and needs to remember to give himself room to breathe: 

Has extremely high expectations of himself and needs to remember to give himself room to breathe: Alright

_Name Unknown has changed Really likes doing his own makeup but is self conscious about what people will think’s username to Hyuckie.  
Name Unknown has changed Pretty obviously needs glasses but won’t get them because he thinks they won’t look good on him’s username to Canada Man.  
Name Unknown has changed Has extremely high expectations of himself needs to remember to give himself room to breathe’s username to Cinnamon Roll Leader._

Hyuckie: Alright some of you have been really quiet it’s time to come forward

Hyuckie: They’re only five of you left you can’t hide forever

Snitch Mom: Whichever one of you fuckers actually likes Hunchback of Notre Dame 2 has shit taste

Snitch Mom: I don’t care what you say

Snitch Mom: That movie is actual garbage

Barely Functioning: I’m more interested in who is dating Yuta

Shorty: Okay the fact Yuta hasn’t told the Hurrigays that he was dating somebody is super sus and I’m betrayed

Yaoi on Fire: He wanted it secret for a little bit because he wanted to make sure that this was what he wanted

Has secretly been dating Yuta for a week now but wanted to wait before telling everybody else because he was nervous: And Yuta hasn’t been a dick and told anybody either

Has secretly been dating Yuta for a week now but wanted to wait before telling everybody else because he was nervous: Look I haven’t dated anybody before I didn’t want everybody freaking out only for me to realize it wasn’t what I wanted

Has secretly been dating Yuta for a week now but wanted to wait before telling everybody else because he was nervous: Honestly I’m cool with you all knowing now though I’m Sicheng

_Name Unknown has changed Has secretly been dating Yuta for a week now but wanted to wait before telling everybody else because he was nervous’s username to Wholesome Boyfriend._

Cinnamon Roll Leader: CONGRATS!!!!

Yaoi on Fire: :D

Wholesome Boyfriend: :)

Snitch Mom: Okay real talk here though

Snitch Mom: Which of you likes Hunchback 2

Oh daDDY: Who is even left

Doyoungie: Hm let me check

Doyoungie: Jungwoo, Yukhei, Taeil, Jaehyun, and Jeno

Snitch Mom: ALRIGHT FUCKERS GET ON THE CHAT WE’RE FINISHING THIS

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Wow somebody is passionate about Hunchback of Notre Dame

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Btw whoever cried over fanfiction that isn’t that bad

Has cried over fanfiction at three in the morning: I know I know it’s still embarrassing for me tho

Yaoi on Fire: It’s fine we won’t judge

Has cried over fanfiction at three in the morning: Thanks :D It’s Jungwoo btw

Shorty: Wait what were you reading

Has cried over fanfiction at three in the morning: Can’t say

Has cried over fanfiction at three in the morning: There are kids here

Shorty: 

_Name Unknown has changed Has cried over fanfiction at three in the morning’s username to Adorable Cutie._

Adorable Cutie: Aw thanks for the name uwu

Shorty: I don’t think Jungwoo is as innocent as the name suggests

Pwark Jisung: How comes he gets the good names???

Cinnamon Roll Leader: I’m more concerned with how three of these have to do with having a crush on me

Canada Man: Wait

Canada Man: Three?

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Yeah

Canada Man: I knew about two sinCE WHEN WHERE THERE THREE

Cinnamon Roll Leader: wait YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS

Had a crush on Taeyong for like a week: Hi Taeyong I’m Yukhei you’re really cute

Had a crush on Taeyong for like a week: Also for your information I guarantee almost everybody in this chat has thought you were hot at least once

Cinnamon Roll Leader:

Canada Man: You guys lied to me

Had a massive crush on Taeyong but actually moved on: About that

Had a massive crush on Taeyong but actually moved on: I’m Taeil I had a crush him a while ago tho

Cinnamon Roll Leader: What the fuck

_Name Unknown has changed Had a crush on Taeyong for like a week’s username to ConfusedForeigner.  
Name Unknown has changed Had a massive crush on Taeyong but actually moved on’s username to Dark Side of the Moon Taeil._

Cinnamon Roll Leader: So wait who’s the other person

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: WAIT I FOUND OUT WHO LIKES HUNCHBACK 2

Unironically liked the Hunchback of Notre Dame sequel: NO PLEASE I DONT WANT KUN TO MURDER ME

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: I found an old post on Jeno’s tumblr saying that he didn’t understand why the sequel was so hated since it was “unexpected fun”

Snitch Mom: JENO YOU HAVE SHIT TASTE

Unironically liked the Hunchback of Notre Dame sequel: ILL BE SEEING YOU GUYS I NEED TO HIDE

_Name Unknown has changed Unironically liked the Hunchback of Notre Dame sequel’s username to Lee Deadno.  
Name Unknown has changed Had a massive crush on Taeyong and TOTALLY moved on’s username to JaeJae.  
Name Unknown has given Cinnamon Roll Leader admin rights.  
Name Unknown has left the group chat._

Cinnamon Roll Leader: ...wait Yoonoh?

JaeJae: Um

JaeJae: Don’t worry about it okay

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Alright...

_JaeJae is offline._

#### Lee Taeyong -> Jung Yoonoh

6:03 p.m.

Lee Taeyong: Are you still up for that movie tonight

Lee Taeyong: It’s okay if you’re not I completely understand

Jung Yoonoh: I am

Jung Yoonoh: I just didn’t want you to know

Jung Yoonoh: I promise that I moved on a while ago

Jung Yoonoh: You’re just a really cool friend that’s all.

Lee Taeyong: Thank you

Lee Taeyong: You too :)

Lee Taeyong: I’ll be at your house at 7 then?

Jung Yoonoh: Of course

6:55 p.m.

The doorbell in Yoonoh’s house rang. As expected, it was five minutes before the agreed upon time, just like how Taeyong always arrived. Before going to the front of his house, Yoonoh checked the counter to see the bowls of popcorn, mixed with M&M’s and pretzels like how they always ate them.

It was a long standing tradition of Taeyong and Yoonoh to watch a movie every first Friday of the month. It originally started when Taeyong needed a break from his parents and Mark and to enjoy some peace and quiet with somebody else. Yoonoh’s parents were always out on the first Friday of the month, and they didn’t mind if he had a friend over as long as they didn’t do anything dumb. Their movie choices have ranged from dramatic masterpieces to so-bad-it’s-good bargain bin knock-offs they found at the dollar store, and Yoonoh just enjoyed being able to spend some quiet time with one of his best friends.

Yoonoh didn’t expect much to change that night despite the shenanigans in the group chat. A good word of advice he’s heard was that a relationship between somebody you’ve liked can only become weird if you make it that way.

Besides, he’s moved on from Taeyong. Sure, he still thought he was unmistakably cute and hot at the same time, but everybody thought that. It was normal to feel that way.

That’s at least what he thought until he opened the door to see Taeyong with newly dyed hair the color of cotton candy. The way it was paired with the expectant grin on his face made Yoonoh feel hot in the face.

“What do you think?” asked Taeyong who seemed to be studying Yoonoh’s face. “I’ve been wanting to dye it for a long time now but just haven’t gotten to it. I had Mark help me. Did he do a good job covering up the blonde?”

“Of course!” rapidly replied Yoonoh. “It looks amazing!”

“I’m glad!” Taeyong grinned again in the same sweet way he always did, making Yoonoh look away and smile nervously.

“Why don’t you go inside and wait in the living room? I’ll bring in the snacks.”

Taeyong did as told, and the moment he disappeared from Yoonoh’s sight, the blushing boy got his phone

#### Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s

6:57 p.m.  
_Chill Bi is online._

Chill Bi: Help me I was wrong about moving on

Chill Bi: Very wrong

Chill Bi: He dyed his hair and he looks so cute

Chill Bi: He seems so happy with it too like I’m-

Chill Bi: Literally an hour or something ago I told him I moved on as well

Chill Bi: Help

_Disaster Bi, Tall Bi, and 2 others are online._

Tall Bi: We’ve been knew

Disaster Bi: Isn’t he at your house right now?

Chill Bi: Yes

Actually Pan: Just continue as normal 

Actually Pan: And we can come up with a long term plan later

Actually Pan: I wouldn’t keep him waiting much longer

Chill Bi: Alright

Chill Bi: You know sometimes I hate feelings

Disaster Bi: mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a little snippet of actual writing because I felt like it.
> 
> Lmao I imagine the Yuwin reveal was a little anticlimactic, but I didn’t want huge reveals for all of the ships since not all them are going to contain the a ton of pining like in Markhyuck or Jaeyong. Do you guys like this? Let me know.
> 
> Also the party chapter is coming soon! It’s going to have more actual writing, so it may take a little bit before I release it. (I’m a slow writer, and I have a creative writing assignment recently assigned that I need to start on.) I’m excited though since it should just be a lot of dumb fun.
> 
> Question of the day? Which Cherry Bomb stage outfits were your favorites?
> 
> Why am I asking you say? No reason...
> 
> The new nicknames for the main group chat are the following.
> 
> Taeyong: Cinnamon Roll Leader  
> Mark: Canada Man  
> Doyoung: Doyoungie  
> Taeil: Dark Side of the Moon Taeil  
> Ten: Shorty  
> Jaehyun: JaeJae  
> Kun: Snitch Mom  
> Yuta: Yaoi on Fire  
> Winwin: Wholesome Boyfriend  
> Haechan: Hyuckie  
> Jungwoo: Adorable Cutie  
> Johnny: Oh daDDY  
> Jaemin: Barely Functioning  
> Jeno: Deadno  
> Renjun: Conspiracy Theories Renjun  
> Chenle: LeLe  
> Jisung: Pwark Jisung  
> Lucas: ConfusedForeigner  
> Xiaojun: Confused  
> Hendery: Disgusted  
> Yangyang: Chaotic
> 
> Other chats!
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay
> 
> Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi


	6. Calmish Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeil: Wait
> 
> Taeil: Does that mean he has to show Whiplash
> 
> Dongyoung: Hold on a minute Taeyong what the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to be honest, I could be happier with this chapter. The writing was kind of a mess imo. I didn’t have the willpower to rewrite it though because I want to be able to start on the next chapter where all the juicy stuff happens.
> 
> Next chapter will have wild shenanigans.

#### NCT in the House

11:12 a.m.  
_Cinnamon Roll Leader, ConfusedForeigner, and 19 others are online._

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Hi everybody! I know we talked about this in person, but everybody knows to meet up at my house for the party at 7 tonight, right?

Chaotic: Yep!!

Hyuckie: You bet :)

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: I’m excited ;)

Doyoungie:

Doyoungie: I know most of us are carpooling since we don’t need 21 cars in the street

Doyoungie: So who is riding with who tonight?

Doyoungie: I’m taking Yoonoh and Jeno

Yaoi on Fire: Sicheng is with me

Snitch Mom: I’m driving Yukhei

Shorty: Johnny’s driving me and Jaemin

Confused: My mom is dropping me, Kunhang, Yangyang, Chenle, and Jisung off

Adorable Cutie: Hey can anybody give me a ride tonight? My family’s car broke down

Snitch Mom: I can Jungwoo!

Adorable Cutie: Thank you!

#### Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s

Screaming Bi: AHHHHHHHHHHH

Chill Bi: mood

#### The Responsible Ones

11:16 a.m.

Dongyoung: Something’s up

Dongyoung: They’re planning something

Dongyoung: And I’m scared

Kun: So I wasn’t the only one whose bullshit senses were tingling

Taeyong: You mean with all the underclassmen?

Taeil: Yeah

Taeil: I think they’re trying to pull a prank on us

Taeyong: It can’t be all the underclassmen

Taeyong: Mark can’t pull off a prank to save his life

Taeyong: He gets too giggly

Taeyong: Today he’s acting normal

Taeyong: Donghyuck is coming over early to hang out with him too he would have been so antsy if they were actually planning something

Johnny: I feel Donghyuck coming over early is a red flag by itself

Dongyoung: That’s why he didn’t say who his ride was

Taeyong: Come on 

Taeyong: What is the worst he could do

Taeyong: I mean if the underclassmen are planning something, the most I’m expecting is them to bring a switch and Mario kart

Johnny: You underestimate them

Kun: You know what? Fuck it. Let’s make a bet

Kun: If everything goes relatively smooth, I’ll tell everybody the story of my gay awakening

Kun: If something ends up happening, you have to show everybody else your library of songs you’ve written so we can figure out what we’re doing for NCT

Kun: Because you’ve only sort of decided on 127’s first song and even then

Taeyong: Deciding is hard okay!!

Taeyong: I was going to talk with the other groups next week about it

Taeyong: And kinda get a feel for the vibes they want

Taeyong: Don’t make me show all of them

Kun: Scared you’ll lose?

Taeyong: Well no

Kun: Than accept

Taeyong: Fine

Taeil: Wait

Taeil: Does that mean he has to show Whiplash

Dongyoung: Hold on a minute Taeyong what the fuck

#### UNDERCLASSMEN UNITE (except Mark because he will give the surprise away)

5:45 p.m.

Lee Donghyuck: I’m at Mark’s place

Lee Donghyuck: Hopefully he’ll understand why we didn’t add him and join in originally

Lee Donghyuck: It’ll make things a lot easier

Lee Donghyuck: If not he’ll have to join Taeyong in the basement

Huang Renjun: Me and the boys are waiting in the car a block down

Huang Renjun: Let us know when the coast is clear for us to invade

Donghyuck impatiently rang the doorbell outside Mark’s house. The springing “ding dong” resonated within the echoey interior of the house and could be heard muffled outside the house. What followed was a restless pitter patter of footsteps that continually grew louder and louder until the door swung open. Mark was there now, looking put together yet casual with his jeans and red sweater. A little smile crossed his face

“Hey Hyuckie!” greeted Mark. “Come on in!”

The two sophomores joined together and walked to the living room where Taeyong was sitting. The older one was on his phone, presumably texting by the way his thumbs would contact the phone. Noticing the two ambling by, he set it down and waved.

“Hey, Donghyuck,” Taeyong casually greeted. “How are you?”

Donghyuck grinned. “Not bad. I like what you did with your hair by the way! Pink’s a good color on you. When did you dye it?” ”Last night.” He played with it a little, fluffing the side up. “I forgot the group doesn’t know yet besides Mark and Yoonoh.”

Donghyuck tilted his head in confusion. “Yoonoh? When did you see him?’

“Just for a movie night. It’s a tradition of ours.” He nodded off his head and frowned. “I think he was sick last night though. He was acting really off and felt really warm when I hugged him.” Mark looked about ready break out into laughter, and Donghyuck had to grab his hand to remind him he was in front of Taeyong.

“Well, I hope he isn’t sick I guess,” commented Donghyuck.

Taeyong nodded and looked back at his phone. “Well, you and Mark and can hang out until everybody else arrives. My parents are upstairs so if you two are going to be loud I recommend going to the basement.”

The two ended up going downstairs to the basement, and Donghyuck closed the door behind them.

“Alright, Mark, you gotta listen to me,” he whispered. “We both know you’re terrible at keeping surprises sometimes, so we didn’t tell you beforehand, but we’re planning on messing with the upperclassmen. I’ll explain everything. You in?”

6:30 p.m.

Taeyong watched as Donghyuck walked upstairs looking confused as ever. This raised suspicion as he set his phone on the table and stood up.

“Donghyuck, is everything alright?” he asked. “Where’s Mark?”

Donghyuck shook his head with wide eyes that raised concern within the high school senior. “Oh, Mark’s fine. There’s something in the basement we found that you might want to see though.”  


“Is it dangerous?”

“I think so. Come on, we’ll show you.”

Taeyong curiously followed Donghyuck down the stairs into the basement. He kept going until he arrived at the closed door of the walk in closet that was full of board games. It only occurred to Taeyong that he hadn’t seen Mark yet, but before he could say anything, Donghyuck opened the door and led him in.

From Taeyong’s view, there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, just board games.

“There isn’t-“Donghyuck closed the door.

“Mark, now!”

In a flash, the duo ran out and locked the door behind Taeyong.

#### UNDERCLASSMEN UNITE (except for mark because he will give away the surprise)

6:35 p.m.  
_Lee Donghyuck has added Mark Lee to the group chat.  
Lee Donghyuck has changed the group chat name to UNDERCLASSMEN UNITE (feat Mark.)_

Lee Donghyuck: Taeyong has been taken care of

Lee Donghyuck: Also Mark has officially joined us

Park Jisung: Hell yes

Park Jisung: Also hello Mark

Mark Lee: Hi

Mark Lee: I feel offended that you thought I couldn’t keep a secret

Huang Renjun: You wouldn’t have been able to keep this

Lee Jeno: Yeah that’s the true

Mark Lee: I don’t deserve this slander

Lee Donghyuck: Anyways those who have been waiting the coast is clear. We’ll let you inside

Lee Donghyuck: Renjun, you keep watch from the bushes for everybody but especially Yuta and Sicheng

Lee Donghyuck: Jeno, Jaemin, and Yukhei, let us know when your rides are on their way

#### NCT in the House

7:00 p.m.

Wholesome Boyfriend: Yuta wanted me to let you know that we will be a few minutes late

Wholesome Boyfriend: We ran into some traffic

Canada Man: Coolio you’re fine

Wholesome Boyfriend: What are you all up to anyway?

LeLe: Well

Barely Functioning: We’re just waiting on you guys so we can play a game

Wholesome Boyfriend: Should I be scared?

Lee Deadno: Probably not

Wholesome Boyfriend: I think I should be scared

Chaotic: Honestly mood

Chaotic: We’re just playing a game with Oreos though

Wholesome Boyfriend: Just Oreos?

Wholesome Boyfriend: Or is there something else?

ConfusedForeigner: Yes

Wholesome Boyfriend: Ack this sounds chaotic as fuck

Wholesome Boyfriend: Also where are my actual friends

Hyuckie: Well fuck you too

Yaoi on Fire: Sichengie be nice! :(

Yaoi on Fire: Give the underclassmen a chance

Wholesome Boyfriend: Yuta

Wholesome Boyfriend: Eyes on the road

Yaoi on Fire: We’re at a stoplight

Wholesome Boyfriend: -_-

Yaoi on Fire: Aw fine

Wholesome Boyfriend: :)

Disgusted: soft

Wholesome Boyfriend: shut

Wholesome Boyfriend: But seriously you all are fine and dandy people just

Wholesome Boyfriend: Idk I just have a harder time with new people?

Wholesome Boyfriend: It took me forever to even ask out Yuta

Wholesome Boyfriend: I’m not good with strangers and the only ones somewhat know are the China line and Mark

Wholesome Boyfriend: And that’s because Mark is Taeyong’s cousin

Lee Deadno: You’ll get to know us eventually ^^

Lee Deadno: It’s understandable though

Wholesome Boyfriend: Thanks you seem like nice kids

Wholesome Boyfriend: Albeit chaotic

Chaotic: So me I guess

Wholesome Boyfriend: Sure

Confused: Aw I didn’t know you were the one who asked Yuta out!!

Wholesome Boyfriend: Surprise? I guess?

Confused: It’s sweet

Wholesome Boyfriend: Thanks?

Wholesome Boyfriend: Wait what the fuck

Hyuckie: Huh

Wholesome Boyfriend: Is that Renjun I see in the bushes

Yaoi on Fire: I fucking knew it

Yaoi on Fire: What did you guys do to Taeyong and the others

LeLe: I have no idea what you’re talking about

Wholesome Boyfriend: Bullshit

#### UNDERCLASSMEN UNITE (feat Mark.)

7:03 p.m.

Huang Renjun: MAYDAY MAYDAY

Huang Renjun: THEY BE COMING FOR ME

Huang Renjun: I NEED HELP THEYRE CHSSSING MR

Na Jaemin: Don’t worry me and Jeno are at the door 

Park Jisung: If they make it inside everybody else be ready to throw them in the closet

Xiao Dejun: On it

Liu Yangyang: lmao aight

7:08 p.m.

Yuta and Sicheng had chased Renjun for what seemed like forever before they were at the front door of Taeyong’s place. Two more boys, Jeno and Jaemin, came running out and pulled him inside before closing the door.

As if that did anything. They didn’t even bother locking the door. The couple ran in after them, following them down the stairs into the basement.

That was their mistake. The moment they reached the basement, ten boys grabbed their arms and pulled them to a closed door. Donghyuck with a concentrated expression opened the door in a flash, and the other boys pushed them in before locking the door.

Sicheng and Yuta came face to face with the other members, all sitting around in the crowded walk in closet./p>

“Oh thank god you’re finally here,” commented Kun. “We can finally start their game?”

“Game?” questioned Yuta with a curious expression. “They’re just using oreos, right?”

Taeyong shook his head, sitting on the floor. “It’s not just oreos. It’s the oreo or death challenge. I hope you all have sensitive tastebuds.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you ask, yes I got the oreos or death challenge idea from Markiplier sUE ME. (It will not work the same way it did in the video though I just wanted to use oreos.) Part of it will also be based on something dumb my friends and I did with oreos a while ago. I hope ya’ll enjoyed this chapter despite how messy and short it was. Love you all! <3
> 
> Chat names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: Cinnamon Roll Leader  
> Mark: Canada Man  
> Doyoung: Doyoungie  
> Taeil: Dark Side of the Moon Taeil  
> Ten: Shorty  
> Jaehyun: JaeJae  
> Kun: Snitch Mom  
> Yuta: Yaoi on Fire  
> Winwin: Wholesome Boyfriend  
> Haechan: Hyuckie  
> Jungwoo: Adorable Cutie  
> Johnny: Oh daDDY  
> Jaemin: Barely Functioning  
> Jeno: Deadno  
> Renjun: Conspiracy Theories Renjun  
> Chenle: LeLe  
> Jisung: Pwark Jisung  
> Lucas: ConfusedForeigner  
> Xiaojun: Confused  
> Hendery: Disgusted  
> Yangyang: Chaotic
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay
> 
> Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi


	7. Oreos from Hell and Taeyong’s Gay Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee Taeyong: Can I ask you a question?
> 
> Kim Dongyoung: Um sure what’s up
> 
> Lee Taeyong: How did you know you were gay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the party chapter everybody! Writing this with 21 characters was way harder than I thought it would be, so I hope it came out okay!! More texting shenanigans will be in the next chapter!!
> 
> Side note: does anybody else think writing comedy in prose is the most difficult thing? Like I’ve written good more dramatic stories with lots of imagery, description, and little bits of humor, but writing straight humor while trying to make it sound good is really hard. I don’t think I could ever turn in something like this for somebody to seriously critique without apologizing profusely lmao.

7:10 p.m.

“Oreos or death challenge?” Yuta questioned. “What is that?”

Taeyong grimaced as he looked back at Yuta. “You’re going to be blindfolded and have to guess what flavor of oreo that you’re eating.”

“Oh?” Sicheng tilted his head. “What’s the death part then?”

Taeyong shrugged. “Hell if I know. Mark told me about this game and how he played it with his friends. He said because he didn’t get anything right, he had to go into something called oreo roulette. And it involved sriracha.”

Ten fake gagged. “Sounds gross. I hope we don’t have to do that.”

The door suddenly unlocked, and three people slipped in. Specifically, it was Donghyuck, Mark, and Yukhei.

“Welcome, newcomers,” cooed Donghyuck. “It is time you are all initiated.” A sly grin crossed his face as he held an opaque, concealed jar. “It is very simple. To escape the closet, you must be able to guess that flavors of oreos you are eating. Don’t think about prematurely escaping by the way; the door’s locked behind us right now.”

Taeil raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t we all already out of the closet? Besides Taeyong who was never in it to begin with?”

Donghyuck’s eyes went wide in realization for a second, but he didn’t say anything.

“We’re not talking about that kind of closet,” said a giggling Mark. “Anyways, here are the rules. Yukhei will blindfold one of you, and one by one, you will take turns being given one oreo. If you can guess it completely, we’ll let you out. If not, you must enter the punishment to escape.”

“Sounds easy enough,” commented Johnny. “Oreos are my childhood. I’ll go first and get this over with.”

Yukhei tied the blindfold over Johnny’s eyes and pulled his hand so it was out, ready to receive something on his palm. Donghyuck set a random oreo from his jar onto his hand. Johnny felt the weight in his hands and the amount of filling between the two cookies. 

“Oh what the fuck is this.”

The monster cookie in his hand had four layers, all in different colors. Everybody else could see something green, yellow, brown, and white with flecks of color. 

“By the way just a reminder,” Mark butt in. “You can’t say anything or you’ll already be put in the punishment at full force. As somebody that has gone through that, believe me. Avoid it at all costs.”

Johnny sighed and took a bite of the cookie, scrunching his face in disgust at the combinations of flavors. “Some of these don’t go together,” he mumbled. He swallowed and gagged. “Fuck, that’s gross. What flavors are there?”

“Four!” quickly answered Yukhei. “By the way, the flavors to choose from are double stuf, mega stuf, lemon, chocolate, dark chocolate, mint, carrot cake, birthday cake, candy corn, peanut butter, and off brand.”

“Okay, so that’s why my mouth tastes like when you brush your teeth after eating an orange, except really sweet.” He grimaced and bit into the oreo again. “Okay so definitely lemon and mint. As for the other two... is it chocolate and a regular double stuf?” Johnny’s blindfold was taken off only for him to receive disappointed glances from the rest of the members.

Donghyuck gestured at the cookie Johnny’s hand. “Last one was birthday cake.”

“Fuck.” Johnny dropped the oreo in the trashcan. “There are so many good flavor combinations you could have given me and you gave me some of the worst ones. Anyways, who is up next? This is harder than I thought it would have been.”

In about twenty minutes, the first round to the game ended with Johnny and Taeil, getting three right, Ten and Yoonoh with two, and Taeyong only guessing one filling correctly. Yuta and Jungwoo had been part of the lucky bunch that guessed their oreo fillings correctly and were able to leave the closet. Meanwhile, Kun and Sicheng hadn’t gotten a single thing correct. The two winners stayed for the others out of pity.

“The China line has failed,” sadly whispered Yukhei. “Good luck.”

Mark, Donghyuck, and Yukhei left the room only for the rest of the gang to come back with them. In Renjun’s hands was a plate of normal looking oreos.

Yoonoh narrowed his eyes. “I thought we were done with oreos.”

Renjun cracked a mischievous smile and shook his head. “That’s not the case. Welcome to oreo roulette bitch. All of you in here besides Yuta and Jungwoo, take a cookie. You are not allowed to smell, or you will have to eat another one.” Each member cautiously took a cookie, eyeing them carefully.

Jaemin smirked. “Now, all of you eat them.”

One by one, the members took decent bites out of the oreos.

They all started laughing once Taeil’s face contorted in disgust, Kun dropped his cookie and ran for the trashcan to spit it out, Yoonoh narrowed his eyes and muttered cuss words under his breath, and Ten looked ready to yeet his cookie into the stratosphere.

“What the fuck did you do to these cookies,” demanded Taeil. “There’s so many flavors, and none of them go together.”

“Tastes like death,” Ten added.

“Well, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” remarked Johnny. “I’m just tasting an oreo.” Sicheng and Taeyong nodded in agreement.  
Kun stood back up and leaned against the wall. “What the hell were even in those things?”

“An unholy mixture of soy sauce, ice cream, pickles, peanut butter, and Lao Gan Ma, all put in the blender,” casually mentioned Yangyang with a grin on his face. “Going to be honest, it was really hard trying to cut enough cream away from the center so it wouldn’t show. “

“I’ll say,” mumbled Jisung. “Chenle destroyed so many cookies, I’m happy Yukhei brought two boxes of the normal ones.”

Chenle made a pouty face. “It was hard, okay? You weren’t any better! Xiaojun and Hendery ended up doing most of the work!”

“Oh my god, you two enough,” exclaimed Hendery. “You two can kiss later. We still have to finish initiation.”

Taeil rolled his eyes. “Why do you call it initiation? You act like it’s a cult or something.”

Donghyuck perked up. “If you’re going to associate with us, you have to prove it. We have had this tradition whenever people joined our friend group. Most of us have had to suffer too, y’know.” A smirk crossed his face. “Besides, you’ll have fun with this tradition if there’s ever another member.”

“Taeyong better not accept any other members.”

Mark signaled for everybody to pay attention. “Okay, whether you got a hell oreo or not, if you only missed one of your creams in the guessing game, you’re done. Sit back and watch.”

“Hell yes!” Johnny did a little victory dance smiling. “I didn’t even suffer!”

Kun exchanged a terrified glance with Sicheng now understanding what his fate was going to be.

“Alright, everybody.” The voice belong to Renjun who stood in a position of comedic grandeur. “Take your next cookie! May fate smile down on you!”

The remaining five each took another cookie and quickly bit into them. In a few seconds, Kun had already run by the trashcan and thrown his remaining cookie in. Sicheng once again got a regular oreo.

Ten jumped up smiling. “Haha, bitches, I got an actual oreo!” He finished the entire thing and quickly sat down with the spectators.

“Me too!” Taeyong dawned his signature happy smile looking down at his barely bitten into oreo.

Yoonoh’s face coughed in disgust as he stared down at the remaining cookie. “How did that manage to be worse than the first one? I don’t even think my body will let me eat more of this.” 

“Here, Yoonoh, you want this?” He was gesturing his oreo to him. “U-um, I know it isn’t much but it’s probably sort of a palette cleanser, right?”

Yoonoh looked at Taeyong, then the oreo, then Taeyong again. “O-oh! Sure, thank you!” 

Yoonoh turned a shade of red and Taeyong looked away, appearing a bit uncomfortable. He didn’t know what this feeling was, and he didn’t understand why he was so happy that Yoonoh accepted. If he was honest he didn’t even know why he offered his oreo to begin with.

“Taeyong? Come on! We’re starting the next round.”

Taeyong snapped out his thoughts to realize he had been looking at the ground the entire time. Kun and Sicheng had already gotten their oreos and were waiting for him so they could get their punishments over with. He looked over to see Yoonoh, sitting down with Doyoung and Ten at the wall, looking at him with concern.

“Oh! S-sorry!” Taeyong quickly grabbed an oreo. “I just spaced out, that’s all. Let’s get this over with.” The three bit into their oreos without another word.

Taeyong had gotten a bad one. Ten was right. It tasted like death.

“Why the hell do I keep getting bad ones?!” complained Kun who had just spit in the trashcan for the third time in a row. “And how come Sicheng keeps getting the good ones? It must be some Yuta magic or something; he may have not gotten any right like he did, but he sure ain’t getting punished.”

Sicheng shrugged with a cute smile as he was nibbling on his third regular oreo.

“Maybe it is my boyfriend. After all, Yuta’s smiles can cure depression.”

Yuta responded with a huge grin. “Aw, thanks Sichengie!! Love you! Keep getting good oreos!”

Taeyong sat down at the space next to Yoonoh as he watched the last two members complete their “initiation.”

Kun held his oreo up next to Sicheng’s and narrowed his eyes. “Hey, maybe you just have a magic touch or something? Why don’t we switch?’

“Um, Kun, are you sure?” Sicheng asked. “What if you were actually holding a good one the entire time?”

“Let’s just do it. May as well. There’s a chance they could both be bad or good.”

Kun ended up running to the trashcan for the fourth time. Sicheng never touched whatever smoothie from hell the underclassmen made.

~  
The next few hours in the basement consisted of screaming over Mario Kart. Chenle had brought his switch, which was already a recipe for chaos. There was a lot of trash talk, people attempted to play with their controller upside down, and gummy bears that Renjun brought to bet on people with ended up getting thrown around like confetti. To say the least, it was a beautiful disaster.

Taeyong was watching the entire thing as a spectator, making sure things didn’t get too out of hand. However, he decided now was the perfect time to text somebody.

#### Lee Taeyong -> Kim Dongyoung

10:48 p.m.

Lee Taeyong: Can I ask you a question?

Kim Dongyoung: Um sure what’s up

Lee Taeyong: How did you know you were gay?

Kim Dongyoung:

Kim Dongyoung: Um

Kim Dongyoung: Why tf are you asking this now

Lee Taeyong: Sorry it’s important

Kim Dongyoung: Alright

Kim Dongyoung: I don’t know I just wasn’t into girls

Kim Dongyoung: I just kind of knew

Kim Dongyoung: So could you tell me why you’re asking this?

Lee Taeyong: Here let me ask you a better question

Lee Taeyong: How do you know when you have a crush on somebody

Kim Dongyoung: Oh

Kim Dongyoung: Wait a second

Kim Dongyoung: I think I know where this is going

Kim Dongyoung: Well

Kim Dongyoung: You kind of just know? Like you think of them a lot, feel really giddy and stressed around them, you want to impress them, that kind of stuff. 

Lee Taeyong:

Lee Taeyong: Hi my name is Taeyong, I thought I was straight for all my life but it turns out I’ve had a crush on Yoonoh for a while now and I’m an idiot

Kim Dongyoung: Wait is that why you were staring at the ground like an idiot after giving Yoonoh your partly eaten oreo?

Lee Taeyong: I don’t know why it occurred to me then, but I just kinda thought

Lee Taeyong: “Hey! It’s weird I feel this way about Yoonoh! Especially when it’s not around my other friends!”

Kim Dongyoung: Oh my god

Kim Dongyoung: So you’re telling me a fucking oreo made you have your gay awakening?  
Lee Taeyong: Technically I’d consider myself bi

Kim Dongyoung: *bi awakening*

Kim Dongyoung: You get what I mean though

Kim Dongyoung: What are you going to do about it?

Lee Taeyong: I don’t know

Lee Taeyong: Yoonoh literally told me yesterday that he moved on from me

Kim Dongyoung: Ouch

Kim Dongyoung: I’m sorry

Lee Taeyong: It’s fine

Kim Dongyoung: Are you sure?

Lee Taeyong: No

Lee Taeyong: I feel dumb

Kim Dongyoung: Are you thinking of coming out to the group at least?

Lee Taeyong: Maybe in a week once if I feel more comfortable

Lee Taeyong: I know everybody will be supportive I just still can’t believe this is happening

Kim Dongyoung: Take as much as you need

Kim Dongyoung: Do you want me to add you to the hurrigay group chat at least? (Cause I know Yoonoh is on that bi groupchat) I’ll make sure they won’t tell anybody else about this

Lee Taeyong: That would be nice

#### The Hurrigays

10:53 p.m.  
_Rabbit Gay is online.  
Rabbit Gay has added Lee Taeyong to the group chat._

Rabbit Gay: None of you are allowed to speak of this outside of this chat.

_Rabbit Gay is offline._

#### NCT in the House

12:05 p.m.  
_Cinnamon Roll Leader, Canada Man, and 19 others are online._

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Thanks everybody for coming! We had a lot of fun tonight :)

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Reminder about practices this week! We’ll be deciding on songs/theme we’ll be performing. Bring ideas if you have them!!

Snitch Mom: Taeyong will show all of his music so you guys can get a feel for the styles we want to do

Cinnamon Roll Leader: aha

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: 

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: Fuck it the kids weren’t that innocent to begin with 

Canada Man: huh

Canada Man: Taeyong why do I have a bad feeling about this

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Whatever you hear at the next club meeting you can’t tell mom and dad

Pwark Jisung: Oh wtf

#### The Hurrigays

12:06 p.m.  
_Dancing Gay, UwU Gay, and 6 others are online._

Dancing Gay: So is anybody going to talk about Taeyong being here or what

Graceful Gay: So you’re not straight then????

Lee Taeyong: Well you see

Sunshine Gay: Is it Yoonoh

Lee Taeyong:

Lee Taeyong: I don’t appreciate being called out like this

Sunshine Gay: I could kinda get vibes when you were talking about him before we locked you in the basement

UwU Gay: Out of curiosity, what made you realize?

Smiley Gay: Yeah I was wondering that too

Lee Taeyong: I gave him my oreo for no reason and wondered why I felt different around him

_Sunshine Gay has changed Lee Taeyong’s username to Just a Disaster._

Just a Disaster: Dongyoung I thought you said this chat would be nice

Rabbit Gay: Oh I didn’t say that

Rabbit Gay: I just told you that nobody would tell anybody else about this

Smiley Gay: What happens with the hurrigays stays with the hurrigays

Just a Disaster: I guess that’s reassuring enough

UwU Gay: It’s okay we make fun of Ten and Donghyuck all the time

Dancing Gay: Look I will actually ask Johnny out I just need to see if he is a little bit interested in me because if not that will be awkward

Graceful Gay: You said that two years ago

Dancing Gay: sHUT

Smiley Gay: Ten - has been an easy confident gay all his life

Smiley Gay: Meeting Johnny - “iS tHiS wHAT iT fEELS LIkE tO BE a PAnicKEd GAY”

Dancing Gay: DON’T DOUBLE TEAM ME YOU FUNCTIONAL GAYS

Dancing Gay: HE’S HOT AND REALLY FUNNY OKAY

Dancing Gay: WITH LITERALLY ANYBODY ELSE I BEAT YOU ALL IN GAY CONFIDENCE

UwU Gay: 

Dancing Gay: I take that back I beat everybody but Jungwoo

Just a Disaster: WAIT YOU LIKE JOHNNY??

Dancing Gay: Wasn’t it kind of obvious?

Dancing Gay: I already said I wanted to date somebody with a height difference

Just a Disaster: I couldn’t tell

Sunshine Gay: Says the disaster

Just a Disaster: oH DONGHYUCK WHO DO YOU LIKE

Sunshine Gay:

Sunshine Gay: I don’t have to give you an answer?

Rabbit Gay: It’s Mark

Just a Disaster: Wait really???

Sunshine Gay: YOU CANNOT TELL MARK

Just a Disaster: I won’t don’t worry

Just a Disaster: I’m less surprised about that one actually lol

Lowkey Gay: Yo why the fuck is this chat blowing up at midnight again

Lowkey Gay: It’s too late for this shit

Lowkey Gay: Did Donghyuck finally confess or something

Sunshine Gay: Scroll up

Lowkey Gay:

Lowkey Gay: waIT TAEYONG’S HERE NOW WHAT THE FUCK DID I MISS

Just a Disaster: Who are you??

Lowkey Gay: It’s ya boi Kun

Just a Disaster: Fuck I should have known

Lowkey Gay: You’re not the only one who thought he was straight for most of his life

Lowkey Gay: Welcome to the club pal

Rabbit Gay: Wait is this what you were talking about in the bet when you mentioned your gay awakening in the responsible gc

Graceful Gay: There’s a responsible group chat?

Lowkey Gay: You bet

Just a Disaster: I feel a little bit better about myself now

Lowkey Gay: You’re welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh you thought Taeyong was the only one that thought he was straight for a long time? Kun is here to tell you that’s not the case.
> 
> What did you think of this chapter? Did you like it? What kind of shenanigans do you want to see from the chats in the future? 
> 
> Question of the day? What were your favorite comebacks from NCT Dream and WayV? I’ll consider your comments since they may affect future chapters.
> 
> Chat names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: Cinnamon Roll Leader  
> Mark: Canada Man  
> Doyoung: Doyoungie  
> Taeil: Dark Side of the Moon Taeil  
> Ten: Shorty  
> Jaehyun: JaeJae  
> Kun: Snitch Mom  
> Yuta: Yaoi on Fire  
> Winwin: Wholesome Boyfriend  
> Haechan: Hyuckie  
> Jungwoo: Adorable Cutie  
> Johnny: Oh daDDY  
> Jaemin: Barely Functioning  
> Jeno: Deadno  
> Renjun: Conspiracy Theories Renjun  
> Chenle: LeLe  
> Jisung: Pwark Jisung  
> Lucas: ConfusedForeigner  
> Xiaojun: Confused  
> Hendery: Disgusted  
> Yangyang: Chaotic
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay  
> Taeyong: Just a Disaster
> 
> Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi


	8. Jeno’s Birthday with a Sprinkle of Chaos on the Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shorty: Why the hell are you up this early anyway?
> 
> Barely Functioning: I couldn’t sleep and was bored
> 
> Pwark Jisung: @Doyoungie @Doyoungie @Doyoungie
> 
> Barely Functioning: Fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super short today!! Legit I’m pretty sure there is next to no plot from previous chapters. Sorry about that, but I couldn’t think of a better way to prolong the conversation without starting a new chapter completely. Don’t worry, you’ll see more disastrous Jaeyong, Markhyuck, and more next chapter.
> 
> Also Happy Birthday to Jeno!! :D

#### NCT in the House

5:03 a.m.

_Barely Functioning is online._

Barely Functioning: Jeno!!

Barely Functioning: JENO!!!

Barely Functioning: J E N O ! ! ! ! !

Barely Functioning: @Lee Deadno

_Conspiracy Theories Renjun, Pwark Jisung, and 7 others are online._

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: What the FUCK are you doing spamming the group chat at this time

Chaotic: It’s too early for this shit

Barely Functioning: It’s Jeno’s birthday though!!

Barely Functioning: I wanted to wish him a happy birthday!!

Pwark Jisung: At five in the god damn morning?

Shorty: Why the hell are you up this early anyway?

Barely Functioning: I couldn’t sleep and was bored

Pwark Jisung: @Doyoungie @Doyoungie @Doyoungie

Barely Functioning: Fuck

_Doyoungie is online._

Doyoungie: YOU FUCKERS BETTER HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR WAKING ME UP

Doyoungie: I can’t believe I forgot to turn my ringer off

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Jaemin didn’t sleep last night

Doyoungie: JAEMIN

Barely Functioning: Don’t kill me please

Doyoungie: Does this usually happen?

Barely Functioning: 

Barely Functioning: Yes?

Pwark Jisung: His sleep schedule is so wack he drinks so much coffee to stay awake in the day

Doyoungie: Oh my god

Barely Functioning: Hey I’m still alive and I’m doing alright with my classes

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: I still don’t know how you’re passing with decent grades

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: You have so much caffeine in your system I swear you’re going to die from a heart attack one day

Doyoungie: Jaemin

Barely Functioning: Yes?

Doyoungie: This weekend, no coffee

Doyoungie: We’re fixing your sleep schedule whether you like it or not

Barely Functioning: But

Doyoungie: No

Doyoungie: Now if you excuse me, I’m going back to bed with my ringer off

Doyoungie is offline.

Barely Functioning: I’ll see you all in hell

Barely Functioning: I’m not surviving

Barely Functioning: This week will be my last and I hope you all loved me

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Don’t be over dramatic

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: You need it

Barely Functioning: :(

_Lee Deadno is online._

Lee Deadno: Jaemin what are you doing awake??

Lee Deadno: You didn’t procrastinate on that essay until two in the morning, right?

Barely Functioning: 

Barely Functioning: Happy Birthday Jeno

Lee Deadno: Aw thanks! :D

Chaotic: Lmao Dongyoung is going to be pissed

Chaotic: Jaemin you need to hide

Shorty: Yeah good luck

Barely Functioning: Aight I’m going to try to get another hour of sleep before I need to wake up for classes

Barely Functioning: See you all in class

Lee Deadno: See ya!!

_Barely Functioning, Lee Deadno, and 7 others are offline._

7:16 a.m.

_Lee Deadno, Hyuckie, and 19 others are online._

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Happy birthday Jeno!!!

Lee Deadno: Thank you :)

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: I must ask

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: Do you feel any older?

Hyuckie: Oh my god stop

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: Well do you

Lee Deadno: No?? That was a thing?

Hyuckie: My family asks me that every time I have a birthday I swear

Hyuckie: nO MOM, I feel the same as I did yesterday

Lee Deadno: Lmao

Doyoungie: jaeMIN

Barely Functioning: Uh oh

Barely Functioning: You can slam me later why don’t we make this about Jeno :)

LeLe: Hey Jeno you want a donut? I have an extra!

Snitch Mom: Chenle you’re going to get caught at one point

LeLe: THE DONUTS ARE TOO GOOD WHAT CAN I SAY

_Cinnamon Roll Leader has changed LeLe’s username to Chen-donut-stealing-le._

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Wow didn’t think Taeyong would call me out like this

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Kun asked me to change it

Chen-donut-stealing-le: That makes more sense

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Jeno do you want an extra donut since it’s your bday?

Lee Deadno: Bro I’ve always wanted to try one of the donuts I was just too scared of getting caught

Lee Deadno: I’ll be by my locker :)

Chen-donut-stealing-le: On my way!!

Snitch Mom: The day one of you gets a detention I’m not even going to feel bad

JaeJae: It’s probably going to be over something dumb

JaeJae: Chenle you should try stealing a box of those donuts and bring them to our next practice

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Okay I can try!! >:)

JaeJae: I was being sarcastic please don’t

Doyoungie: The teachers are going to kill us if we try pulling this shit

Doyoungie: You’re already on thin fucking ice for getting stuck in the basement

Chen-donut-stealing-le: You won’t understand why I steal these donuts until you try one for yourself

Chen-donut-stealing-le: They’re that worth it

JaeJae: Bullshit there’s no way

Lee Deadno: THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT YOU’VE GIVEN ME

Lee Deadno: THIS ISN’T EVEN A DONUT

Lee Deadno: IT’S ART

Lee Deadno: AND IT’S FOR MY TASTEBUDS

Disgusted: I think those donuts are laced with crack or something

Disgusted: And I’m intrigued

ConfusedForeigner: I want to try one!!!

Snitch Mom: I swear to fucking god if any of you try stealing donuts I don’t know what I’m going to do with you idiots

Adorable Cutie: Excuse my language

Adorable Cutie: But why the fuck are we talking about donuts?

1:11 p.m.

Canada Man: Can anybody tell me what a top and bottom are because nobody will tell me

Canada Man: Every time I ask Ten when he mentions it he just laughs at me

Doyoungie: oh my fuck

Adorable Cutie: oh no

Oh daDDY: So who is going to tell him

Cinnamon Roll Leader: noBODY

Canada Man: Is it bad or something?

JaeJae: I’m so sorry

Hyuckie: Mark you sweet innocent soul

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: Oml I didn’t realize you didn’t know

Shorty: Fuck it I’ll dm him

Cinnamon Roll Leader: TEN NO

Shorty: It’s about time he knew

Shorty: He genuinely thought I was talking about bunk beds when I originally mentioned it he’s not going to figure it out on his own

Oh daDDY: WAIT REALLY OH MY GOD

Canada Man: Don’t make fun of me I just don’t get it

Oh daDDY: You truly are a disaster bi

Oh daDDY: *chef’s kiss* mwah such chaos

Canada Man: WELL I UNDERSTAND NOW JESUS CHRIST

Canada Man: TEN JUST DMED ME

Canada Man: I was far off damn

Oh daDDY: Nobody will escape this groupchat innocent before we graduate

Oh daDDY: It just can’t happen

Cinnamon Roll Leader: JOHNNY WE HAVE F R E S H M E N

Oh daDDY: Who said they were innocent to begin with

Chaotic: If you think I’m even a little innocent you’re horribly mistaken

Pwark Jisung: Oh I’m not that innocent either

Pwark Jisung: I just don’t say anything

Chen-donut-stealing-le: I don’t know about myself but I have no damn idea what you guys are talking about with this top and bottom nonsense

Snitch Mom: PROTECT THE CHILD HE DOESN’T NEED TO HEAR THIS

Confused: Shouldn’t you all be in class?????

Confused: My phone has been buzzing nonstop and I think my chem teacher is going to blow a fuse

Cinnamon Roll Leader:

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Everybody get back to class

3:30

Wholesome Boyfriend:

Wholesome Boyfriend: What the fuck did I just read

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t have much to say except that part with Mark was based off a funny incorrect quote I saw online.
> 
> Question of the day? What are your predictions for the NCT Dream comeback?
> 
> Chat names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: Cinnamon Roll Leader  
> Mark: Canada Man  
> Doyoung: Doyoungie  
> Taeil: Dark Side of the Moon Taeil  
> Ten: Shorty  
> Jaehyun: JaeJae  
> Kun: Snitch Mom  
> Yuta: Yaoi on Fire  
> Winwin: Wholesome Boyfriend  
> Haechan: Hyuckie  
> Jungwoo: Adorable Cutie  
> Johnny: Oh daDDY  
> Jaemin: Barely Functioning  
> Jeno: Deadno  
> Renjun: Conspiracy Theories Renjun  
> Chenle: Chen-donut-stealing-le  
> Jisung: Pwark Jisung  
> Lucas: ConfusedForeigner  
> Xiaojun: Confused  
> Hendery: Disgusted  
> Yangyang: Chaotic
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay  
> Taeyong: Just a Disaster
> 
> Disaster Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi


	9. Another Bi is Confirmed and They Play Mafia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chill Bi: WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK
> 
> Chill Bi: I TOLD HIM I MOVED ON LIKE A FEW DAYS AGO KFDDSLFDDSFDSKLF
> 
> Actually Pan: God damn jesus christ are you okay
> 
> Chill Bi: no
> 
> Tall Bi: yOU DON’T SAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all have you seen Ridin’? Good shit right there. 
> 
> School’s been kinda kicking me in the head lately, but I hope this chapter is still good!!
> 
> Edit: Forgot to say this earlier, but thank you for 200+ kudos??? Never really thought people would like this fic this much!!

#### NCT in the House

1:02 p.m.

_Cinnamon Roll Leader, Canada Man, and 19 others are online._

Lee Deadno: Somebody help me

Lee Deadno: We can’t find Jaemin I think he’s dead

Wholesome Boyfriend:

Wholesome Boyfriend: Dead?

Lee Deadno: He ran out of coffee

Pwark Jisung: He already ran out??

Pwark Jisung: I was with him yesterday and he said he still had plenty for the rest of the week

Pwark Jisung: What happened?

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Well

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: You remember how he mentioned having an essay on Jeno’s birthday

Pwark Jisung: Yes?

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: He forgot we had two essays due the same day

Doyoungie: Oh my god

Doyoungie: What the fuck

Doyoungie: Where is he

Confused: We don’t know

Confused: He just disappeared

Confused: I don’t think the gym teacher has noticed yet either

Confused: Me and Kunhang are going to sneak out and look for him

Doyoungie: No don’t sneak out wtf

Doyoungie: I know it’s gym class but that’s unnecessary

Disgusted: Too late

Doyoungie: God damnit

Disgusted: Shouldn’t you be in class rn?

Doyoungie: Well excuse you I actually have a free right now

Doyoungie: I was in the library minding my own business until my phone kept buzzing

Disgusted: Passive aggressive much?

Doyoungie: You asked for it child

Confused: Okay seriously where tf is Jaemin tho

Confused: He isn’t in any of his usual places

Hyuckie: So is there a reason why Mark can’t open the sports closet?

Hyuckie: Like we were trying to get an extra basketball and legit the door’s stuck

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: I think I know where Jaemin is

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: It would make more sense too since I don’t think Jaemin could have snuck out of class without bumping into a hall monitor

Doyoungie: And Kunhang and Xiaojun did?

Confused: You underestimate the power of the china line

Confused: We’ve learnt all the tricks

#### The Responsible Ones

Doyoung: What have you taught your children

_Kun is online._

Kun: I don’t know what you’re talking about

Doyoung: You know what the fuck I’m talking about

Kun: im in cLASS LEAVE ME BE

_Kun is offline._

Doyoung: Motherfucker

#### NCT in the House

Lee Deadno: Update we have found Jaemin

Lee Deadno: He was sleeping in the closet and didn’t realize that he locked door behind him

Doyoungie: Why the fuck does it lock on the inside

Doyoungie: That literally makes no sense

_Barely Functioning is online._

Barely Functioning: You tell me

Doyoungie: Are you okay

Barely Functioning: I stayed up all night to write an essay on the Weimar fucking Republic and why it fell

Barely Functioning: Do you think I’m okay

Barely Functioning: I need caffeine

Doyoungie: Ew I hated that essay

Barely Functioning: yOU TeLL mE

Barely Functioning: I have soccer practice tonight too Jeno I’ll give you money could you drive by that coffee place and order my usual?

Lee Deadno: 

Lee Deadno: Just promise me that you won’t procrastinate like this again?

Barely Functioning: Fiiiiiiiine

Lee Deadno: Alright I’ll get you that coffee

Barely Functioning: Thanks fam

Hyuckie: Bruh this is so soft can we get 100 likes

Lee Deadno: no

Doyoungie: Now that’s settled I guess GET THE FUCK BACK TO CLASS

#### China Line Domination

Prince Eric: **Nobody tell Dongyoung that we’re just going to skip class**

MUSICALITY: **Yeah fuck gym it’s a dumb class anyways**

Tea Spiller: **Gotcha we won’t say anything to the teacher!**

Taller than a refrigerator: **No worries my dude**

Single Mom: **Oh my god Doyoung’s going to kill me**

#### The Hurrigays

4:15 p.m.

_Dancing Gay, Smiley Gay, and 7 others are online._

Just a Disaster: You know what I think I’m ready to tell the groupchat

Smiley Gay: You mean like coming out?

Just a Disaster: Yeah

Just a Disaster: I just needed some time to think it over since it was such a surprise at the time

Just a Disaster: It shouldn’t be a big deal, right?

Rabbit Gay: Of course not

Rabbit Gay: You’re still the same person after all, right?

Rabbit Gay: We just know you also like guys

Just a Disaster: That’s right

Just a Disaster: :D

Just a Disaster: It won’t be obvious that I like Yoonoh, right?

UwU Gay: No not at all

UwU Gay: Believe me if you’re being obvious we’ll let you know :)

Just a Disaster: Thanks guys!!

Dancing Gay: Alright go make us gays proud you disaster bi

Dancing Gay: Make sure to greet everybody with finger guns

Graceful Gay: stop

#### NCT in the House

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Hello everybody

Canada Man: This is ominous

Cinnamon Roll Leader: I just have something to tell you all

JaeJae: Oh what’s up?

JaeJae: Did anything bad happen?

Cinnamon Roll Leader: No of course not

Cinnamon Roll Leader: But recently I realized something and I think I’m ready to tell you all

Oh daDDY: Oh?

Cinnamon Roll Leader: I’m bi

Canada Man: WAIT TAEYONG WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

ConfusedForeigner: YOU ARE??

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: Oh shit really?

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: Cool

Pwark Jisung: Welcome to the club pal

Oh daDDY: AYYYYYYY

JaeJae: Wait really?

JaeJae: How long have you known?

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Only for a few days

JaeJae: Oh damn

Canada Man: Wait what made you even realize??

Canada Man: And why didn’t you tell ME?

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Don’t worry about it

Canada Man: :(

#### Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s

Chill Bi: WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK

Chill Bi: I TOLD HIM I MOVED ON LIKE A FEW DAYS AGO KFDDSLFDDSFDSKLF

Actually Pan: God damn jesus christ are you okay

Chill Bi: no

Tall Bi: yOU DON’T SAY

Tall Bi: This is funny as shit I’m sorry

Screaming Bi: YOONOH THIS MEANS YOU HAVE A CHANCE

Chill Bi: NO IT DOES NOT

Chill Bi: He probably doesn’t even feel that way about me

Disaster Bi: No Yukhei has a point

Disaster Bi: I’m upset he didn’t even tell me since I told him about Donghyuck

Disaster Bi: But he knows I’m on this chat tho so maybe he was a afraid I was going to tell you guys if he had a crush on Yoonoh

Actually Pan: That actually sounds reasonable lmao

Chill Bi: No

Tall Bi: Come on Mark has a point!

Tall Bi: It’s possible

Chill Bi: I said no

Disaster Bi: Just saying Yoonoh you’re worse at hiding your crush than even I am

Disaster Bi: And I should probably tell you that Taeyong noticed it

Disaster Bi: You were such a blushing mess he thought you were s i c k

Chill Bi: When was this?

Disaster Bi: When you went to go watch that movie with him

Chill Bi: Fuck

Screaming Bi: Come on Jae you can’t keep your feelings like this forever

Chill Bi: Hhhhhhhh

Actually Pan: Seriously though you can’t keep pining to this level

Actually Pan: This is overkill

Chill Bi: 

Chill Bi: I guess so

Chill Bi: I’m not saying anything today though

Chill Bi: Give me time

Tall Bi: Famous last words

Chill Bi: shut

Tall Bi: Btw Taeyong asked me if he could join the gc so here he is

Chill Bi: wAIT

_Tall Bi has added Lee Taeyong to the chat.  
Tall Bi has changed Lee Taeyong’s username to Pinkie Bi._

Pinkie Bi: Hey everybody!!

Pinkie Bi: Is the nickname supposed to reference my pink hair?

Tall Bi: Ye

Chill Bi: Hi Taeyong

Chill Bi: How are you

Pinkie Bi: I’m great thank you :)

Chill Bi: I’m glad

#### Jung Yoonoh -> Moon Taeil

Jung Yoonoh: hELP ME I CAnT

Moon Taeil: bruh

#### NCT in the House

Shorty: Let’s play a game

Snitch Mom: No

Shorty: Aw come on it’ll be fun

Snitch Mom: What is it

Shorty: Mafia

Oh daDDY: DIBS ON BEING THE NARRATOR

Yaoi on Fire: This is going to turn chaotic af

Yaoi on Fire: I’m in

Wholesome Boyfriend: ahhh fine I’ll join

Oh daDDY: Okay who is not joining

Oh daDDY: NOBODY OKAY

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Wait how do you play

Oh daDDY: Here lemme explain

Oh daDDY: So basically I’ll dm a select few of you guys. Three of you will be the mafia, one will be the doctor, and two will be the police. The rest of you will be townspeople. Each round I will tell you to go to sleep and the mafia will tell me who they want to kill, the doctors will tell me what hey want to save, and the detectives will tell me who they want to inspect. These will be in separate group chats. After that, I’ll tell you what happened and you all have to vote out who you think is the mafia.

Chaotic: Seems simple enough

Chaotic: Let’s start

Oh daDDY: Alright

Oh daDDY: I’ve dmed all of you. Good luck to you all.

Oh daDDY: Mafia, who do you want to kill?

Hyuckie: Oml please don’t kill me first I always die first in mafia

Oh daDDY: Doctor, who do you want to save?

Lee Deadno: Can the doctor save himself?

Oh daDDY: yes

Oh daDDY: Detectives, who would you like to inspect?

Confused: Just for clarification, you just tell them if they are right or wrong, right?

Oh daDDY: Ye

Oh daDDY: Alright everybody wake up

Hyuckie: Did I die

Oh daDDY: No

Oh daDDY: However, a different tragedy has occurred

Oh daDDY: Kun

Snitch Mom: YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME

Oh daDDY: You were having a nice dinner at this restaurant with five star reviews. Was serving some of the best damn kimchi you’ve ever eaten.

Snitch Mom: What do you MEAN I don’t have money for that kind of food

Snitch Mom: Plus why the hell would I go out of my way to get k i m c h i like that

Oh daDDY: Hush

Oh daDDY: Getting ready for bed that night, you felt funny. You were nauseous, dizzy, and had a horrible headache. You just took some ibuprofen and shook it off though, going to bed with a puke bucket in case you needed it. However, you never woke up

Oh daDDY: That night, you died of poison laced within the kimchi

Snitch Mom: Man I was hoping I’d die from getting stabbed or something

Snitch Mom: Not fucking food poisoning

Oh daDDY: Hush you’re dead now

Snitch Mom: I resent this

Oh daDDY: So who do you guys think is the mafia

Barely Functioning: I’m just going to go out on a limb and say it’s Yoonoh

JaeJae: Huh

JaeJae: Why me?

Barely Functioning: You like kimchi. You must know it will enough to lace poison on it without anybody else knowing

JaeJae: That could be ANYBODY

JaeJae: What about you?

JaeJae: You’re also Korean

Barely Functioning: Except I’m more creative than that damnit

Barely Functioning: I’d like impale their neck with an umbrella or something, y’know something memorable that would instill fear in the hearts of the public

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Oddly specific

Barely Functioning: Just a thought

Cinnamon Roll Leader: I say it’s either Taeil, Sicheng, or Jungwoo

Wholesome Boyfriend: Wtf why me

Cinnamon Roll Leader: They say it’s always the quiet ones

Wholesome Boyfriend: Bullshit Johnny picked the people

Wholesome Boyfriend: For all we know he could have picked Donghyuck who is legit is the most troll mafia possible

Hyuckie: Not even going to deny it lmao

Hyuckie: I wish I was the mafia lol

Hyuckie: Nobody usually picks me tho ;-;

Hyuckie: If I can bet on anybody though it’d be Mark

Canada Man: Hyuckie?? Why me??

Hyuckie: idk

Hyuckie: It’s a hunch

Canada Man: I thought we were friends

Hyuckie: It’s mafia my dude trust nobody

Pwark Jisung: Doesn’t that mean we can’t trust you either?

Hyuckie: No you can trust me

Pwark Jisung: I think Donghyuck is the mafia

Disgusted: No u

Pwark Jisung: Uno reverse card

Yaoi on Fire: My money’s on Taeil

Yaoi on Fire: I feel like people wouldn’t expect him because he’s honestly one of the most responsible ones here

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: What?? No

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: Why the hell would I kill Kun of all people?

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: He’s one of the people on this chat that I’m the least done with

Disgusted: Ehhhh I don’t buy it

Disgusted: You’d only kill our china mom just so that you could say that and keep your cover

ConfusedForeigner: ITS DECIDED IT MUST BE TAEIL

ConfusedForeigner: WE MUST EXACT REVENGE FOR OUR FALLEN CHINA MOTHER

Oh daDDY: So I guess we’re deciding between Donghyuck and Taeil

Oh daDDY: Both of you state your alibis. Where were you at 5 pm yesterday?

Hyuckie: I was at the grocery store getting myself some apples for an apple pie

Hyuckie: Before you ask, I got Granny Smith apples because I’m not a heathen who likes red delicious

Shorty: Lmao wtf it’s so specific

Shorty: Also red delicious is fine what are you saying

Hyuckie: H E A T H E N

Oh daDDY: Alright Taeil what’s your alibi

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: I was eating dinner at my home like a normal person

Lee Deadno: Likely story

Confused: I don’t buy it

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: What the fuck do you want from me

ConfusedForeigner: THE TRUTH 

ConfusedForeigner: AND YOU ARENT TELLING IT

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: So you’re saying you’re going to believe Donghyuck over me?

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Exactly

Confused: Yep

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Sorry Taeil

Oh daDDY: It seems to be decided

Oh daDDY: Does anybody object to this?

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: I do

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: I fucking object

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Well too bad

Chen-donut-stealing-le: You’re outta here

Oh daDDY: It has been decided. Taeil, you’re out

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: well fuck

Oh daDDY: He’s also not the mafia

Cinnamon Roll Leader:

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Whoops

Oh daDDY: Alright everybody go back to sleep

Oh daDDY: Mafia, tell me who you want to kill

Oh daDDY: Doctor, tell me who you want to save

Oh daDDY: Detectives, tell me who you want to inspect

Adorable Cutie: So suspenseful uwu

Oh daDDY: Everybody, wake up

Oh daDDY: So Donghyuck

Hyuckie: Fuck

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Aw shit here we go again

Oh daDDY: You were taking a midnight stroll sight seeing around trying to get the stress of life off your back

Hyuckie: Why the fuck would I be doing that if the THE MAFIA EXISTS

Oh daDDY: hM I’m sure you can come up with a good reason

Oh daDDY: But anyway you ended up walking alone without a person in sight, which was your downfall. A shadow behind a tree threw a knife right in the back of your neck

Snitch Mom: Hah eat it Donghyuck

Oh daDDY: However a miracle occurred when the doctor heard your screaming and managed to save you last minute

Snitch Mom: are you fucking serious

Hyuckie: I’m too fabulous to die

Hyuckie: Also hAH FUCK YOU MAFIA

Lee Deadno: The doctor had 18 people to choose from

Lee Deadno: Themselves included

Lee Deadno: And they chose Donghyuck

Oh daDDY: Yes

Lee Deadno: Donghyuck count your fucking blessings

Doyoungie: We still need to vote out who we think is the mafia right?

Pwark Jisung: Think so

Hyuckie: I still think it’s Mark

Canada Man: WTF WHY ME

Canada Man: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU

Hyuckie: You tried to kill me :(

Canada Man: NO I DIDNT

Chaotic: No I’m actually with Donghyuck on this one

Chaotic: Idk something about Mark screams, “I’m secretly the mafia”

Canada Man: YANGYANG NO NOT YOU TOO

Canada Man: What about literally anybody else

Canada Man: HmmMMM Kunhang is looking pretty sus

Disgusted: No fuck you

Oh daDDY: Mark, Kunhang, give me your alibis for where you were at midnight last night

Canada Man: I was sleeping!! 

Hyuckie: Sure you were

Disgusted: I was working on my essay late at night

Disgusted: So pulling a Jaemin

Barely Functioning: Hey fuck you :(

Disgusted: No u

Oh daDDY: Alright does anybody else think anybody else is the mafia

Oh daDDY: No? Alright, I want all of you to vote on if you think Mark or Kunhang is the mafia

Hyuckie: Mark

Chaotic: Mark

Disgusted: Mark

Canada Man: Kunhang

Shorty: Mark

Pwark Jisung: Kunhang

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Kunhang

JaeJae: Mark

Doyoungie: Mark

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Kunhang

Confused: Mark

Barely Functioning: Kunhang

Lee Deadno: Mark

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Mark

Yaoi on Fire: Mark

Wholesome Boyfriend: Mark

Adorable Cutie: Mark

Confused Foreigner: Kunhang

Canada Man:

Oh daDDY: It’s official Mark you’re out

Oh daDDY: Also Mark was the mafia congrats

Hyuckie: Fucking knew it

Canada Man: How

Hyuckie: You were acting super sus I’d say

Canada Man: Hm

Oh daDDY: Alright everybody to go sleep

Canada Man: hhhhhhhh

Oh daDDY: Mafia, tell me who you want to kill

Oh daDDY: Doctor, tell me who you want to save

Oh daDDY: Detectives, tell me who you want to inspect

Oh daDDY: Aight

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Spill the tea sis

Oh daDDY: Donghyuck

Hyuckie: Wow you all really hate me don’t you 

Oh daDDY: You learnt from your past mistakes and decided not to go on a midnight walk again. So instead, you decided to make an apple pie. That was your downfall however. You were so focused that you didn’t realize that a person was standing at your window until you turned around and were shot in the head

Hyuckie:

Wholesome Boyfriend: As an intellectual would say

Wholesome Boyfriend: That’s an oof

Chaotic: Well shit

Yaoi on Fire: Damn you guys really went after Donghyuck

Yaoi on Fire: What did he ever do to you guys

Canada Man: He killed me ;-;

Hyuckie: I’m sorry Mark you know I’d never kill you in real life :(

Hyuckie: Even if you were actually the mafia

Canada Man: Aw thanks :)

Doyoungie: I know you two dorks are being soft and everything

Doyoungie: But who do we think is the mafia?

Doyoungie: We don’t really have a “lead” or anything

Shorty: It’s hard to have a lead in mafia

Shorty: Honestly, I’m looking at the people who have barely spoken

Shorty: So Jungwoo, Jaemin, Chenle, Xiaojun, and Yukhei

Confused: You haven’t really been talking either hMMMM

Shorty: You right

Shorty: But I promise I’m not the mafia

Doyoungie: You say that as if it won’t raise suspicion in your direction

Shorty: No I know it will

Shorty: But what else am I supposed to say

Doyoungie: Fair

Cinnamon Roll Leader: I still stand by my previous statement that it’s always the quiet ones

Cinnamon Roll Leader: It has to be Jungwoo he seems to cute to be a killer

Adorable Cutie: No it’s not me!!! :(

Adorable Cutie: I’m just your typical baker!!

Adorable Cutie: Donghyuck was my friend we baked pies together ;-;;;;;

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Likely story

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Honestly Ten pointing out some people is already sus

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Everybody is so suspicious

Oh daDDY: Have we decided to narrow it down to Jungwoo and Ten then?

Shorty: Wait wtf no

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Yes

Oh daDDY: Both of you. Alibis.

Adorable Cutie: I was stressed about everything so I was baking my worries away T^T

Shorty: I was up drawing until two in the morning

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Okay those both sound legit but I’m leaning towards Ten

Lee Deadno: Yeahhhhh same

Doyoungie: Yep

Shorty: NO wtf

ConfusedForeigner: Yeah what do you have to say TEN

Shorty: You’re all going to make a mistake killing me

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Why would that be?

Shorty: Because I’m the doctor you fuckers

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Wait really??

Confused: Oh shit

Pwark Jisung: BULLSHIT

Pwark Jisung: BULL

Pwark Jisung: FUCKING

Pwark Jisung: SHIT

Shorty: Wait what the fuck

Pwark Jisung: YOUR A TERRIBLE LIAR IM THE DOCTOR YOU SHIT

Shorty: EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK

Shorty: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Pwark Jisung: YOURE THE MAFIA AREN’T YOU

Shorty: NO IM THE DOCTOR

Pwark Jisung: BUT IM THE DOCTOR

Disgusted: This is like the equivalent of that spider man meme

Confused: *eats popcorn*

Pwark Jisung: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU HAVE SAVED DONGHYUCK THOUGH

Shorty: Because I thought he was going to die???

Pwark Jisung: When the FUCK did you care about Donghyuck dying in this game?

Shorty: Look I’m just doing my job alright?

Pwark Jisung: Bullshit

Shorty: No u

Barely Functioning: So you’re telling me that one of them is the mafia while the other is actually the doctor?

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Basically

Oh daDDY: I think we know who we’re voting for

Oh daDDY: Vote for who you think is the killer

Doyoungie: Jisung

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Ten

Barely Functioning: Ten

Lee Deadno: Ten

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Ten

ConfusedForeigner: Ten

Confused: Jisung

Yaoi on Fire: Jisung

Wholesome Boyfriend: Ten

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Ten

Disgusted: Ten

Chaotic: Ten

JaeJae: Jisung

Pwark Jisung: Ten

Shorty: Like my vote matters but Jisung

Shorty: Fuck you all I hope you all die

Oh daDDY: So Ten’s dead

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Was he the mafia?

Oh daDDY: lmao no

Pwark Jisung: WAIT HE ISN’T?

Oh daDDY: Nope

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: I smell bullshit

Pwark Jisung: No seriously I think Ten is trolling us

Pwark Jisung: I’m dead serious I’m the doctor

Doyoungie: Honestly I can see Ten trolling us

Chaotic: hm

Oh daDDY: Alright everybody go back to sleep

Oh daDDY: Mafia who do you want to kill

Oh daDDY: Doctor who do you want to save

Oh daDDY: Detectives, who do you want to inspect

Wholesome Boyfriend: Wait so the doctor is alive?

Oh daDDY: I can’t tell you

Wholesome Boyfriend: Do you only tell us if the mafia is dead?

Oh daDDY: Basically

Wholesome Boyfriend: Fuck

Oh daDDY: Also Sicheng

Wholesome Boyfriend: OH FUCK

Oh daDDY: You and Yuta were on a date getting ice cream and playing arcade games. Y’all were wholesome as fuck. That night, you two were walking back home in the rain sharing an umbrella when a figure in an alley pushed both of you into the street.

Oh daDDY: Yuta managed to get out of the way in time, but Sicheng was still on the ground when he was hit by a car

Yaoi on Fire: WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS DECIDED TO KILL MY BOYFRIEND

Yaoi on Fire: I SHALL PERSONALLY END YOU

Wholesome Boyfriend: Babe go get them for me

Wholesome Boyfriend: So I can bitch slap them in the afterlife

Yaoi on Fire: Will do!!

Chaotic: It’s Jisung

Chaotic: Doesn’t anybody else think this is suspicious?

JaeJae: Why yes

JaeJae: I’m not buying any of this bullshit

JaeJae: You want to know what I think?

JaeJae: Jisung is the mafia and decided to try to get rid of the doctor through his bold move

Pwark Jisung: Lol no wtf

Doyoungie: That’s what I was thinking

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Aw Jisung is that true?

Pwark Jisung: No I promise

Pwark Jisung: I think its Yoonoh

Pwark Jisung: He’s been so quiet only to single me out when the time is right

JaeJae: No fuck you

Oh daDDY: What are your guys’ alibis for 7 pm?

JaeJae: I was working my job at a pet store when this all went down

Pwark Jisung: I was cramming in an essay last minute

Pwark Jisung: So pulling a Jaemin

Barely Functioning: Why is staying up late always associated with me???

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Have you seen your name?

Barely Functioning: I-

Barely Functioning: Carry on

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Why can I see you actually working at a pet store tho?

Cinnamon Roll Leader: It sounds very Yoonoh

JaeJae: Oh because I work at one

JaeJae: I thought I told you lol

Disgusted: Can we agree tho that Jisung is probs the mafia?

Oh daDDY: Idk let’s vote

Pwark Jisung: Yoonoh

JaeJae: Jisung

Chaotic: Jisung

Doyoungie: Jisung

Disgusted: Jisung

Yaoi on Fire: Jisung

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Jisung

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Yoonoh

ConfusedForeigner: Yoonoh

Barely Functioning: Jisung

Lee Deadno: Yoonoh

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Jisung

Confused: idk Jisung I guess

Oh daDDY: Aight Jisung you’re dead

Oh daDDY: Also he was the mafia

Pwark Jisung: Fuck

Shorty: HAHA FUCK YOU 

Shorty: KARMA IS A BITCH

Pwark Jisung: 

Oh daDDY: Alright everybody go back to sleep

Barely Functioning: FUCK tHERE’S ANOTHER ONE

Lee Deadno: Oh yeah

Oh daDDY: Mafia, who do you want to kill?

Oh daDDY: Doctor, who do you want to save?

Oh daDDY: Detectives, who do you want to inspect?

Oh daDDY: townspeople, wake up

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: I’m calling it it’s either Yoonoh or Dongyoung

Oh daDDY: Lmao you’re right

Oh daDDY: So Yoonoh

JaeJae: God damnit

Oh daDDY: You were working your shift at the pet store just like every day. A certain customer came in to greet you that day with a pet carrier in hand and asked you to look at it, claiming it was his sick bunny. You thought it was strange since you’ve never known this guy for having a bunny before, but opened up the carrier anyway.

Oh daDDY: However, the moment you took the bunny in the back and opened up the carrier, you realized it was a stuffed rabbit with something squirming inside. Confused, you opened the zipper on its back only then you realized it was a black mamba. It sprang out of the bunny and bit you. The door behind you was locked, and you were left to die. No evidence was left behind because the security cameras were tampered with.

Confused: How the others died previously: poison in food, shot in the head, pushed in the street, etc.

Confused: Yoonoh: gets bitten by a fucking black mamba hidden in a stuffed rabbit

JaeJae: Christ you had to make my death extra didn’t you

JaeJae: Is this a callback to Jason?

Oh daDDY: ;)

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Who is Jason?

JaeJae: Well you see

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: I’m just going to link the video in the chat

Oh daDDY: RENJUN NO

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: RENJUN YES

JaeJae: Pls not today

Disgusted: NO NO NO NOT TODAY

Barely Functioning: GET THAT KPOP SHIT OUT OF HERE

Disgusted: SAYS YOU I KNOW YOU LOVE KPOP

Barely Functioning: BUT NOT HERE

Doyoungie: Cut the shit you two oh my god

Doyoungie: We need to figure out who the mafia is

Yaoi on Fire: I think it’s one of the underclassmen

Yaoi on Fire: Ya’ll have just been going after the juniors and seniors and there’s only four of us left

Cinnamon Roll Leader: You’re right

Doyoungie: I think it’s Renjun

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: aCK NO ITS NOT

Doyoungie: Idk you come off as suspicious

Doyoungie: You’re already the apparent tea spiller of the China Line

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: But that has n o t h i n g to do with this game

Confused: idk it paints you as sus

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Even the china line is going against me??

Confused: China line can’t be united if Kun, Ten, and Sicheng are all dead

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: I didn’t do it though!

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: It was probably Chenle

Chen-donut-stealing-le: WHY ME??

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: You were probably in on it with Jisung which is why you never voted against him

Chen-donut-stealing-le: I didn’t know? He was my friend!!!

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: That’s what the mafia would say

Confused: Idk both of you seem like you could have done it

Oh daDDY: Alright there is only one way to decide this

Oh daDDY: We’re voting

Confused: Renjun

Disgusted: Chenle

ConfusedForeigner: Renjun

Barely Functioning: Chenle

Lee Deadno: Chenle

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Renjun

Doyoungie: Renjun

Yaoi on Fire: Renjun

Adorable Cutie: Chenle

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Chenle

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Renjun

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Fuck

Oh daDDY: Lmao rip Renjun

Oh daDDY: Also he wasn’t the mafia

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Yeah FUCK ALL YALL

Doyoungie: Oh my god we aren’t getting anywhere

Doyoungie: At this rate we aren’t going to find him at all

Chaotic: Come on we need to keep on going

Chaotic: We’re so close I’m sure we’ll find him

Oh daDDY: Alright everybody go back to sleep

Oh daDDY: Mafia who do you want to kill

Oh daDDY: Doctor who do you want to save

Oh daDDY: Detectives, who do you want to inspect

Oh daDDY: Alright everybody wake up

Chaotic: oh my god please tell me I’m not dead

Oh daDDY: Kunhang

Disgusted: oh no

Oh daDDY: You decided you needed Jesus and went to the church that night to pray

Disgusted: What the fuck

Oh daDDY: But somebody else was there was well. They were in the choir loft, holding a match. Suddenly they dropped it on the wooden floors and pews and it set on fire.

Oh daDDY: You tried to escape, but all of the doors were locked. The building burned down with you trapped inside

Disgusted: You know fuck it

Disgusted: At least I went out with a bang

Hyuckie: Technically I went out with a bang

Disgusted: Correction

Disgusted: With a flash

Chaotic: Aight so Imma just say it right here

Chaotic: I’m the detective and the Yukhei is the mafia

ConfusedForeigner: WAIT WHAT

ConfusedForeigner: WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT

Chaotic: Because I just inspected you BITCH

Chaotic: Donghyuck made it too damn obvious he was the detective because he REALLY singled out Mark in the beginning

Chaotic: But I made sure to stay alive and find the mafia

ConfusedForeigner: Oh my god Jisung was right

ConfusedForeigner: Why didn’t I listen to you Jisung

Oh daDDY: So I guess that’s the game then??

Pwark Jisung: Damnit Yukhei you didn’t even try to fight for your name

Canada Man: Yeah even I did better

Confused: So who was the doctor?

Shorty: Oh that was me

Oh daDDY: Yeah you guys fucking killed the person trying to save you idiots

Shorty: Yeah fuck you all

Shorty: I’m never saving any of you again

Wholesome Boyfriend: If I had a dollar for every time you all cussed I’d have enough money to convince all of you pining bitches to confess to your crushes

Wholesome Boyfriend: And even then, it might not be enough

JaeJae: I-

Cinnamon Roll Leader: 

Hyuckie: aCK

Canada Man: well

ConfusedForeigner: I feel so called out right now how could you

Shorty: Mood

Yaoi on Fire: That’s my boyfriend everybody

Yaoi on Fire: Spitting straight fire :)

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Yknow Sicheng I’ve thought about it

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: You seem to have all the relationship tea

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: If we joined together, we could be the strongest duo of tea spillers

Wholesome Boyfriend: No

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: welp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question of the day? What were your thoughts on the NCT Dream comeback?
> 
> The club meeting chapter is coming next!
> 
> Chat names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: Cinnamon Roll Leader  
> Mark: Canada Man  
> Doyoung: Doyoungie  
> Taeil: Dark Side of the Moon Taeil  
> Ten: Shorty  
> Jaehyun: JaeJae  
> Kun: Snitch Mom  
> Yuta: Yaoi on Fire  
> Winwin: Wholesome Boyfriend  
> Haechan: Hyuckie  
> Jungwoo: Adorable Cutie  
> Johnny: Oh daDDY  
> Jaemin: Barely Functioning  
> Jeno: Deadno  
> Renjun: Conspiracy Theories Renjun  
> Chenle: Chen-donut-stealing-le  
> Jisung: Pwark Jisung  
> Lucas: ConfusedForeigner  
> Xiaojun: Confused  
> Hendery: Disgusted  
> Yangyang: Chaotic
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay  
> Taeyong: Just a Disaster
> 
> Disaster Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi  
> Taeyong: Pinkie Bi


	10. Be Careful What You Blast Over the Speakers in the Cafeteria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaotic: Don’t worry guys I disconnected the speaker
> 
> Chaotic: It’s gone
> 
> Chaotic: And I think only half of the people here are terrified
> 
> JaeJae: Why the hell do you have speakers to begin with
> 
> Barely Functioning: You never know when you need your portable Bluetooth speakers!!
> 
> Barely Functioning: Also fCUK PRINCPPAL SOOMSN CAME RUN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Markhyuck are a duo of idiots in this story and that’s the tea.
> 
> Fyi updates are going to become a little slower than usual since I have a lot of schoolwork I need to do before the year finishes off. I’ll still try to update within a week, but I want to make sure I deliver some good funny stuff instead of rushed chapters overall. Thanks for staying with me this far! Love all of you guys!!

#### NCT in the House

11:45 a.m.  
_Cinnamon Roll Leader, Canada Man, and 19 others are online._

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Hey guys! Before our meeting today, I wanted to send you guys all the music I have in my library that we can do

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Obviously they aren’t finished since we need to record your own vocals to it instead of my sloppy demo style stuff, but this is what we got right now.

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Let me know what you’re interested in and we can go into it more at the club meeting!

Cinnamon Roll Leader: [insert link]

Snitch Mom: Oh my god he actually sent all of his stuff

Snitch Mom: You wanted 127 to still do Cherry Bomb, right?

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Yeah

Yaoi on Fire: Ooooo I’ve been listening to cherry bomb and it sounds cool

Yaoi on Fire: I’m excited to do it

Oh daDDY: IM THE BIGGEST HIT IM THE BIGGEST HIT ON THE STAGE

Canada Man: Y’all the raps sound fun I’m down for that

Canada Man: Honestly all these songs are fine as long as I’m not singing long ass ride again lmao

Dark Side of the Moon: About that

Canada Man: huh

Cinnamon Roll Leader: oH ITS NOTHING

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Hey so we go up

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Could dream do that one?

Pwark Jisung: Oooo let me listen to that one

Barely Functioning: Bro we go up is a BOP

Hyuckie: WE GO UP UP UP UP WE GO UP

Lee Deadno: What about WE GO BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

Disgusted: excuse me but have any of you HEARD moonwalk?

Disgusted: MOONWALK IS THE ULTIMATE BOP

ConfusedForeigner: What about Takeoff tho? That shit hits hard!!

Wholesome Boyfriend: Honestly most of these are pretty cool

Wholesome Boyfriend: Taeyong you have good taste

JaeJae: Yeah Tae you’ve done a great job with these :)

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Thank you!!

Shorty: Oh my god who is blasting the we go up demo in the cafeteria

Shorty: It’s so fucking loud

Shorty: I came here to get a fucking spoon so I could go back to my life eating outside with the other upperclassmen

Shorty: Is it always like this here

Shorty: Oh my fuck who is blasting Moonwalk too

Chaotic: Lmao the teachers are going to kill us

Lee Deadno: I think everybody else is going to kill us

Lee Deadno: They’re all giving us dirty looks especially the Red Velvet girls

Canada Man: Bro I’m friends with Wendy since we kind of bonded over being from Canada and she already thought our group is full of crackheads before

Canada Man: I don’t think this is helping our case

Doyoungie: Wait a second

Doyoungie: Wait a fucking second

Doyoungie: Taeyong what the fuck is Whiplash

Doyoungie: I know Taeil mentioned it in the other group chat but I wasn’t expecting this holy jesus

Cinnamon Roll Leader: FUCK DONGYOUNG NOT IN THIS GC

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Excuse me what

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: We haven’t listened to that one yet what’s it about

Cinnamon Roll Leader:

ConfusedForeigner: OOO let’s play it!!

Snitch Mom: OH FUCK NO

Snitch Mom: WHATEVER YOU DO DON’T BLAST IT IN THE CAFETERIA OH MY GOD

Doyoungie: I shouldn’t have said anything

Canada Man: OH

Canada Man: WELL THEN

Confused: I think I need an adult

Pwark Jisung: Shit I wasn’t expecting this

Chen-donut-stealing-le: I don’t get it they’re just talking about getting whiplash and driving from the airport right

Chaotic: OMG CHENLE YOU REALLY DONT GET IT

Hyuckie: Omfg you all are babies

Hyuckie: Sure the song is sexy but it isn’t that bad

Hyuckie: We’re halfway through and compared to some of the stuff on the radio this is pretty tame

Canada Man: DID THEY SAY LONG ASS RIDE IN THE FIRST VERSE??

Cinnamon Roll Leader: OH MY GOD TURN IT OFF NOW

Snitch Mom: LISTEN TO TAEYONG FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIVES CHINA LINE WE DONT NEED THE TEACHERS KILLING US

Disgusted: It’s kinda catchy I’m digging it

Disgusted: Wait

Disgusted: Oh my god please tell me I’m just mistranslating stuff

Disgusted: This is going from 0 to 100 wtf

Confused: I SAID I NEEDED AN ADULT

Hyuckie: You know what I said about this being tame two seconds ago?

Hyuckie: Holy shit I spoke too soon

Canada Man: TAEYONG WHAT THE FUCK

Canada Man: WHEN AND WHY DID YOU WRITE THIS I CANT UNHEAR IT

Shorty: Bruh Mr. Lee is going to kill ALL OF YOU

Shorty: I personally booked it when the word otaku was used because I’ve listened to enough hoe anthems to know where that was going

Chaotic: Don’t worry guys I disconnected the speaker

Chaotic: It’s gone

Chaotic: And I think only half of the people here are terrified

JaeJae: Why the hell do you have speakers to begin with

Barely Functioning: You never know when you need your portable Bluetooth speakers!!

Barely Functioning: Also fCUK PRINCPPAL SOOMSN CAME RUN

_Barely Functioning, Lee Deadno, and 9 others are offline._

Cinnamon Roll Leader: 

Cinnamon Roll Leader: This is not what I had planned today

_Cinnamon Roll Leader, JaeJae, and 5 others are offline._

Adorable Cutie: Hey I finally got a listen, I really like whiplash lol

Oh daDDY: Wait wtf

Shorty: I’m not even surprised lmao

_Adorable Cutie, Oh daDDY, and 1 other are offline._

1:39  
_Hyuckie, Conspiracy Theories Renjun, and 6 others are online._

Hyuckie: So I was thinking

Hyuckie: Could we have stage names if we wanted to?

Hyuckie: I know three of you guys used them in seventh sense

Canada Man: I don’t really see a problem with that 

Canada Man: Stage names are fun!

Hyuckie: @Cinnamon Roll Leader could you get online

Hyuckie:

Hyuckie: I miss having admin rights

Shorty: Tell me about it

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: No we don’t need y’all to give us shitty nicknames again

Shorty: I don’t want to be called Shorty anymore >:(

Hyuckie: And I just wanted to rename myself Haechan

Canada Man: Haechan?

Canada Man: Like full sun?

Hyuckie: Yeah

Hyuckie: People always called me sunshine when I was younger and it kinda stuck with me

Shorty: Oh that’s why you were Sunshine Child before on this chat and Sunshine Gay on the Hurrigay chat

Hyuckie: Yep!

Canada Man: Haechan’s a nice nickname! I think it’s really cute :)

Hyuckie: Aw thanks!! You too!!

Canada Man:

#### Huang Renjun -> Lee Donghyuck

Huang Renjun: Lmao how you doing 

Lee Donghyuck: AHHHHHHHHHHH

Huang Renjun: That’s what I thought

Lee Donghyuck: I FUCKED UP 

Lee Donghyuck: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

Lee Donghyuck: I DIDNT EVEN THINK TWICE BEFORE SAYING YOU TOO GAHHHHH

Huang Renjun: I mean it’s something people say a lot after being complimented I’m sure you’re not the only one who would make that mistake

Huang Renjun: Still tho good job

Lee Donghyuck: Fuck off

Huang Renjun: So what are you going to do

Lee Donghyuck: I don’t know???

Lee Donghyuck: Play it off as as joke? But I’ve taken so long to say anything I think Mark is going to catch on

Huang Renjun: Oh my fucking god you know he might like you right?

Huang Renjun: You should just go for it

Lee Donghyuck: Hhhhhh but what if he doesn’t like me back

Huang Renjun: Life isn’t fair

Huang Renjun: You’ll move on

Lee Donghyuck: But I’m scared!!

Huang Renjun: And?

Lee Donghyuck: I hate fear sometimes

#### The Hurrigays

_Dancing Gay, Graceful Gay, and 1 other is online._

Dancing Gay: LMFAO DONGHYUCK IM TRYING NOT TO LAUGH THIS IS GOLD

Dancing Gay: LEGIT IM FIVE SECONDS FROM WHEEZING AND THE TEACHER IS LOOKING AT ME LIKE IM SICK

Sunshine Gay: How are you even hiding your phone???

Dancing Gay: I would say but I’m pretty sure a few people here would kill me for being a bad influence

_Rabbit Gay is online._

Rabbit Gay: WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYBODY SPAMMING THE GROUPCHAT WE HAVE C L A S S 

Rabbit Gay: TEN PUT THE DAMN PHONE AWAY OR ELSE IM SNITCHING ON YOU

Dancing Gay: You wouldn’t

Rabbit Gay: BET

_Lowkey Gay is online._

Lowkey Gay: What’s even going on

Graceful Gay: Refer back to the main chat

Lowkey Gay: Aight

Lowkey Gay: OH

Lowkey Gay: LMAO DONGHYUCK YOURE AN IDIOT

Sunshine Gay: HEY FUCK YOU

Graceful Gay: Look let’s just be honest

Graceful Gay: You’re a fucking disaster

Graceful Gay: When are you going to ask him out already? 

Sunshine Gay: shUT

Graceful Gay: Yutaaaaaa @Smiley Gay

_Smiley Gay is online._

Smiley Gay: Sichengieeeeee

Smiley Gay: What’s up

Graceful Gay: How do we get Donghyuck to stop being a disaster and ask Mark out

Graceful Gay: I know I’m not your first boyfriend do you have any good advice?

Smiley Gay: Hm

Smiley Gay: Idk main thing is being genuine and honest

Smiley Gay: Don’t like dance around it I guess? Be straightforward

Smiley Gay: Like when I asked Hansol out sophomore year I just straight up told him I liked him, said why, and asked him out

Smiley Gay: It’s basically what Sicheng did too

Graceful Gay: Yeah it ain’t that hard

Graceful Gay: At least you’re not Taeyong who realized his crush after being told his crush wasn’t interested in him

Sunshine Gay: Yeah that’s a big oof

Sunshine Gay: Y’all are making perfect sense

Sunshine Gay: I’m just too scared help me

Lowkey Gay: WE ARE TRYING TO HELP YOU YA DOPE

Lowkey Gay: WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM US

Sunshine Gay: i dONT KNOW

#### Lee Donghyuck -> Huang Renjun

Lee Donghyuck: Fuck I’ve been getting clowned on by the hurrigay group chat because they want me to confess already

Lee Donghyuck: Everybody is coming after me

Huang Renjun: Oh about the Hurrigay gc

Huang Renjun: I’m not hopelessly pining after anybody but I am gay

Huang Renjun: Could you add me?

Lee Donghyuck: You’re just doing this to get the tea from there aren’t you

Lee Donghyuck: Because for your information you’re not allowed to tell anybody about what happens in that chat

Huang Renjun: I know

Huang Renjun: Sicheng’s told me about the chat before

Huang Renjun: He said it’s like fight club. What happens in fight club stays in fight club.

Huang Renjun: He did tell me multiple people were hopelessly pining in that chat

Lee Donghyuck: He’s right lmao

Lee Donghyuck: Here let me ask them about it

#### The Hurrigays

Sunshine Gay: Renjun’s wondering if he can join the chat

_Graceful Gay has added Huang Renjun to the group chat.  
Huang Renjun has changed his username to Gay and Ready to Fight._

Gay and Ready to Fight: Hello brethren

Lowkey Gay: Greetings fellow gay

Rabbit Gay: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS DONT ADD NEW MEMBERS RIGHT NOW GET BACK TO FUCKING CLASS

#### Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s

_Disaster Bi and Tall Bi are online._

Tall Bi: ;)

Disaster Bi: NO

Disaster Bi: YOU’RE OVERTHINKING IT 

Tall Bi: Really now

Disaster Bi: Yes!!

Tall Bi: Oh my god he thinks you’re cute

Tall Bi: @Chill Bi @Pinkie Bi @Screaming Bi @Actually Pan help me convince Mark to not be an idiot

_Screaming Bi and Actually Pan are online._

Actually Pan: Just going to say it right here, Donghyuck probably likes you and is just as much of a flustered idiot as you are so he won’t confess

Actually Pan: Now if you excuse me, I have class

_Actually Pan is offline._

Screaming Bi: DAMN

Screaming BI: HE FUCKING SNAPPED

Tall Bi: He’s probably speaking the truth though

Tall Bi: Just give up your pining and take a fucking risk dude

Disaster Bi: But we don’t know for sure!!

Screaming Bi: And?

Disaster Bi: I don’t know

Disaster Bi: Fuck you all I’m going back to class

_Disaster Bi is offline._

3:30

#### Lee Taeyong -> Kim Dongyoung

Lee Taeyong: I’m not telling them that I’m in both the bi and gay chats but wow this is something

Kim Dongyoung: I have a feeling that I know what you mean

#### NCT in the House

4:02  
_Cinnamon Roll Leader, Canada Man, and 17 others are offline._

Pwark Jisung: @Oh daDDy and @Shorty where the fuck are you guys

Pwark Jisung: We’ve been waiting for you for 15 minutes now none of you got sick did you?

_Shorty and Oh daDDY are online._

Shorty: Well I’m sorry for inconveniencing y’all BUT WE’VE BEEN STUCK IN THE DRIVE THROUGH AT DAIRY QUEEN FOR 30 MINUTES

Shorty: THE CAR IN FRONT OF US HORRIBLY FUCKED UP THEIR ORDER OR SOMETHING

Shorty: MAYBE THEY GOT 50 ICE CREAMS?? I DON’T KNOW

Oh daDDY: I wanted ice cream and asked Ten if he wanted to come with me

Oh daDDY: We didn’t think it’d take this long

Shorty: I JUST WANT MY BROWNIE DOUGH BLIZZARD PLEASE

Oh daDDY: Yeah this isn’t that fun

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Well we’ll give up you updates about what’s going on at the meeting

Cinnamon Roll Leader: So far we’ve decided that 127 is doing Cherry Bomb, Dream is doing We Go Up, and WayV is still deciding between Moonwalk and Take Off

Cinnamon Roll Leader: We were going to wait for your vote to decide what we’re doing

Shorty: Oh easy Moonwalk for sure

Confused: That was quick

ConfusedForeigner: Aw I wanted to do Take Off

Wholesome Boyfriend: It’s okay we can do it next semester

Wholesome Boyfriend: Probably

Doyoungie: So we got that down

Doyoungie: Now we have to figure out how we’re even performing these

Doyoungie: Like with our concepts and stuff

Hyuckie: Well you see

Hyuckie: What if we did something fun and pink? But also some cool edgy 80’s-90’s inspired outfits and dance

Yaoi on Fire: That

Yaoi on Fire: Actually sounds cool where’d you get the idea

Hyuckie: Hey Jaemin you remember those clothes you and I stole

Hyuckie: You brought your half of the outfits right?

Barely Functioning: You bet!!

Doyoungie: Excuse me what did you steal

Hyuckie: I found some sweet looking outfits while we were trapped in the SM basement and I thought we could use them

Snitch Mom: Oh my god the school’s going to kill us

Hyuckie: Relax!! They’ve probably been in there for so long that the school’s forgotten about them

JaeJae: Going to be honest, I kind of like them though. The one with the fleece looks cool

Oh daDDY: Fuck I actually want to see them now

Oh daDDY: Send pics

Hyuckie: PinkOutfits.jpg

Hyuckie: Btw dibs on the one with the black hat

Oh daDDY: Hey I have an idea

Oh daDDY: If SM thinks these outfits are theirs let’s just say we went thrifting

Doyoungie: JOHNNY NO

Oh daDDY: JOHNNY YES

Shorty: FUCK how are we supposed to top these iconic outfits with Moonwalk

Chaotic: I have an idea

Snitch Mom: Yangyang

Chaotic: It’s pretty simple

Snitch Mom: No

Chaotic: Why don’t we sneak back into the basement and see what other goodies are there

Snitch Mom: I’m sorry but we are not dealing with the bullshit the sophomores put us through getting trapped in the basement

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Yeah please don’t do that

Chaotic: Awwww

Shorty: Hey btw we finally got our ice cream so Johnny is on his way back

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Awesome!! Then we can talk in person about this!

Shorty: Yeah. Be there in five

#### UNDERCLASSMEN UNITE (feat. Mark)

_Liu Yangyang, Mark Lee, and 9 others are online._

Liu Yangyang: So we storming the basement or what

Na Jaemin: Oh we’re storming the basement

Wong Kunhang: I was hoping you’d say that

Xiao Dejun: Are we sure this is a good idea??

Xiao Dejun: We don’t even have a plan

Huang Renjun: Don’t doubt our skills Dejun

Huang Renjun: You see we have a Chenle

Zhong Chenle: How could I help??

Huang Renjun: You steal donuts from the teacher’s lounge and haven’t gotten caught yet. If I remember correctly there is a key on a hook in there that opens up the basement

Zhong Chenle: Oh I see!!

Zhong Chenle: I’ll have the key by our next lunchtime

Park Jisung: Btw just for future reference

Park Jisung: We’re just going to tell the others that we got this stuff from our wardrobe or the store right?

Lee Deadno: Oh I’d hope so

Wong Yukhei: Haha I’m pretty sure Taeyong would kill us if we snuck in the basement again

Liu Yangyang: Sounds like a plan

Liu Yangyang: Chenle let us know when you get the key so we can plan further

Zhong Chenle: Will do! :D

_Liu Yangyang, Zhong Chenle, and 9 others are offline._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, today me and my siblings went to go get ice cream from Dairy Queen and we were stuck in the drive through for over half an hour. It was an interesting experience to say the least.
> 
> Question of the day? What are your favorite groups besides NCT? I personally love Dreamcatcher, (G)-IDLE, DAY6, Stray Kids, Mamamoo, and many more!!
> 
> Edit: I just realized Jungwoo wasn’t part of the group when Cherry Bomb came out. I think I might try drawing him in a Cherry Bomb-esqe outfit (Like one that pairs up with the pink and purple suits from the mv) but no promises.
> 
> Chat names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: Cinnamon Roll Leader  
> Mark: Canada Man  
> Doyoung: Doyoungie  
> Taeil: Dark Side of the Moon Taeil  
> Ten: Shorty  
> Jaehyun: JaeJae  
> Kun: Snitch Mom  
> Yuta: Yaoi on Fire  
> Winwin: Wholesome Boyfriend  
> Haechan: Hyuckie  
> Jungwoo: Adorable Cutie  
> Johnny: Oh daDDY  
> Jaemin: Barely Functioning  
> Jeno: Deadno  
> Renjun: Conspiracy Theories Renjun  
> Chenle: Chen-donut-stealing-le  
> Jisung: Pwark Jisung  
> Lucas: ConfusedForeigner  
> Xiaojun: Confused  
> Hendery: Disgusted  
> Yangyang: Chaotic
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay  
> Taeyong: Just a Disaster  
> Renjun: Gay and Ready to Fight
> 
> Disaster Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi  
> Taeyong: Pinkie Bi


	11. Yukhei Manages to Woo Jungwoo and Then There is Jaeyong...and Markhyuck...and Johnten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee Donghyuck: Are you sure you want to do this though?
> 
> Lee Donghyuck: Taeyong’s going to fucking kill us
> 
> Mark Lee: For once in my life I’m okay with that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a set up chapter for big stuff that’s going to happen. It’s kind of melodramatic at points, but I hope the comedic bits are still funny!

#### UNDERCLASSMEN UNITE (feat Mark)

3:40  
_Na Jaemin, Liu Yangyang, and 8 are online._

Liu Yangyang: Yukhei where the FUCK are you

Liu Yangyang: We’re about to raid the basement why aren’t you here

_Wong Yukhei is online._

Wong Yukhei: Hey sorry I forgot to say I was in the middle of something

Wong Yukhei: Just go without me

Wong Kunhang: Wait what the fuck

Wong Kunhang: Yukhei? With SOMETHING to do after school? That’s totally not suspicious

Wong Yukhei: I’m serious :(

Lee Deadno: Idk something spells fishy

Lee Deadno: What could you be doing that would make you miss out on our basement shenanigans

Wong Yukhei: Oml please

Wong Yukhei: Leave me aloneeeeee

_Wong Yukhei is offline._

Lee Donghyuck: I smell bullshit

Mark Lee: 

Mark Lee: Wait a second

#### The Hurrigays

4:31  
_UwU Gay is online._

UwU Gay: So

UwU Gay: I think Yukhei is interested in me

_Dancing Gay, Smiley Gay, and 7 others are online._

Gay and Ready to Fight: WAIT WHAT

Sunshine Gay: LMAO I WAS ABOUT TO SAY

Smiley Gay: Was wondering when you were going to figure it out

Lowkey Gay: He’s doing a really good job of hiding it though tbh

Lowkey Gay: He didn’t even tell the china line

Just a Disaster: Well to be fair Yukhei’s on the bi chat

Just a Disaster: He uses it how you guys use this

Gay and Ready to Fight: Wait who the fuck are you

Graceful Gay: Oh that’s Taeyong

Gay and Ready to Fight: Why the FUCK is a bi on the gay chat

Just a Disaster: um

Dancing Gay: Well you see

Dancing Gay: Taeyong is a fucking disaster and didn’t realize he wasn’t straight until the day after Yoonoh told him he got over his crush on him

Dancing Gay: He also had this realization through an oreo

Dancing Gay: A fucking oreo

Gay and Ready to Fight: Never mind you can stay

Gay and Ready to Fight: Ya know, after that name changing incident, it seemed like he did have a crush on you though

Gay and Ready to Fight: I think the sarcasm dripping from “Had a crush on Taeyong and ACTUALLY moved on” speaks for itself

Smiley Gay: Oh we’re very aware of it

Smiley Gay: Taeyong’s just too scared to screw up his friendship

Gay and Ready to Fight: I feel like there’s an overarching theme with these crushes

Graceful Gay: Yeah you’re all cowards and too scared to risk your friendships even when it seems like their crush might like them back

Dancing Gay: Wow no need to call me out like that

Sunshine Gay: Look I get it I’m a disaster

UwU Gay: Um

Rabbit Gay: Shit sorry Jungwoo

Rabbit Gay: We kind of derailed the convo what were you going to say

UwU Gay: As I was saying

UwU Gay: Yukhei

UwU Gay: The other day I was practicing my solo in choir after school and when I was leaving he was in the hallway not so smoothly acting like he hadn’t been standing there the entire time

UwU Gay: He started talking to me and gave me an extra chocolate bar “he saved from lunch” because he wasn’t going to eat it

UwU Gay: It was so cute I accepted the chocolate bar and he like turned red and got so excited we ended up walking outside together

Gay and Ready to Fight: THAT’S WHERE HE FUCKING WENT

Lowkey Gay: **What’s this about hM?**

Gay and Ready to Fight: **Nothing I promise**

Rabbit Gay: Awwwww that’s adorable

Graceful Gay: That’s so wholesome oml

Lowkey Gay: He definitely likes you

Lowkey Gay: What are you going to do about it though? Do you like him?

UwU Gay: Honestly he’s really cute

UwU Gay: I’m going to ask him out for coffee this weekend

Rabbit Gay: See you disasters? @Sunshine Gay @Dancing Gay @Just a Disaster

Rabbit Gay: Witness the power of a distinguished gay

Sunshine Gay: I-

Sunshine Gay: You know I’m never going to be as confident gay as Jungwoo

Just a Disaster: I still don’t understand what this whole distinguished gay functional gay nonsense is

Dancing Gay:

Dancing Gay: You know what? Fuck all y’all

Dancing Gay: I’ve been fucking clowned on enough by you guys

Dancing Gay: The worst part is you’re fucking right. I’ve been a fucking idiot 

Dancing Gay: I’ll do it

Dancing Gay: I’ll fucking ask Johnny out

Dancing Gay: Suppressing my feelings? Don’t know her

Dancing Gay: I’ve gone through 2 years of this fucking nonsense and went nowhere with it

Dancing Gay: I need to fucking grow up already

_Dancing Gay is offline._

Gay and Ready to Fight: Okay A) Oh shit he likes Johnny

Gay and Ready to Fight: B) What the fuck

Rabbit Gay: Damn I wasn’t expecting that

Lowkey Gay: Shit is he okay

UwU Gay: Well I’m cheering you on Ten!!

UwU Gay: Good luck with Johnny!

UwU Gay: I guess

Gay and Ready to Fight: Is the chat usually like this?

Graceful Gay: No usually it’s just a lot of screaming about pining

Just a Disaster: Here I’m going to call Ten and ask if he’s alright

Rabbit Gay: Aight

_Just a Disaster, Rabbit Gay, and 7 others are offline._

#### Kim Jungwoo -> Wong Yukhei

4:40

Kim Jungwoo: Hey thanks for that chocolate bar by the way! Caramel filled is my favorite!

Kim Jungwoo: Btw I was wondering if you wanted to hang out at that coffee shop this weekend! Are you free?

Wong Yukhei: That would be awesome!!!

Kim Jungwoo: Yay! Does 1 work for you?

Wong Yukhei: Yep!! I’ll see you then?

Kim Jungwoo: Yeah :D

#### Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s

4:45  
_Screaming Bi is online._

Screaming Bi: JUNGWOO ACCEPTED MY CHOCOLATE BAR

Screaming Bi: AND WE WALKED OUTSIDE TOGETHER

Screaming Bi: AND IT WAS AMAZING HE’S SO CUTE OMLLL

_Pinkie Bi, Chill Bi, and 3 others are online._

Disaster Bi: I knew it

Disaster Bi: There’s literally nothing else you would have ditched us for

Screaming Bi: Yeah sorry about that 

Screaming Bi: Did you guys find anything interesting?

Disaster Bi: We’ll tell you about it later

Pinkie Bi: Excuse me what are you talking about

Disaster Bi: Um

Disaster Bi: Nothing

Actually Pan: Anyways that’s adorable Yukhei

Screaming Bi: You didn’t let me finish

Screaming Bi: HE JUST ASKED ME TO GO GET COFFEE WITH HIM THIS WEEKEND

Disaster Bi: WAIT REALLY

Screaming Bi: YOU BET

Pinkie Bi: Awwwwwwww

Chill Bi: Congrats!

Tall Bi: That’s so cute

Screaming Bi: Thanks guys!!!

Tall Bi: Now we need Mark to ask out Donghyuck already and everything will be just right

Disaster Bi: HHhhhhhhhhh

Pinkie Bi: Come on Mark you should!!

Disaster Bi: But no

Pinkie Bi: Aw come on I’m sure Donghyuck will be cool with it even if he doesn’t feel the same way

Disaster Bi: How can you be sure

Pinkie Bi: It’s Donghyuck

Disaster Bi: You’re right

Disaster Bi: But no I would rather not

Pinkie Bi: Holy jesus you are both hopeless

Disaster Bi: Both?

Pinkie Bi: Um

Pinkie Bi: Yes.

Pinkie Bi: I am currently on the disaster gay groupchat 

Pinkie Bi: and damn there is some pining there too

Chill Bi: Not going to ask who but honestly that sounds about right

Actually Pan: Oh I can already guess who is screaming in that chat

Tall Bi: This might be a weird question

Tall Bi: But why are you on the gay groupchat to begin with?

Pinkie Bi: Um

Pinkie Bi: They put me on there way earlier as the token straight to listen to everybody’s problems

Chill Bi: I thought you told me you weren’t on any of the chats though

Pinkie Bi: Oh

Pinkie Bi: Did I?

Chill Bi: Yeah that’s what you said when wanted me to add Mark to this chat

Pinkie Bi: Um

Actually Pan: Oh my god

Tall Bi: Oh shit

Chill Bi: Wait what

Actually Pan:

Actually Pan: I’m not going to say anything

Pinkie Bi: I probably didn’t think about it at the time don’t worry about it

Chill Bi: Um

Chill Bi: Alright I guess

#### Mark Lee -> Lee Donghyuck

4:58 p.m.

Mark Lee: Hey Hyuckie

Mark Lee: Can you tell me why Taeyong’s on the hurrigay groupchat??

Lee Donghyuck: Oh

Lee Donghyuck: Shit

Lee Donghyuck: Well you see

Mark Lee: Did he get added before he realized he wasn’t straight?

Lee Donghyuck: Um

Lee Donghyuck: No?????

Mark Lee: That’s what I thought

Mark Lee: Wait

Mark Lee: OH MY GOD

Lee Donghyuck: what

Mark Lee: I know we have our rules about keeping stuff in the chats

Mark Lee: But can I break that just this once to ask you a question

Lee Donghyuck: Oh cool I was about to ask you the same thing

Mark Lee: Okay so

Mark Lee: Does Taeyong have a crush on Yoonoh or not????

Lee Donghyuck: HAHA YEP

Lee Donghyuck: Does Yoonoh like Taeyong??

Mark Lee: HES LIKED HIM FOR A WHILE NOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA

Lee Donghyuck: So you’re telling me these two are hopelessly pining and are too stubborn to think their crushes might like them back

Mark Lee: Basically

Lee Donghyuck: Jeez that makes a lot more sense

Mark Lee: Yeah

Mark Lee: I really hope one of them finally confesses because I don’t want to see them pining anymore

Lee Donghyuck: You have to understand though

Lee Donghyuck: Taeyong thinks Yoonoh moved on

Mark Lee: And Yoonoh doesn’t think he has a chance with Taeyong because he told him he moved on

Lee Donghyuck: Fuck this is a mess

Mark Lee: Yeah

Lee Donghyuck: You know what?

Lee Donghyuck: I have an idea

Mark Lee: Are you thinking of what I’m thinking

Lee Donghyuck: Probably

Lee Donghyuck: Does it involve the basement

Mark Lee: What else could it be?

Mark Lee: After finding the other rooms in that basement and that Chenle’s key locks them too, I’m sure we can figure something out

Lee Donghyuck: Are you sure you want to do this though?

Lee Donghyuck: Taeyong’s going to fucking kill us

Mark Lee: For once in my life I’m okay with that

#### UNDERCLASSMEN UNITE (feat Mark)

5:03 p.m.  
_Lee Donghyuck, Mark Lee, and 9 others are online._

Lee Donghyuck: Chenle you never put that key back right

Zhong Chenle: No I still have it

Lee Donghyuck: Could I use it tomorrow?

Lee Donghyuck: I have some very important business to attend to tomorrow

Xiao Dejun: What would you do with it??

Xiao Dejun: Why would you use it alone?

Mark Lee: Trust me

Mark Lee: It’s important

Huang Renjun: Hm

Huang Renjun: If Mark is with him I’d say it’s fine

Huang Renjun: But you better fucking tell us what’s up afterwards because our key is important

Lee Donghyuck: Will do ;)

Lee Deadno: Oh god Donghyuck using a winky face scares me

#### Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul -> John Suh

3:31 a.m.

_Missed call.  
Missed call.  
Missed call._

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: Hey I know it’s late and you’re probably asleep

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: But I’ve had a massive crush on you for two years and have been trying to have the guts to confess to you for the longest time and I realized the only way I could do that would be me being sleep deprived

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: You’re really cute, and just a really cool person. You’re super funny and know just what to say to brighten up a situation with your Johnny sort of flare. Honestly I don’t have much else to say except I hope you like me back, and if you don’t it’s okay and I hope we can still stay friends.

#### NCT in the House

3:50 a.m.  
_Barely Functioning and Shorty are online._

Barely Functioning: I was about to make a joke about finding a new source of caffeine through soda while I have no coffee but Ten why the fuck are you online?

Shorty:

Shorty: Something has just been on my mind I guess?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is that you see in the distance? Relationship drama? Oh boy you don’t even know.
> 
> Question of the day? Who is your bias in NCT? I am quadruple biased with Doyoung, Ten, Jungwoo, and Johnny and have 17 bias wreckers on the side.
> 
> Chat names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: Cinnamon Roll Leader  
> Mark: Canada Man  
> Doyoung: Doyoungie  
> Taeil: Dark Side of the Moon Taeil  
> Ten: Shorty  
> Jaehyun: JaeJae  
> Kun: Snitch Mom  
> Yuta: Yaoi on Fire  
> Winwin: Wholesome Boyfriend  
> Haechan: Hyuckie  
> Jungwoo: Adorable Cutie  
> Johnny: Oh daDDY  
> Jaemin: Barely Functioning  
> Jeno: Deadno  
> Renjun: Conspiracy Theories Renjun  
> Chenle: Chen-donut-stealing-le  
> Jisung: Pwark Jisung  
> Lucas: ConfusedForeigner  
> Xiaojun: Confused  
> Hendery: Disgusted  
> Yangyang: Chaotic
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay  
> Taeyong: Just a Disaster  
> Renjun: Gay and Ready to Fight
> 
> Disaster Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi  
> Taeyong: Pinkie Bi


	12. Johnny and Ten are Dorks and Soccer Shenanigans Go Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a Disaster: Ten actually did it
> 
> Rabbit Gay: We’re supposed to be in class right now but
> 
> Rabbit Gay: Did what?
> 
> Just a Disaster: Confessed to Johnny
> 
> Lowkey Gay: OH SHIT THAT’S WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT
> 
> Just a Disaster: Yeah remember when I called him the other day?
> 
> Rabbit Gay: Don’t tell me
> 
> Just a Disaster: He stayed up late because he said wouldn’t have been able to confess otherwise
> 
> Rabbit Gay: And you didn’t stop him?
> 
> Just a Disaster: 
> 
> Just a Disaster: No?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for 300+ kudos!!! Your comments also really help with me stay motivated to write this story. I’m really happy about your guys’ enjoyment! Know that if you’ve commented more than once, I have definitely noticed and sincerely appreciate it!

#### Mark Lee -> Lee Taeyong

8:05 a.m.

Mark Lee: Hey Taeyong do you mind if we stay later after school?

Mark Lee: I want to watch the soccer game tonight so I can cheer on Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun

Lee Taeyong: And you can’t get a ride?

Mark Lee: No I asked and I couldn’t get a ride home

Lee Taeyong: Alright we can stay

Lee Taeyong: I’ll see if some of the others want to come

Mark Lee: Awesome!! The more the merrier!

#### The Responsible Ones

8:11 a.m.  
_Johnny is online._

Johnny: Hey do any of you know where Ten is

Johnny: I told him I wanted to talk in person about something but I don’t think he’s reading my texts

_Taeyong, Taeil, and 2 others are online._

Taeil: Idk

Taeil: He isn’t in class rn

Taeil: He’s not usually the type to skip either though

Kun: I saw him passed out in the library

Kun: I don’t think he slept well last night

Dongyoung: Well no shit he was on the groupchat at 3 in the morning

Johnny: Well if he doesn’t read my texts and any of you see him at lunch, tell him I’m waiting over behind the school

_Johnny is offline._

Taeil: Oh god what did Ten do this time

#### The Hurrigays

Just a Disaster: Ten actually did it

Rabbit Gay: We’re supposed to be in class right now but

Rabbit Gay: Did what?

Just a Disaster: Confessed to Johnny

Lowkey Gay: OH SHIT THAT’S WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT

Just a Disaster: Yeah remember when I called him the other day?

Rabbit Gay: Don’t tell me

Just a Disaster: He stayed up late because he said wouldn’t have been able to confess otherwise

Rabbit Gay: And you didn’t stop him?

Just a Disaster: 

Just a Disaster: No?

Rabbit Gay: Ffs

Rabbit Gay: There are plenty of other ways he could have done it

Rabbit Gay: and Kun you said he was sleeping in the library?

Lowkey Gay: Yep

Rabbit Gay: Well

Rabbit Gay: Ten if you’re not up by the time the lunch bell rings I’m going over there and waking you up myself

Rabbit Gay: Johnny wants to see you behind the school during lunch don’t keep him waiting

Rabbit Gay: Anyways I better get back to class I think the teacher is catching on to me

_Rabbit Gay is offline._

Lowkey Gay: I fully expect this chat to be blowing up in 30 minutes when first block gets out

Lowkey Gay: Because I’m pretty sure everybody else has either Mrs. Park or Mr. Min rn and both of them are strict af

Lowkey Gay: So let’s book it while we’re at it

Just a Disaster: Don’t worry my notifs are turned off

_Lowkey Gay and Just a Disaster are offline._

8:41 a.m.

_Smiley Gay, UwU Gay, and 3 others are online._

Smiley Gay: OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING

Smiley Gay: JOHNTEN IS HAPPENING THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Gay and Ready to Fight: YO WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

Sunshine Gay: WAIT TEN ACTUALLY DID IT???

UwU Gay: Good job Ten!!!

Graceful Gay: @Dancing Gay get the fuck up and let us be proud of you for finally confessing

Graceful Gay: @Dancing Gay @Dancing Gay @Dancing Gay

Graceful Gay:

Graceful Gay: Yuta could you help me out

Smiley Gay: @Dancing Gay @Dancing Gay @Dancing Gay @Dancing Gay

Smiley Gay: @Dancing Gay CHITTAPHON 

Smiley Gay: @Dancing Gay MOTHER FUCKING 

Smiley Gay: @Dancing Gay LEECHAIYAPORNKUL 

Smiley Gay: @Dancing Gay GET UP 

Smiley Gay: @Dancing Gay AND LISTEN 

Smiley Gay: @Dancing Gay TO WHAT 

Smiley Gay: @Dancing Gay WE HAVE 

Smiley Day: @Dancing Gay TO SAY

_Dancing Gay is online._

Dancing Gay: What

Dancing Gay: The

Dancing Gay: Fuck

Dancing Gay: I’m offline for one morning and this is what happens?

Graceful Gay: Read all of your text messages bitch

Dancing Gay:

Dancing Gay: Oh wait 

Sunshine Gay: So what did Johnny say????

Dancing Gay: Well

Dancing Gay: He just told me to meet him behind the school at lunch since he couldn’t find me before class

Dancing Gay: Not much else

Dancing Gay: I don’t know what this means and I’m scared

Graceful Gay: Good luck

UwU Gay: I think this is looking good for you!!

Gay and Ready to Fight: Meeting behind the school? This sounds like some cheesy k-drama shit

Gay and Ready to Fight: I hope you’re wide awake and fully processing what’s going for lunch because you’re going to need it

Dancing Gay: Wait a second I slept through history didn’t I?

Smiley Gay: Yes

Smiley Gay: Yes you did

Graceful Gay: Mrs. Park is going to fucking murder you btw

Dancing Gay: Fuck

Dancing Gay: At least I have gym class next and I can probably pull a Jaemin and take a nap in the sports closet

Graceful Gay: Usually I would say be somewhat responsible and not do that

Graceful Gay: But fuck it Dongyoung, Taeyong, and Kun aren’t here right now what can they do

Graceful Gay: Go take your nap

Dancing Gay: Aight

Dancing Gay: See ya guys

_Dancing Gay is offline._

#### NCT in the House

11:45

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Hey anybody want to hang out at the soccer game tonight?

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Mark doesn’t have a ride home so I was going to stay with him

JaeJae: Why not? I don’t have anything better to do

Doyoungie: I don’t have any plans

Doyoungie: Sure

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: Sounds fun

Snitch Mom: An outing with the responsible people of this chat? I’m down

Yaoi on Fire: I’ll come with too. I heard the snacks will be good this time around

Wholesome Boyfriend: Why not? :) I’ll stop by

Disgusted: In case you didn’t know, china line is already coming to cheer y’all on

Disgusted: It would be quite rude not to appear

Confused: Exactly

Pwark Jisung: I guess everybody is going then lol?

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Sounds about right

JaeJae: Hey btw where are Johnny and Ten?

JaeJae: They haven’t shown up for lunch yet

Doyoungie:

Yaoi on Fire: Well you see

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Here I’ll explain let me dm you

JaeJae: Oh ok

JaeJae: I just remember Johnny was looking for Ten this morning just wondering

#### China Line Domination

China Maknae: **Renjun what’s the tea**

Prince Eric: **Yeah something’s up**

Tea Spiller: **Classified information**

MUSICALITY: **Wait really??**

Xiao Yang: **Renjun withdrawing information? Wasn’t expecting that**

Single Mom: **You see Renjun doesn’t have a death wish**

Single Mom: **Right Renjun? :)**

Tea Spiller: **Yep!**

Wenzhou Man: **Good**

~

“Oh, Ten, there you are!”

Ten had just turned around the corner of the outside wall to see Johnny waiting a couple feet away, eating an apple. At first glance, one would have figured this was as casual a meeting could have gotten, but Ten could tell otherwise. Johnny’s grip on the apple was tense, and his posture was subtly more rigid than normal. 

“Hey, Johnny,” Ten yawned and stretched holding his lunch bag in his hands. “What’s up?”

Johnny shrugged, rolling his eyes. “Not much I guess.” His gaze failed to meet with Ten’s eyes. “You still tired? Kun told me you were sleeping in the library.”

“Yeah,” quickly answered Ten. “I slept through gym class though, which I guess helped a lot. I promise I won’t stay up that late again, haha,” he anxiously giggled. A couple beads of sweat began to form on Ten’s forehead as he knew what was coming next. Butterflies collected in his stomach, wanting to make him cringe and run away. However, he stayed because rationally there was not a good reason to just leave.

“So about that text you sent me last night,” Johnny started, his tone growing softer. “Do you really feel that way about me?”

Ten could do a lot of things. He could just lie and say somebody had dared him to do it. He could just say it was a mistake and that his sister stole his phone to prank him. A voice in his head wanted to deny his feelings so badly, and he was so close to doing it.

“Yeah.”

But only that simple word left his mouth.

Johnny sat on the concrete bench that lined the back of the school and offered a seat next to him. The two sat together, making awkward eye contact before shifting their focus on the world in front of them.

“Look, Johnny, I know I shouldn’t have said what I did because I know that could have fucked up our friendship, but I’ll just be honest. I don’t think I could have hidden it anymore. I was worried that if I didn’t tell you what was really up, that could have affected our friendship in a different way.”

“I never really thought you felt that way about me,” Johnny continued, looking into his remaining apple. “I’m sorry. I would have said something so much sooner if I could tell.”

Ten perked up at that statement. “Said something?”

A little laugh emanated from Johnny as he locked eyes with Ten, a smile on his face. “Ten, I hope you realize that I like you too.”

“You-“

“Last year. I was watching you all perform 7th Sense.” He leaned back against the wall. “Everybody did great the whole time, but I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. I thought it was just your dancing for a while. But then I remembered looking out for you for other things, and towards the beginning of the new school year, I realized why.” Ten could have sworn Johnny’s faced turned a little shade of pink. “Like I said, I didn’t really say anything because I didn’t think you liked me like that. So I just tried getting over it by acting like it wasn’t there. I never even told the bi’s.”

“That’s a mood,” added Ten. “I can sort of relate to that.”

“Honestly looking back, it wasn’t a good idea. Kind of just stuffing away your feelings and acting like they aren’t there doesn’t really solve anything. It was really stupid the more I think about it.”

“Aw, don’t beat yourself up.” Ten wrapped an arm around Johnny’s shoulder and let his head rest there. “It’s okay we were both a little dumb. How about we agree to not be secretive idiots and just say how we’re feeling?”

Johnny reciprocated Ten’s actions by resting his hand on Ten’s shoulder and warmly smiled. “I think I’d like that.”

“So... are we official?”

While there was no verbal response, Ten could feel a little peck on the cheek, causing his face to flush.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

#### NCT in the House

12:11

_Oh daDDY and Shorty are online._

Oh daDDY: Taeyong can I have admin rights

_Cinnamon Roll Leader has given Oh daDDY admin rights._  
_Oh daDDY has changed his username to Tol Boyfriend.  
Oh daDDY has changed Shorty’s username to Smol Boyfriend._

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: Knew it

JaeJae: Holy shit congrats!!

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Yay I’m glad things worked out!! :)

Adorable Cutie: Yeah!!!

Wholesome Boyfriend: Ten you have graduated from being a disaster gay

Canada Man: 

Canada Man: Wait when did this happen???

ConfusedForeigner: JOHNNY YOU NEVER TOLD THE BI’S IM BETRAYED

Pwark Jisung: Huh what the fuck

Chen-donut-stealing-le: RENJUN THIS WAS THE TEA WASN’T IT

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Oh yeah

Tol Boyfriend: YOU FUCKER YOU DIDNT ACTUALLY SAY ANYTHING IN THE CHINA LINE GROUPCHAT DID YOU

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: OH HELL NO I VALUE MY LIFE THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Confused: HOLY HECK WHAT DID I MISS

Barely Functioning: A fucking lot

Chaotic: So the dad of the group is now dating Ten?

Chaotic: Ten is actually now our gay uncle that doesn’t give a fuck

Smol Boyfriend: I am honored to have that title

Smol Boyfriend: Btw me and Johnny are def coming to that soccer game tonight :)

Yaoi on Fire: Awwww is this a first date

Tol Boyfriend: Kind of!

Hyuckie: This is so wholesome can we get 50 likes

Snitch Mom: Perish

Hyuckie: :(

Pwark Jisung: Oh shit that’s the bell

Smol Boyfriend: FUCK I haven’t eaten yet

Tol Boyfriend: FUCK I’ve only eaten an apple

Doyoungie: What the fuck you two

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: Honestly what did we even expect

~

7:23 p.m.

Taeyong knew that his voice was going to be dead the next day, but he didn’t really care.

Sitting in the little pocket of seats where NCT sat, all he could hear was incessant cheering for Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun to give it their all. Taeyong was pretty sure the people around them thought they were crazy.

“THERE YOU GO JAEMIN KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE BALL!” yelled Jisung.

“THAT’S RIGHT RENJUN STAY ON THAT GUY DON’T LET HIM PASS YOU!” screamed Yangyang.

“SHOOT THE BALL JENO, SHOOT THE BALL!!!” screeched Chenle at the top of his lungs.

At the sight of Jeno successfully kicking the soccer ball into the enemy goal, a cacophony of noise filled Taeyong’s ears, nearly prompting him to flinch and cover his ears. Even the players on the field couldn’t help but look up at the bleachers to identify where the fiery cheers came from.

This energy had not died down until half time, where everybody had gotten up to go to the restroom and buy concessions. Taeyong was about to go in line to purchase a soft pretzel, but he was stopped by Mark.

“Hey, Taeyong,” the younger of the two greeted a bit rushed and giggly. He suddenly pointed towards the nearby side entrance of the school. “There’s something you need to see that’s inside! Follow me!” Mark suddenly came running into the school, causing Taeyong to sprint after him confused and concerned.

“Mark? What’s going on?” questioned the elder cousin. “Quit running!”

Mark didn’t listen to him though, keeping his quick pace even when they went inside. There were very few people in the school, mainly people in line to the restroom, and his pace seemed to slow down around them. Eventually, much farther down the maze of hallways to where no soul tread, they were right next to the basement door.

“Hey, what’s going-“ Taeyong’s words were interrupted by Mark rapidly knocking on the door while gesturing for him to come closer.

“Hyuck, NOW!”

In a flash, the door opened and Donghyuck came rushing out, him pulling Taeyong through the opening and Mark pushing him through. The door closed behind them, and pretty soon Taeyong was being forced down the stairs by the two sophomores.

“Let go of me! What are you two doing?” frantically asked the senior who kept struggling against them. “We could get into so much trouble being down here! How did you even unlock the door?”

Nobody answered. Instead, the moment they got the bottom of the stairs, they managed to drag Taeyong near a door. Donghyuck suddenly pulled out a key in one hand and unlocked it, opening it as quickly as possible. A split second later, Taeyong was pushed in the room, and the door was closed again, a familiar clicking sound playing right after.

“Hey, did you guys lock me in?! Let me out! This isn’t funny guys!” Taeyong banged at the door, trying to free himself, but there was only giggling.

Donghyuck’s muffled voice could be heard through the door. “You two will have to figure out your feelings then! We’ll check up on you guys sooner or later!”

“Wait two?” Taeyong could hear them running away before they could answer.

“Taeyong?”

Taeyong turned around to see person who called out his name, but he already knew who the person was. He knew that deep voice from anywhere.

“Yoonoh?”

Yoonoh nodded and rolled his eyes. “It’s the oreo incident all over again.”

Taeyong quietly snickered at the statement. “No wonder this whole situation feels familiar. Being trapped in a room in the basement? No wonder I’m getting a sense of deja vu.” He looked around in the basement room, seeing how mostly filled with stacked old chairs and a table. Overall, there was not a lot to take in besides the fact he and Yoonoh were locked in.

“So,” Yoonoh offhandedly said, “what do we do now?”

Taeyong sat down next to Yoonoh and shrugged. “Don’t know. I guess just talk a little bit? Our cell service is to sucky to try contacting the others.”

But then he remembered what Donghyuck had said.

“Wait what did he mean we had to figure out our feelings?“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Locking your cousin and his crush in the school basement is a bad idea, but I don’t think Mark and Donghyuck realize that. Friends, don’t lock your family members and their crushes in a basement to try to get them to confess.
> 
> Question of the day? What are your predictions for Punch?
> 
> Chat names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: Cinnamon Roll Leader  
> Mark: Canada Man  
> Doyoung: Doyoungie  
> Taeil: Dark Side of the Moon Taeil  
> Ten: Smol Boyfriend  
> Jaehyun: JaeJae  
> Kun: Snitch Mom  
> Yuta: Yaoi on Fire  
> Winwin: Wholesome Boyfriend  
> Haechan: Hyuckie  
> Jungwoo: Adorable Cutie  
> Johnny: Tol Boyfriend  
> Jaemin: Barely Functioning  
> Jeno: Deadno  
> Renjun: Conspiracy Theories Renjun  
> Chenle: Chen-donut-stealing-le  
> Jisung: Pwark Jisung  
> Lucas: ConfusedForeigner  
> Xiaojun: Confused  
> Hendery: Disgusted  
> Yangyang: Chaotic
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay  
> Taeyong: Just a Disaster  
> Renjun: Gay and Ready to Fight
> 
> Disaster Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi  
> Taeyong: Pinkie Bi


	13. Jaeyong Get Their Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee Taeyong: Make Mark’s car ride hell for me
> 
> Lee Taeyong: I want him to be a changed person when I get home
> 
> Kim Dongyoung: Will do
> 
> Kim Dongyoung: Vroom vroom talkshow is coming back you don’t even have to worry about it
> 
> Lee Taeyong: Perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ay it’s been a week and school is finally over. YAY!!!
> 
> I know this chapter is kind of short, but I didn’t find a way to prolong the conversation in a way I liked. Luwoo fans, don’t worry! Their date is coming next chapter!! Shenanigans fans, also don’t worry! I have lots of fun stuff ready for future chapters, including the return of a certain mystery man. :)
> 
> Lastly, and most importantly, SOME MANDELA EFFECT SHIT HAPPENED TO ME BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN SPELLING CHITTAPHON WRONG FOR MONTHS NOW. I always read and sounded out his name as Chittapon because I legit never saw the h after the p. It’s like the Berenstain Bears all over again. (I also remembered it as Berenstein for those who were wondering.) For anybody that’s still reading this that have been wanting to scream at me for the spelling error, holy hell I am sorry. I’ll go through all the chapters and fix it by the time the next chapter is up.

7:45 p.m.

The chaotic squad was cheering again at the soccer game, already scaring passerby. It was the same as before the game, and Taeil had stopped yelling long before halftime because he refused to risk damaging his voice.

Looking around at the spectacle, the eldest of NCT noticed that there were less people than before. First of all, Yoonoh was gone, which while suspicious, could have been excused as him needing a break from the loud noise. However, the fact that Taeyong was also gone raised a few flags because not in a million years would that proud mom miss out on being there for his friends.

 _Maybe they’re finally getting together_ , thought Taeil to the side trying to come up with answers to this occurrence. After all, their feelings for each other are so obvious one of them HAD to have caught on about now, right?

With that, Taeil got his phone out and started texting.

#### Moon Taeil -> Lee Taeyong

7:46 p.m.

Moon Taeil: Hey where are you

Moon Taeil: You’re missing out on the game

_Missed call._

Moon Taeil: Okay seriously though I don’t know if I should be concerned

Moon Taeil: @Lee Taeyong you’re not dead are you

Moon Taeil:

Moon Taeil: What the fuck is going on

#### Moon Taeil -> Jung Yoonoh

Moon Taeil: Hey did you finally confess to Taeyong or something

Moon Taeil: Because I have no idea where you two are

Moon Taeil: And there is no way in hell both of you lost your phones

_Missed call.  
Missed call.  
Missed call._

Moon Taeil: W e l l

Moon Taeil: If you see this please message me

Something was very wrong, and Taeil knew it. He got up and moved from the bleachers, sparking Dongyoung’s attention.

“Hey is everything alright?” he asked shouting within the sea of screams and cheers. 

Taeil shook his head. “Taeyong and Yoonoh are missing and aren’t answering their phones.”

With that, Dongyoung joined Taeil. “That’s not good. Honestly, they’re probably fine, but it’s better safe than sorry to check.”

They could see Mark and Donghyuck suddenly getting up from the other side of the row and to run off much to the two upperclassmen’s curiosity.

Taeil shrugged. “Maybe they’re looking for Taeyong too?” Though Doyoung shook his head to this idea.

“Then why were they smiling like dumb idiots?”

The duo of sophomores ran out of sight before Taeil and Dongyoung could even try following them.

~

About ten minutes later, Taeyong and Yoonoh were walking back to the bleachers, the former nervously giggling with his face rosy pink, the latter radiating a soft and wholesome energy yet having this knowing smirk.

‘Where have you been?” Dongyoung pointedly asked.

Taeil’s eyes narrowed at the two. “Yeah, you haven’t been responding to my text messages. I was starting to get a little worried.”

“Sorry, my phone was on mute. Didn’t see your messages.” Yoonoh’s warmly smiled and chuckled to himself in a way so forced that Taeil could see through the facade.  
“What really happened?”

Taeyong waves his hands in front of him and smiled. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll tell you later.”

Dongyoung tilted his head to the side in thought, but shrugged. “Fine. Whatever.”

Immediately, Yoonoh got out his phone and started texting.

_Jung Yoonoh has created a new group chat.  
Jung Yoonoh has changed the group chat name to Upperclassmen Vibes.  
Jung Yoonoh has added Lee Taeyong, Moon Taeil, and 7 others to the group chat._

Jung Yoonoh: Aight everybody I’ll explain more later but me and Taeyong are dating now but also trying to get back at all the damn underclassmen especially Mark and Donghyuck

Jung Yoonoh: We’re going to be disgustingly soft and cute probably. It’s going to be your job to fuck with the younglings by convincing them all we’re just really good friends despite suddenly becoming closer

Qian Kun: 

Qian Kun: The fuck?

Nakamoto Yuta: WAIT A SECOND ONE THING AT A TIME

Nakamoto Yuta: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

Lee Taeyong: What do you mean

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: What he means my good sir

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: IS WHEN THE FUCK DID ANY OF YOU TWO HAVE THE GUTS TO CONFESS TO EACH OTHER

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: I THINK E V E R Y B O D Y IN THIS GROUPCHAT HAS HAD TO LISTEN TO YOUR HOPELESS PINING FOR EACH OTHER AT LEAST ONCE

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: LAST I HEARD NEITHER OF YOU THOUGHT THE OTHER LIKED YOU BECAUSE TAEYONG THOUGHT YOONOH MOVED ON AND YOONOH THOUGHT THAT TAEYONG THOUGHT THAT YOONOH WASN’T INTERESTED

Dong Sicheng: Okay yeah I’m with Ten on this one

Dong Sicheng: This came out of nowhere like wtf

Lee Taeyong: A certain cousin of mine decided to play matchmaker with his best friend

Lee Taeyong: By locking us in a room in the basement

Kim Dongyoung: Oml of course they thought that was a good idea

Kim Jungwoo: And that worked???

Kim Jungwoo: Idk I feel like just locking two people in the basement with no context doesn’t seem very effective

Jung Yoonoh: You’re completely right

Jung Yoonoh: Except Donghyuck made it damn obvious when he said we needed to figure out our feelings or something like that and Tae spilled 

Jung Yoonoh: Which by the way, it NEVER occurred to me I was your gay awakening I am so sorry

Lee Taeyong: It’s fine don’t worry about it!!

John Suh: Yo how did the confession even go

John Suh: Like what did you guys say and everything

Lee Taeyong: CLASSIFIED INFORMATION

John Suh: But the juicy details are the best part

Jung Yoonoh: No

Lee Taeyong: By the way if you’re wondering where Mark and Donghyuck are, they’re stuck in the basement for the rest of the game

Lee Taeyong: I have the key to make sure of that :)

Qian Kun: Jesus Christ Taeyong with a murderous smiley face

Qian Kun: How you doing buddy

Lee Taeyong: Oh I’m pissed at those two

Lee Taeyong: But we’re not focusing on that right now ;)

Qian Kun: Lovely

Nakamoto Yuta: Anyways operation just guys being pals is a go?

Nakamoto Yuta: I guess??

Jung Yoonoh: Yeah

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul: Sounds cool

Moon Taeil:

Moon Taeil: Why do I feel like things around about to go horribly wrong

#### NCT in the House

8:36 p.m.  
_Chen-donut-stealing-le, Pwark Jisung, and 17 others are online._

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Good job at the game guys! You killed it

Disgusted: LMFAO Jeno looked ready to yeet that one asshole off the field after he pushed down Jaemin

Chaotic: Yeah he was holy shit

Chaotic: Note to self Angry Jeno is terrifying

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Of course he is you forget the guy works out

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: He’s a STRONG BOI

Lee Deadno: Oh my fuck can we move on from that

Lee Deadno: PleaSE

Barely Functioning: No

Lee Deadno: Well fuck idk what to say to that

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Just take the damn compliment

Lee Deadno: Fine

JaeJae: Hey I’m down for some ice cream now

JaeJae: Tae, you want to come with?

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Of course :)

Cinnamon Roll Leader: I found a ride for Mark as well let me go find him :))))))

ConfusedForeigner: Wait where ARE Mark and Donghyuck?

Cinnamon Roll Leader: No need to worry about that :)

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Oh fuck wait a second

Chen-donut-stealing-le:

#### UNDERCLASSMEN UNITE (feat. Mark)

Zhong Chenle: WHAT DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DO YOURE LOCKED IN THE BASEMENT ARENT YOU

Zhong Chenle: THAT’S WHY NONE OF YOU ARE ONLINE RIGHT

Huang Renjun: You idiots fucked up

Huang Renjun: AND you managed to piss off Taeyong

Huang Renjun: I don’t even know what you did but I almost feel bad for you

Park Jisung: What did they even do I’m confused

Xiao Dejun: Well Taeyong and Yoonoh were gone after halftime for like 20ish minutes before Mark and Donghyuck left and never came back

Wong Yukhei: WAIT SO YOURE TELLING ME THAT THEY WERE TRYING TO GET TAEYONG AND YOONOH TOGETHER??

Liu Yangyang: I FUCKING KNEW IT I COULD TELL THOSE IDIOTS WERE PINING FOR EACH OTHER

Liu Yangyang: PRETTY SURE IT WORKED TOO BECAUSE THOSE TWO WERE SOFT AS FUCK THE REST OF THE GAME

Wong Kunhang: BRUH I WAS ABOUT TO MENTION THEIR HAND HOLDING

Lee Jeno: Aw that sounds really cute

Lee Jeno: I feel like compared to the other couples in our group they are super goals

Wong Yukhei: They honestly are :D

Wong Yukhei: I’ll have to ask the bi’s about it to confirm

#### Lee Taeyong -> Kim Dongyoung

Lee Taeyong: Make Mark’s car ride hell for me

Lee Taeyong: I want him to be a changed person when I get home

Kim Dongyoung: Will do

Kim Dongyoung: Vroom vroom talkshow is coming back you don’t even have to worry about it

Lee Taeyong: Perfect

Lee Taeyong: I’ll give you the key to let them out

Lee Taeyong: As an fyi have at least Taeil come with you so they don’t attack you and steal it again

Kim Dongyoung: Cool

Kim Dongyoung: Have fun on your date! ;)

Lee Taeyong: Thanks!! :D

#### NCT in the House

8:40  
_Canada Man, Hyuckie, and 7 others are online._

Canada Man: MAKE IT STOP

Canada Man: PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

Hyuckie: Oh no what’s happening

Canada Man: When Dongyoung said he was taking me home I was expecting him being too drained from everybody’s energy at the game to say much

Canada Man: I WASN’T EXPECTING HIM TO BRING BACK VROOM VROOM TALK SHOW SOMEBODY HELP ME

Canada Man: I DON’T HAVE THE REST OF YOU TO CONSTANTLY INTERRUPT HIM LIKE WE DID LAST YEAR

Adorable Cutie: Wait what are you talking about?

Smol Boyfriend: Oh 

Smol Boyfriend: Last year on a drive together when the squad was just me, Taeyong, Yoonoh, Dongyoung, Mark, Taeil, Kun, and Hansol, Dongyoung had this thing where he got out this obnoxious green and blue fake microphone and tried having a talk show

Smol Boyfriend: We always interrupted him before he could say anything

Yaoi on Fire: Oh my god that’s what Hansol was talking about

Canada Man: FUCKING HELP ME

Snitch Mom: You’re on your own bucko

Smol Boyfriend: Bucko.

Snitch Mom: Leave me the fuck alone

Dark Side of Moon Taeil: Ah I miss Hansol :(

Dark Side of Moon Taeil: It’s weird with him being the only one gone

Snitch Mom: I get that

Snitch Mom: He said he’ll come by and watch our performances though

Snitch Mom: He’s gonna have a stroke when he sees there are 21 members

Chaotic: Excuse me but who the fuck is Hansol please explain

Snitch Mom: Oh right you’re new this year

Yaoi on Fire: Hansol was one of the OG members of NCT but since he was the only senior he had to leave for college

Hyuckie: Didn’t you also say you dated him?

Yaoi on Fire: Oh

Yaoi on Fire: Yeah I did

Yaoi on Fire: Before you ask, no we didn’t have a bad breakup or any interesting “tea”

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Damnit

Canada Man: Look I know we love talking about Hansol and everything

Canada Man: BUT I AM THE ONE THAT NEEDS HELP

Canada Man: PLEASE I AM GOING TO DIE IF I HAVE TO HEAR MORE OF THIS

Dark Side of Moon Taeil: No

Smol Boyfriend: @Cinnamon Roll Leader mute the chat so Mark can’t scream in this chat as an escape

Canada Man: WTF TAEYONG PLEASE NO

_Cinnamon Roll Leader is online.  
Cinnamon Roll Leader has muted the chat for 30 minutes. Reason: I am usually against muting chats but I will make an exception today._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think that Hyuck is getting off easy compared to Mark, just wait. You haven’t seen the worst of it yet.
> 
> Question of the day? What’s your favorite NCT song?
> 
> If you want, try taking a guess at mine! Here’s a clue. It’s not a super talked about song nowadays, but it does have a full MV.
> 
> Chat names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: Cinnamon Roll Leader  
> Mark: Canada Man  
> Doyoung: Doyoungie  
> Taeil: Dark Side of the Moon Taeil  
> Ten: Smol Boyfriend  
> Jaehyun: JaeJae  
> Kun: Snitch Mom  
> Yuta: Yaoi on Fire  
> Winwin: Wholesome Boyfriend  
> Haechan: Hyuckie  
> Jungwoo: Adorable Cutie  
> Johnny: Tol Boyfriend  
> Jaemin: Barely Functioning  
> Jeno: Deadno  
> Renjun: Conspiracy Theories Renjun  
> Chenle: Chen-donut-stealing-le  
> Jisung: Pwark Jisung  
> Lucas: ConfusedForeigner  
> Xiaojun: Confused  
> Hendery: Disgusted  
> Yangyang: Chaotic
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay  
> Taeyong: Just a Disaster  
> Renjun: Gay and Ready to Fight
> 
> Disaster Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi  
> Taeyong: Pinkie Bi


	14. Probably the Most Family Friendly This Fic is Going to Get

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pwark Jisung: AW heck NO
> 
> Smol Boyfriend: What the firetruck is this
> 
> Smol Boyfriend: Also how dare you remove admin rights from Johnny the only thing he did was change our names so they were matching
> 
> Smol Boyfriend: Wait
> 
> Smol Boyfriend: Firetruck
> 
> Smol Boyfriend: Firetrucking piece of garbage son of a bee sting
> 
> Smol Boyfriend: 
> 
> Smol Boyfriend: Dongyoung you’re going to heck for this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: they say the word firetruck a lot
> 
> Also finally I did the Luwoo date! I know some of you have been waiting for this, so I didn’t want to keep you waiting. :D 
> 
> Btw Punch was super good!! It was kind of a fever dream to remember at first, but in a good way? I really liked it, everybody had some really great moments (bruh as a Doyoung stan I was fed), and I almost screamed when Jungwoo actually got lines. 
> 
> Also special shoutout to those that got my favorite NCT song right! It is Yestoday. I really like its simplicity in its sound and it’s meaningful lyrics that are a bit different from their usual style.

#### Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s

9:01 a.m.  
 _Screaming Bi is online._

Screaming Bi: SOMEBODY HELP ME I NEED HELP

Screaming Bi: LOOK I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE PROBABLY SLEEPING BUT PLEASEEEEEE

Screaming Bi: HELP ME AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

_Tall Bi, Pinkie Bi, and 3 others are online._

Tall Bi: Give me one good reason why you woke me up at the crack of dawn

Pinkie Bi: Didn’t the sun rise three hours ago

Tall Bi: Fuck off what I’m saying is that I’m tired

Tall Bi: Why the hell are you up at 9 in the morning on a Saturday

Screaming Bi: I HAVE MY DATE IN FOUR HOURS AND I NEED ADVICE

Chill Bi: Oh right that’s happening

Screaming Bi: HOW COULD YOU FORGET

Chill Bi: Chill out I literally just woke up

Actually Pan: And what kind of advice do you need??

Screaming Bi: Um

Screaming Bi: Like what to say?? What should I talk to him about

Pinkie Bi: I mean above all else be yourself

Pinkie Bi: Jungwoo probably likes you most as your genuine self after all

Tall Bi: Also you’re Wong Crackhead Yukhei

Tall Bi: I’m sure you can find something to talk about

Tall Bi: Also I’m peacing out I need at least two more hours of sleep

_Tall Bi is offline._

Screaming Bi: Still I’m nervous though!!

Screaming Bi: Like what do people usually talk about during dates??

Screaming Bi: Taeyong and Yoonoh, weren’t you on an ice cream date last night or something??? What did you talk about?

Pinkie Bi: Um

Pinkie Bi: We just went as friends?

Chill Bi: Yeah what are you talking about??

Screaming Bi:

Screaming Bi: WAIT IT WASN’T A DATE???

Actually Pan: What made you think it was

Disaster Bi:

Screaming Bi:

#### UNDERCLASSMEN UNITE (feat. Mark)

_Mark Lee and Wong Yukhei are online._

Mark Lee: Guys we fucked up

Wong Yukhei: I have royally fucked up

_Lee Donghyuck, Na Jaemin, an 7 others are online._

Xiao Dejun: What the fuck did you guys do

Xiao Dejun: It’s not even 10 am

Wong Yukhei: So Taeyong and Yoonoh ARENT dating apparently but I just assumed they were and mentioned it in the bi gc

Wong Yukhei: Now I don’t know what to say

Wong Yukhei: Help

Lee Donghyuck:

Lee Donghyuck: So let me get this straight

Lee Donghyuck: You guys said they were super soft and boyfriendy after they got out of the basement right?

Liu Yangyang: Soft and boyfriendy is an understatement

Lee Donghyuck: And they got ice cream together after sending Mark home with Dongyoung?

Lee Donghyuck: But it was just as FRIENDS?

Mark Lee: Basically?

Lee Donghyuck: Okay what the hell

Lee Donghyuck: I thought we were doing good too but I guess not

Na Jaemin: My life is a lie

Na Jaemin: Not even the caffeine god himself can give me answers

Wong Kunhang: Oh no how many pepsis did you have last night?

Na Jaemin: 14

Huang Renjun: EW YOU DRINK PEPSI

Lee Jeno: NEVERMIND THAT GO TO BED YOURE GOING TO DIE

Lee Donghyuck: Whatever we can’t know for sure about them tho until we get that hidden camera out of the basement

Mark Lee: Oh right the one hidden in that fake plant on the shelf?

Lee Donghyuck: Yeah I don’t think they found it

Park Jisung: You planted a camera for Yoonoh and Taeyong??

Mark Lee: Of course

Park Jisung: They’re going to fucking kill you

Lee Donghyuck: What they don’t know won’t hurt them

Park Jisung: I somehow feel old and responsible in this chat

Park Jisung: I’ve given up on you all a long time ago

Zhong Chenle: You have?

Park Jisung: Almost everybody

#### Bi Spy Some Pining Bi’s

Screaming Bi: So pick up lines

Screaming Bi: Any help?

Actually Pan: I literally can’t flirt to save my life but I guess I can offer a few tips?

Actually Pan: Make sure to bring more than enough money and offer to pay for his meal

Actually Pan: Be a good listener

Actually Pan: Don’t be afraid to compliment him either

Actually Pan: Other than that just be yourself and don’t do anything extremely dumb

Screaming Bi: Aight aight seems legit

Screaming Bi: Do I trust myself to not Yukhei this into a weird situation though? Not really

Disaster Bi: Did you just use your name as a verb I-

Screaming Bi: It fits

Screaming Bi: Anyways I’m doing to go practice speaking in a mirror for the next 3 hours I’ll tell you how the date goes afterwards

_Screaming BI is offline._

Chill Bi: “Yukhei” is being used as a verb now it’s official

#### NCT in the House

11:14 a.m.  
 _Chaotic, Lee Deadno, and 16 others are online._

Doyoungie: Taeyong could you give me admin rights?

_Cinnamon Roll Leader has given Doyoungie admin rights.  
Doyoungie has removed admin rights from Tol Boyfriend.  
Doyoungie has installed “Profanity Filter” within the chat functions._

Pwark Jisung: AW heck NO

Smol Boyfriend: What the firetruck is this

Smol Boyfriend: Also how dare you remove admin rights from Johnny the only thing he did was change our names so they were matching

Smol Boyfriend: Wait

Smol Boyfriend: Firetruck

Smol Boyfriend: Firetrucking piece of garbage son of a bee sting

Smol Boyfriend:

Smol Boyfriend: Dongyoung you’re going to heck for this

Hyuckie: Did you just put a firetrucking profanity filter on this

Doyoungie: Idk can you read?

Hyuckie: Firetruck off

Yaoi on Fire: Why would you do this

Yaoi on Fire: You do realize cussing is a staple within this group chat right

Doyoungie: I do

Doyoungie: And I never intended to change that until last night when I was taking Mark home

Doyoungie: I think my ears were bleeding from how much he was loudly cussing

Doyoungie: So I wanted to change that

Smol Boyfriend: MARK

Smol Boyfriend: motherfiretrucking

Smol Boyfriend: LEE

Smol Boyfriend: GET YOUR self ON THE GROUPCHAT YOU PIECE OF garbage

Canada Man: LOOK MY DEFENSE DONGYOUNG WAS DOING THE VROOM VROOM SHOW AND TOOK THE LONG WAY HOME ON PURPOSE

Canada Man: THE ONLY WAY I COULD SOMEWHAT INTERRUPT HIM WAS BY SCREAMING CUSS WORDS

Disgusted: Firetrucking idiot

Disgusted: Now we all have to deal with this bullcrap

Confused: I feel like I’m six again

Confused: and tbh I didn’t even cuss that much to begin with

Confused: Also why firetruck?

Doyoungie: Don’t question me

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: Aight Imma find a way to disable this because no way in heck am I going to be dealing with this garbage

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: I don’t think that our chat was meant to function without cuss words

Conspiracy Theories Renjun: It just doesn’t feel right

Doyoungie: It’s staying and that’s final

Smol Boyfriend: I didn’t sign up for this

Smol Boyfriend: Firetruck this garbage I’m out

_Smol Boyfriend is offline._

Wholesome Boyfriend:

#### Dong Sicheng -> Huang Renjun

Dong Sicheng: **Aight hear me out**

Dong Sicheng: **I’ll fix the chat for you but under one condition**

Huang Renjun: **What’s that**

Dong Sicheng: **I need you to do your tea spiller magic on a lot of people**

Huang Renjun:

Huang Renjun: **Why?**

Dong Sicheng: **It’ll be easier to explain if you call me**

Huang Renjun: **Alright?**

_Started call._

12:45

Yukhei ended up arriving at the coffee shop fifteen minutes early.

He knew showing up before the date was the gentlemanly thing to do, and above all else, he didn’t want to risk being late. What he didn’t expect, however, was to see Jungwoo already seated at a booth on his phone.

“Oh! Jungwoo!” Yukhei called out. “You’re early!”

Jungwoo looked up from his phone, smiled, and waved. “Oh hey Yukhei! Look who’s early too.”

The tall Chinese-Thai boy stood next to the booth and grinned. “I guess we’re both early birds aren’t we?” He gestured towards the area where the menu sat. “You want to get our drinks?”  
With Jungwoo’s soft “yes” as a response, the two ambled on over to the counter and eyed the menu. The place they chose produced a wide variety of drinks, from your standard coffees to your exotic smoothies. There was also a display case of baked treats, primarily things like muffins and cinnamon rolls.

“Anything you want in particular?” Jungwoo questioned quietly.

Yukhei shrugged in a big dramatic way. “I think I might just get my usual. Medium roast coffee with two pumps of hazelnut syrup.”

“A little specific.”

“It’s what my mom always got, so whenever she didn’t want to finish her coffee, she’d give it me.”

“I was thinking of getting a hot chocolate and cinnamon roll, but they’re honestly so big that I might go with a muffin instead.”

“Well,” Yukhei blurted, “what if we shared the cinnamon roll?”

A shy smile crossed Jungwoo’s face. “Sure. That works.” He turned to the register. Yukhei noticed the awkward eye contact he made with the cashier before he stated, “One small hot chocolate, a medium roast coffee with two pumps of hazelnut, and a cinnamon roll please.”

The girl behind the counter nodded and finished pushing buttons in the cash register. “That will be eleven dollars and 78 cents.” Jungwoo slid a twenty dollar bill on the counter before Yukhei could even pull out his wallet.

“Hey you-“

“You bought me that chocolate bar, right? Well, I thought I’d return the favor.”

“Oh! Th-thanks!” Yukhei flushed a red color which garnered an adorable reaction from Jungwoo and a smirk from the cashier. In little time, their drinks and bag with the cinnamon roll were slid over to them, and they walked over to their booth.

Sitting down, Yukhei could see Jungwoo looking down at his cup, suddenly blushing.

“Huh? What’s that?”

“Oh, that cashier is my friend, Yeri,” explained Jungwoo. “And she wrote this.” He passed the hot chocolate over.

_He’s cute!! ;) I left you two cake pops in the bag. Don’t worry, it’s on me. Have fun~_

He checked in the bag and pulled out two identical cake pops with pastel, pink frosting and white sprinkles.

“Hey, that means we have free food, right?” asked an excited, grinning, Yukhei. “We may as well eat them!”

Jungwoo put his arm around Yukhei’s broad shoulders and nodded. “Of course.”

#### NCT in the House

1:04 p.m.  
 _Canada Man, Pwark Jisung, and 17 others are online._

Canada Man: Hey which of you have the key to the basement btw?

Doyoungie: Why do you want to know

Canada Man: I think I left my camera in there

JaeJae:

JaeJae: You brought a c a m e r a ?

Canada Man: Yeah to record the game

Cinnamon Roll Leader: I thought I saw you bring home your camera bag though?

Hyuckie: We were watching what we recorded during the first half and we accidentally left it there when Dongyoung and Taeil randomly showed up

Cinnamon Roll Leader:

Cinnamon Roll Leader: We’ll sneak in the basement and get your camera on Monday

Cinnamon Roll Leader: But then we are returning the key because none of you should be allowed to get into the basement

Canada Man: Thanks Taeyong :)

Cinnamon Roll Leader: You’re welcome

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Btw my mom scheduled an eye appointment for you

Cinnamon Roll Leader: You’re getting glasses tomorrow

Canada Man: Firetruck

Smol Boyfriend: Aw come on glasses aren’t that bad

Smol Boyfriend: I wear mine all the time and I’m just vibing

Canada Man: But you look good in glasses!!

Hyuckie: Oml Mark you’ll look great in glasses

Hyuckie: We’ve been over this :(

Canada Man: Aw thanks Hyuckie

Canada Man: Still though idk

Hyuckie: Here I have an idea

Hyuckie: You show up to school in glasses on Monday and I’ll come with a full face of makeup

Canada Man: Come on Hyuck you don’t have to do this

Canada Man: You told me you were self conscious about what others thought

Canada Man: I want you to feel comfortable

Hyuckie: Well we can be self conscious together

Hyuckie: And if anybody has garbage to say about us, we stick together

Canada Man: Are you sure you want to do that?

Canada Man: I’m just wearing glasses you don’t need to do this

Hyuckie: Of course :)

Canada Man: Alright then

Canada Man: That would be lovely

Canada Man: I really appreciate that

Hyuckie: No problem :D

Barely Functioning: Firetruck you two are cute

Pwark Jisung: You know sometimes I forget why you two are friends and then I witness stuff like this

Hyuckie: Sometimes I forget why you and Chenle are friends and then I witness your soft shenanigans

Pwark Jisung: Look

Hyuckie: No

Pwark Jisung: Firetruck off

#### The Hurrigays

1:11 p.m.  
 _Sunshine Gay, Gay and Ready to Fight, and 8 others are online._

Gay and Ready to Fight: ;)

Sunshine Gay: no

Smiley Gay: ;)

Sunshine Gay: no

Dancing Gay: ;)

Sunshine Gay: Please stop

Lowkey Gay: ;))))

Sunshine Gay: LOOK OKAY

Smiley Gay: I’m just going to say that was adorable af keep going with that

Smiley Gay: Maybe confess to him if this little thing goes well

Sunshine Gay: weLL SEE

_UwU Gay is online._

UwU Gay: Hey it’s official me and Yukhei are dating

UwU Gay: And I just had the cutest date I’ve had with a guy in years

UwU Gay: What did I miss

Just a Disaster: A wholesome day I guess

Just a Disaster: Nobody even cussed

UwU Gay: Oh really?

UwU Gay: Why is that?

Dancing Gay: Dongyoung needs to be stopped that’s what

Dancing Gay: If I see the word firetruck one more time I’m yeeting my phone out of the window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t have much to say except I hope you all have been doing well and staying safe!
> 
> Question of the day? Got any good fic recommendations? I’d love to see what you guys like! Just please keep it PG. I don’t enjoy explicit stuff.
> 
> I’ll give a recommendation myself! There is this Chensung fic called Cotton Candy Rosewater, and it’s one of the sweetest one shots I’ve read. It’s a different sort of high school-barista fic, and the bond they develop is so cute. If you check it out, feel free to let me know if you liked it or not!! :D https://archiveofourown.org/works/20205016
> 
> Chat names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: Cinnamon Roll Leader  
> Mark: Canada Man  
> Doyoung: Doyoungie  
> Taeil: Dark Side of the Moon Taeil  
> Ten: Smol Boyfriend  
> Jaehyun: JaeJae  
> Kun: Snitch Mom  
> Yuta: Yaoi on Fire  
> Winwin: Wholesome Boyfriend  
> Haechan: Hyuckie  
> Jungwoo: Adorable Cutie  
> Johnny: Tol Boyfriend  
> Jaemin: Barely Functioning  
> Jeno: Deadno  
> Renjun: Conspiracy Theories Renjun  
> Chenle: Chen-donut-stealing-le  
> Jisung: Pwark Jisung  
> Lucas: ConfusedForeigner  
> Xiaojun: Confused  
> Hendery: Disgusted  
> Yangyang: Chaotic
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay  
> Taeyong: Just a Disaster  
> Renjun: Gay and Ready to Fight
> 
> Disaster Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi  
> Taeyong: Pinkie Bi


	15. MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunshine Gay: I just wish I had an indicator that Mark liked me :(
> 
> Just a Disaster:
> 
> Sunshine Gay: Then maybe I would say something
> 
> UwU Gay: 
> 
> UwU Gay: No. This is physically hurting me
> 
> UwU Gay: Look Donghyuck I love you but I can't do this
> 
> UwU Gay: If you want lessons in being a confident gay I can give them to you but please oh my god this is painful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recently, a surprise event happened, and it involved me being stuck in a car for hours on end with only a phone and notebook. This was the first time I wrote most of a chapter on my phone! I ended up listening to the entirety of Red Velvet’s discography in order (After those many hours I am now a huge Reveluv like damn they have some killer b-sides) and the entirety of NCT’s discography through a playlist that was about 6 hours long. All the songs are such a mush in my brain oh my god I never thought I would end up going through that NCT playlist in one sitting. I made it for when I needed to tank out a project in one go or something. 
> 
> If you were wondering what my favorite songs are from each group are now, here they are.  
> Red Velvet: Dumb Dumb, Red Dress, Huff Puff, Be Natural (not just because of TY track lmao), Automatic, Ice Cream Cake, and many more b-sides I can’t remember the names of. Dumb Dumb is by far my favorite though.  
> NCT 127: Kick It, Knock On, Limitless, Highway to Heaven, Nonstop, Elevator, Heartbreaker, No Longer  
> NCT Dream: Puzzle Piece, We Young, My First and Last, Go, Boom, Stronger  
> NCT U: Honestly I still love all of their discography, but my favorite is still Yestoday  
> WayV:Yeah Yeah Yeah, Love Talk, Moonwalk, Take Off
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!!

#### NCT in the House

7:30 a.m.  
_Canada Man, Cinnamon Roll Leader, and 7 others are online._

Hyuckie: Maaaaarkkkkk

Hyuckie: Where are you

Canada Man: I’m over at my locker

_Hyuckie is offline._

Lee Deadno: Hey so Dream is meeting after school today right?

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Yep!

Cinnamon Roll Leader: To meet everybody’s schedules, Dream meets on Mondays, 127 on Tuesdays, and WayV on Thursdays

Cinnamon Roll Leader: And then every month or so we’ll all meet as a group

Cinnamon Roll Leader: I’ll be at all the meetings to make sure we stay on track though

Doyoungie: Taeyong are you sure you need to do that

Doyoungie: If these meetings are anything like last year they’ll be long

Snitch Mom: Yeah is that necessary?

Snitch Mom: WayV has Ten, Sicheng, and me

Snitch Mom: We’ll make sure it stays on track

Yaoi on Fire: Hey remember “Has extremely high expectations of himself and needs to remember to give himself room to breathe?”

Yaoi on Fire: I’m sure whoever said that had a reason

JaeJae: ^^

Tol Boyfriend: ^^

Smol Boyfriend: ^^

Doyoungie: ^^

Dark Side of the Moon Taeil: ^^

Cinnamon Roll Leader: I’ll be fine

Cinnamon Roll Leader: I’m just doing my job as leader

JaeJae: Hm

Barely Functioning: Firetruck did I just hear the bell

Canada Man: OH garbage HYUCK AND I ARE STILL AT MY LOCKER

_Canada Man is offline._

Doyoungie: Why is it always you two that are nearly late to class

_Cinnamon Roll Leader, JaeJae, and 5 others are offline._

#### The Hurrigays

7:50 a.m.  
_Sunshine Gay, Smiley Gay, and 7 others are online._

Sunshine Gay: OH MY GOD MARK IS SO CUTE IN GLASSES

Sunshine Gay: I DON’T GET WHY HE THOUGHT HE’D LOOK BAD IN THEM LIKE OH MY GOD

Just a Disaster: Don’t you have class?

Sunshine Gay: THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT

Rabbit Gay: Get back to class

Rabbit Gay: Wait for lunch at least

Sunshine Gay: No

Rabbit Gay: I can't even stop you can't I

Smiley Gay: So when are you going to confess your feelings already?

Sunshine Gay: When I do

Sunshine Gay: Eventually

Lowkey Gay: I swear to god I feel like we’ve stayed at square one forever

Dancing Gay: Confessing isn't really that hard

Graceful Gay: Says the guy who waited until 3 am to confess sleep deprived

Dancing Gay: Shut

Sunshine Gay: I just wish I had an indicator that Mark liked me :(

Just a Disaster:

Sunshine Gay: Then maybe I would say something

UwU Gay:

UwU Gay: No. This is physically hurting me

UwU Gay: Look Donghyuck I love you but I can't do this

UwU Gay: If you want lessons in being a confident gay I can give them to you but please oh my god this is painful

_UwU Gay is offline._

Gay and Ready to Fight: Damn Donghyuck is such a disaster that he managed to scare of the most confident of gays

Gay and Ready to Fight: That's an achievement

Gay and Ready to Fight: Good job

Sunshine Gay: Fucking fight me

Gay and Ready to Fight: Look at my name

Gay and Ready to Fight: I saw you panicking with Mark this morning

Gay and Ready to Fight: You're not subtle

Sunshine Gay:

Sunshine Gay: Can I just go back to talking about how cute Mark is

Gay and Ready to Fight: Of course :)

Rabbit Gay: And I'm muting my phone

Sunshine Gay: Wait a fucking second

Sunshine Gay: Mark just asked me to meet with him after practice

Sunshine Gay: "We need to talk"

Sunshine Gay: Fuck I'm scared did I do anything wrong???

Graceful Gay: HE'S CONFESSING TO YOU DING DONG

Sunshine Gay: BUT HE SOUNDS SO SERIOUS

Smiley Gay: It's also Mark

Sunshine Gay: I hope It's just Mark being Mark ;-;

Pinkie Bi:

#### Bi Spy Some Pining Bi's

7:50 a.m.  
_Disaster Bi, Screaming Bi, and 4 others are online._

Disaster Bi: AHHHHHHHHHH

Chill Bi: Donghyuck?

Disaster Bi: OF COURSE

Disaster Bi: HIS MAKEUP LOOKS SO GOOD ON HIM

Tall Bi: Oh I haven't seen it yet

Tall Bi: How is it?

Disaster Bi: For the most part it's your general makeup it looks really nice!!

Disaster Bi: BUT HIS EYE MAKEUP

Disaster Bi: IT LOOKS SO GOOD AND HE LOOKS SO GOOD I WANT TO CRY I CAN'T BELIEVE HE WAS SELF CONSCIOUS ABOUT THIS

Disaster Bi: IT'S LIKE RED AND GOLD IT'S SO PRETTY

Disaster Bi: HE ALSO HAD SOME GLITTER ON HIS CHEEKS IT WAS V SUBTLE BUT SO CUTE AHHHH

Disaster Bi: I ASKED IF HE COULD DO MY MAKEUP SOME TIME AND I SWEAR HE LOOKED SO HAPPY WHEN I SAID THAT

Actually Pan: Oh my god don't die Mark lmao

Screaming Bi: Awwwww that's cute

Chill Bi: Now you need to ask him out

Disaster Bi:

Disaster Bi: We'll see

Pinkie Bi: WHICH REMINDS ME

Pinkie Bi: Yukhei you never told us how your date went?? Did it go well??

Screaming Bi: OH MY GOD I NEVER TOLD YOU GUYS

Screaming Bi: Me and Jungwoo are officially dating now uwu

Actually Pan: Oh no you're adopting his language

Screaming Bi: OWO

Actually Pan: Perish.

Screaming Bi: ono

Disaster Bi: You know I've been thinking about asking Donghyuck out?

Disaster Bi: But I swear every time I ask him I panic so hard any tips????

Disaster Bi: Plus I'm so scared of rejection

Tall Bi: Fucking go for it

Tall Bi: If you think you have a chance just do it I don't know what else to say

Disaster Bi: You know what? Fuck it I’ll do it

Disaster Bi: I'll confess to him

Actually Pan: Really now

Disaster Bi: WATCH ME

#### Mark Lee -> Lee Donghyuck

Mark Lee: Hey after practice can you meet me behind the school

Mark Lee: We need to talk

Lee Donghyuck: Oh uh sure!

Lee Donghyuck: No problemo

Mark Lee: Great

#### Bi Spy Pining Bi's

Disaster Bi: Screenshots.jpg

Disaster Bi: :)

Screaming Bi: Holy shit I'm so proud of you!!!

Chill Bi: Nice

Tall Bi: Bro it sounds like you're mad at him for messing with your daughter or something make sure he knows he didn't do anything wrong

Disaster Bi: I fucking hate you

Chill Bi: I thought we left JCC behind ffs

Tall Bi: Even if our channel was exposed, the inside jokes never die

Actually Pan: I'm not even going to ask

Actually Pan: Also Mark you better actually ask him out

Actually Pan: Don’t wuss out last minute or something

Disaster Bi: Don’t worry I won’t do that

Disaster Bi:

Disaster Bi: Probably

Pinkie Bi: Oh my god

#### Lee Taeyong -> Jung Yoonoh

8:40 a.m.

Lee Taeyong: If I have to hear anymore of those two idiots pining for each other I am going to break my phone holy shit

Jung Yoonoh: That's right you're in both chats

Lee Taeyong: They're both panicking so hard for each other but they’re such love struck idiots they’re so happy for each other

Lee Taeyong: So I at least take that as a win

Jung Yoonoh: Aw that's actually sweet

Jung Yoonoh: I hope Mark confesses today

Lee Taeyong: If we end up leaving and turns out he chickened out and said something else I swear

Lee Taeyong: He's liked Donghyuck for so long and it's pretty obvious he likes him back

Jung Yoonoh: They're just idiots

Jung Yoonoh: Kind of how like we were but without the added misunderstandings and realbizations

Lee Taeyong: Yoons

Lee Taeyong: I love you

Lee Taeyong: But that pun was terrible

Jung Yoonoh: I'm dating the group mom. Somebody got to pull out the dad jokes somewhere right?

Lee Taeyong: More like we're the group dads

Lee Taeyong: You punderestimate my bad puns

Jung Yoonoh: Oh god

Jung Yoonoh: Anyways while I'm usually against interfering with somebody's love life, I feel like if they don't get together soon, we need to stage an intervention

Jung Yoonoh: After all, they did the same for us right? ;)

Lee Taeyong: Yes ;)

Jung Yoonoh: We'll talk about it later

Jung Yoonoh:

Jung Yoonoh: Look there's been something I've been needing to talk to you

Jung Yoonoh: Do you mind if I get a bit serious?

Lee Taeyong: Not at all. Is something the matter?

Jung Yoonoh: I've been meaning to ask you but

Jung Yoonoh: You doing okay? It seems like your plate is really full right now

Lee Taeyong: Don't worry I'm fine!

Jung Yoonoh: Taeyong, Yuta told me about your schedule

Jung Yoonoh: You have four tests next week. And we both know you don't have a free at all. Practices will probably go from 4-6/6:30.

Jung Yoonoh: I know you want to be there for all the subgroups, but shouldn't you find other people with more lenient schedules to do those kinds of jobs?

Jung Yoonoh: Heck, Kun's right when he says WayV already has plenty of help so it would just leave Dream

Jung Yoonoh: And I’m pretty sure people like Dongyoung, Taeil, or Yuta wouldn’t have a problem taking turns supervising

Lee Taeyong: Yoonoh I know you're concerned but this is what I signed up for when I decided to be the group's leader

Lee Taeyong: It's just my responsibility

Jung Yoonoh: We have plenty of other people that wouldn't mind to lessen your workload though

Jung Yoonoh: It doesn’t just have to be you

Lee Taeyong: Look don't worry about it it's fine

Lee Taeyong: I really appreciate it. Seriously. Like I said, I'll be fine though

Jung Yoonoh: Fine. But I’m keeping my eye out for you

Jung Yoonoh: Just please. I don't want a repeat of what happened the week before we first performed 7th sense

Jung Yoonoh: I'm want to make sure you’re okay

Lee Taeyong: You’re too sweet

Jung Yoonoh: Hey I have to look out for my boyfriend, right? :)

Jung Yoonoh: How about I also come to Dream’s practice with you? I don’t have a shift tonight. It could be be fun

Lee Taeyong: That actually sounds great I’d love that

#### Huang Renjun -> Dong Sicheng

11:56 a.m.

Huang Renjun: [insert link to google drive]

Huang Renjun: **Here is all the tea just as you asked for it**

Dong Sicheng: **Perfect aight let me add you to the group chat**

Huang Renjun: **Wait what**

#### It’s Just a Prank Bro

11:57 a.m.  
_It’s a Winwin situation, Yuyu, and 1 other are online._  
_It’s a Winwin situation has added Huang Renjun to the group chat._  
_It’s a Winwin situation has changed Huang Renjun’s username to That’s the tea sis._

That’s the tea sis: What is this

That’s the tea sis: Who are you people

It’s a Winwin situation: It’s me Sicheng don’t worry

Yuyu: And I’m Yuta

Yuyu: Welcome to the squad

HanSOULless: Oh god is this that tea spiller sophomore you’ve been talking about

It’s a Winwin situation: Of course

That’s the tea sis: Oh that’s right Hansol’s here

HanSOULless: Not going to say much more but oh god Renjun you’re in for a ride

HanSOULless: Tomorrow’s going to be interesting

#### NCT in the House

5:19 p.m.

_Doyoungie, Snitch Mom, and 8 others are online._

ConfusedForeigner: How’s practice?

_JaeJae is online._

JaeJae: Firetrucking chaos

JaeJae: For a while they were fighting over who got what parts but at least they got that figured out

JaeJae: Now they are trying up with the choreo on their own despite Tae trying to help them out and I think he’s going to have a stroke

JaeJae: We’re just watching now and making sure things don’t catch on fire

JaeJae: Other than that pretty good. Mark’s being a sort of leader for the dreamies which has been helping a firetruck ton

Adorable Cutie: Wow they’re even making their own choreography?

JaeJae: Yeah Mark and Jisung are kind of being the leaders in that

JaeJae: Jisung’s really good like holy firetruck I never saw him dance before until now and he can pop it and lock it like nobody’s business

Chaotic: That’s Jisung for you

Chaotic: He doesn’t play around when it comes to dancing

Chaotic: I think he’s said he‘s been dancing for years now

Doyoungie: It definitely sounds like it

JaeJae: Anyways I better get back to watching

JaeJae: They’re all asking why I’m on my phone when I should be “watching the awesomeness that is NCT Dream take place.”

JaeJae: Quote is from Jaemin btw

_JaeJae is offline._

6:00 p.m.

_Lee Deadno, Conspiracy Theories Renjun, and 5 others are online._

Lee Deadno: Firetruck I’m tired

Barely Functioning: Yeah same

Barely Functioning: It was fun though

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Hey where are Mark and Donghyuck going?

Pwark Jisung: Who knows

Pwark Jisung: It’s Mark and Donghyuck

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Anyways I’m going home and going to attempt to do my geometry

Chen-donut-stealing-le: Wish my luck on the test tomorrow it’s going to be heck

Pwark Jisung: I’m with you lmao

6:06 p.m.

Donghyuck followed Mark away from the others, stopping at the end of the hallway.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” asked Donghyuck with a concerned tone. The text he received earlier was ominous to say the least. The words, “We need to talk,” stilled echoed in his head. The thing was, he didn’t even know if he did anything wrong. He was hoping nothing bad happened.

“U-um,” Mark stuttered, flushing a bit pink. “Well,” he made eye contact with Hyuck and started sweating.

“Mark did I do anything wrong?“

Mark shook his head with extreme speed. “Oh my god no! I swear you didn’t!” His eyes darted around the area until he suddenly regained his composure. “Okay! Uh, thank you for coming in with the makeup today! You, um, made me forget to be nervous, haha!”

“Oh.” Donghyuck turned a shade of pink himself at that statement. “Of course I wouldn’t have it any other way. Y-you did the same for me too actually. Like I also forgot to be nervous!” He suddenly wrapped his arms around Mark in a warm hug.

The two stood there for a little bit just giggling and enjoying each other’s company.

#### Lee Taeyong -> Jung Yoonoh

6:41

Lee Taeyong: So three things

Jung Yoonoh: Oh no

Lee Taeyong: Mark did NOT confess but instead ended up thanking Hyuck for showing up with makeup and Mark said it was cute

Lee Taeyong: When we got Mark’s camera it was hidden in a potted plant and out of batteries

Lee Taeyong: And we are doing a great job all the dreamies are super fucking confused that we are supposedly not dating

Jung Yooonoh: 1) Damnit at least they’re being cute friends 2) Are you fucking serious you know what that means right? 3) That might change if they actually recorded us

Lee Taeyong: Fuck you’re right

Lee Taeyong: Mark’s charging it right now let me go find it

Jung Yoonoh: Please

Lee Taeyong: Update: he hid it somewhere I can’t find it

Jung Yoonoh: Motherfucker

Jung Yoonoh: Well shit

Jung Yoonoh: Prepare for the worst

#### Mark Lee -> Lee Taeyong

7:31 p.m.

Mark Lee: You have a lot of explaining to do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little softer than I expected it to be, but I hope you liked it! For those who are wondering, the profanity filter will be no more next chapter! :)
> 
> Btw thank you for 400+ kudos!!! Seeing that made my day!
> 
> Chat names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: Cinnamon Roll Leader  
> Mark: Canada Man  
> Doyoung: Doyoungie  
> Taeil: Dark Side of the Moon Taeil  
> Ten: Smol Boyfriend  
> Jaehyun: JaeJae  
> Kun: Snitch Mom  
> Yuta: Yaoi on Fire  
> Winwin: Wholesome Boyfriend  
> Haechan: Hyuckie  
> Jungwoo: Adorable Cutie  
> Johnny: Tol Boyfriend  
> Jaemin: Barely Functioning  
> Jeno: Deadno  
> Renjun: Conspiracy Theories Renjun  
> Chenle: Chen-donut-stealing-le  
> Jisung: Pwark Jisung  
> Lucas: ConfusedForeigner  
> Xiaojun: Confused  
> Hendery: Disgusted  
> Yangyang: Chaotic
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay  
> Taeyong: Just a Disaster  
> Renjun: Gay and Ready to Fight
> 
> Disaster Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi  
> Taeyong: Pinkie Bi


	16. Name Unknown Strikes Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is only aware of the Last Airbender live action movie and doesn’t know the masterpiece that is the Avatar animated series exists: I’m confused you all told me to watch the last airbender but it wasn’t that good?? Like I was really confused watching the movie I didn’t know what was going on
> 
> Once got their head stuck in a cotton candy machine and basically had cotton candy hair when they got it out: Bro how have you not heard of the original series that’s a crime against humanity
> 
> Once got their head stuck in a cotton candy machine and basically had cotton candy hair when they got it out: Like how does that happen?
> 
> Knows literally any kpop dance because they practice them until three in the morning on weekends: Yeah holy shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a longer chapter for y’all! I wanted to do a certain game again since it’s fun for me to write, and you guys had fun with it last time.
> 
> I actually know somebody in real life who only watched the horrible live action adaptation of Avatar. When I mentioned the show was on Netflix and I learned that they were thinking of the movie, I couldn’t believe my ears. They know better the series exists now though, and I think they started watching it on Netflix. (If you need a good show to watch, I seriously recommend it. Avatar’s one of the best shows I’ve ever experienced. It just gets so many things right.)
> 
> Also WAYV IS HAVING A COMEBACK THEY’RE GETTING THEIR FIRST FULL ALBUM THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. JUNE 9TH PEOPLE. BE PREPARED. I’m so excited!!! They’re actually getting promoted too!! Even the recent videos have used the SM logo at the end! The concept seems intriguing and I wonder where it will go! :D We’ll have to see!

#### Mark Lee -> Lee Taeyong

7:31 p.m.

Mark Lee: You have a lot of explaining to do

Mark Lee: So you’re telling me our plan DID work and you two ARE actually dating??

Lee Taeyong: In my defense I didn’t realize you were VIDEOTAPING US WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION

Lee Taeyong: Did you think we were going to actually tell we were dating and let you off that easy??

Mark Lee: After riding with Dongyoung, no

Lee Taeyong: For your information btw, Dongyoung is giving you a ride home tonight again

Mark Lee: FUCK

Lee Taeyong: And we can repeat that again if you tell Donghyuck or the other underclassmen about this before we do

Mark Lee: How long?

Lee Taeyong: One more day

Lee Taeyong: It’s all we need :)

Mark Lee: I’m scared

#### 

NCT in the House

7:26 a.m.  
_Cinnamon Roll Leader, Lee Deadno, and 19 others are online._

Hyuckie: Whichever one of you garbages rearranged everything in my locker

Hyuckie: P e r i s h

Yaoi on Fire: Wait what happened

Hyuckie: I open up my locker to get my books for today and the first thing I see is them stacked in a pyramid like how you stack playing cards

Hyuckie: They ended up falling all over me and now I’m stuck in a pile of books

Hyuckie: So whichever one of you guys did that firetruck you

Cinnamon Roll Leader: You actually have your own ride home so take that as a punishment instead

Hyuckie: Wtf this is so petty

Hyuckie: It’s not even that bad just really annoying

Cinnamon Roll Leader: Watch what you say

Cinnamon Roll Leader: You won’t be saying that after today

Hyuckie:

Hyuckie: what?

11:50 a.m.

_JaeJae, Lee Deadno, and 18 others are online._

JaeJae: Hey have any of you seen Dongyoung’s phone

Lee Deadno: It’s missing?

Tol Boyfriend: Yeah

Tol Boyfriend: He couldn’t find it after the class we just had

_Doyoungie is online._  
_Doyoungie has removed admin rights from Cinnamon Roll Leader._  
_Doyoungie has added Name Unknown to the group chat._

Doyoungie: Dongyoung your phone is in under your desk in your lit class

_Doyoungie has removed admin rights from himself._

Smol Boyfriend: Oh fuck this please don’t tell me

Name Unknown: Oh yeah

Name Unknown: It’s happening again

Lee Deadno: Who are you???

Lee Deadno: It can’t be any of the underclassmen. We’re all here

Snitch Mom: Yeah and we’re all here too

Snitch Mom: Sicheng just got here nobody could be using a second phone for a separate account rn

Name Unknown: It’s a mystery uwu

Name Unknown: Anyways here we go round two baby

Pwark Jisung: Oh firetruck this

_Name Unknown has disabled the profanity filter._

Name Unknown: Oh wow I almost forgot that

Name Unknown: Now for the good stuff

_Name Unknown has changed Cinnamon Roll Leader’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Canada Man’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Tol Boyfriend’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Smol Boyfriend’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Lee Deadno’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Barely Functioning’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Conspiracy Theories Renjun’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Yaoi on Fire’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Wholesome Boyfriend’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed ConfusedForeigner’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Confused’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Disgusted’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Chaotic’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Dark Side of the Moon Taeil’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Adorable Cutie’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Doyoungie’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Hyuckie’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed JaeJae’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Snitch Mom’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Chen-donut-stealing-le’s username to nameless._  
_Name Unknown has changed Pwark Jisung’s username to nameless._

nameless: Hey at least we can fucking cuss again

nameless: I take that as a win

 _Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Once got their head stuck in a cotton candy machine and basically had cotton candy hair when they got it out._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Smacked Dejun in the face with a baseball bat on their birthday while trying to hit a piñata._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Knows literally any kpop dance because they practice them until three in the morning on weekends._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Had a pastel goth phase in middle school and spends at least five minutes a day trying to forget about it._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Read every. Single. Book. And watched. Every. Single. Movie. In the Twilight saga within a week and was never the same afterwards._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Also read and watched all of Twilight in a week but actually enjoyed it._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to During their AP Chemistry exam they were running out of time and just wrote “OH GOD WHY” for their last written response. Still managed to get a 5._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Is dating Jungwoo but both of them forgot to tell the main chat._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Doesn’t ACTUALLY hate math but doesn’t pay attention because they want to spend time with Jisung._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Is only aware of the Last Airbender live action movie and doesn’t know the masterpiece that is the Avatar animated series exists._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Once started the washing machine with their cat in it._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Went to go see their relatives outside of the country one time but kept greeting_ _them in Korean on accident._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Literally can’t cook eggs to save their life oh my god help this man._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Has been working at a Panda Express for a year now despite being Chinese._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Played Five Nights at Freddy’s in third grade and had nightmares for three years._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Once said “fuck” 27 times in one day._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Honestly doesn’t understand what’s going on in the chat half of the time, but goes along with it because they have nothing better to do._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Has a panicked gay laugh you all need to hear._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Has a scented candle collection and his favorite one smells like hot chocolate._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to Really wants to be able to garden but kills all of their plants within two weeks. They have a cactus that‘s still alive though._  
_Name Unknown has changed nameless’s username to On their very first day of school managed to tumble down literally all of stairs from the top floor to the empty basement stairwell and the basement door that happened to be open that day. They bumped into Johnny midway and also caused him to fall into the basement with them. The door closed and locked behind them and they ended up missing their entire first day of school even after seven hours of pounding and yelling at the door. Teachers were confused. Parents were panicking. It was a miracle the janitor found them at six in the afternoon closing off from his shift._

Is dating Jungwoo but both of them forgot to tell the main chat: Oh my god we did forget to tell the main chat

Has a scented candle collection and his favorite one smells like hot chocolate: Wait how did you even find this out

Once said “fuck” 27 times in one day: I’m not even ashamed

Once got their head stuck in a cotton candy machine and basically had cotton candy hair when they got it out: Not gonna lie, that hurt a lot

Went to go see their relatives outside of the country one time but kept greeting them in Korean on accident: Look you have to understand I’ve lived in Korea for so long my family jokes that I’m more Korean than Japanese

Has been working at Panda Express for a year now despite being Chinese: Oh hello Yuta

Went to go see their relatives outside of the country one time but kept greeting them in Korean on accident: Hello Kun :)

Has been working at Panda Express for a year now: Oh fuck

_Name Unknown has changed Went to go see their relatives outside of the country one time but kept greeting them in Korean on accident’s username to NicoNicoNi~._  
_Name Unknown has changed Has been working at Panda Express for a year now’s username to China Line Traitor._

NicoNicoNi~: Oh hell no I thought I avoided this nickname

China Line Traitor: I’m not a traitor I swear

Smacked Dejun in the face with a baseball bat on their birthday while trying to hit a piñata: No you’re a fucking traitor

Smacked Dejun in the face with a baseball bat on their birthday while trying to hit a piñata: How could you Kun

Smacked Dejun in the face with a baseball bat on their birthday while trying to hit a piñata: Of all places why Panda Express

China Line Traitor: It was the easiest place for me to get a job and it paid really well

China Line Traitor: At least for a fast food joint

Once started the washing machine with their cat in it: I’m appalled

China Line Traitor: Fuck off

China Line Traitor: Also who accidentally starts their washing machine with their living, breathing, cat?

Once started the washing machine with their cat in it: Oh I’m Yangyang

Once started the washing machine with their cat in it: It was 2 am and the lights in the room weren’t working

Once started the washing machine with their cat in it: Don’t worry Louis came out uninjured

Once started the washing machine with their cat in it: He’s super scared of the laundry room though now

_Name Unknown has changed Once started the washing machine with their cat in it’s username to Gay AND European._

Gay AND European: Actually I’m pan but this is the best nickname I’ve ever had

Gay AND European: Btw the rest of you need to start talking before we expose you. You know who you are :)

Smacked Dejun in the face with a baseball bat on their birthday while trying to hit a piñata: Before Dejun says anything I am Kunhang, it was an accident, and going to be totally honest

Smacked Dejun in the face with a baseball bat on their birthday while trying to hit a piñata: It was really funny

Is only aware of the Last Airbender live action movie and doesn’t know the masterpiece that is the Avatar animated series exists: IT FUCKING HURT

Is only aware of the Last Airbender live action movie and doesn’t know the masterpiece that is the Avatar animated series exists: I was really lucky I didn’t break anything :(

Gay AND European: WAIT DEJUN YOU MEAN YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF AVATAR????

Gay AND European: WE’RE BINGING IT THIS WEEKEND

Is only aware of the Last Airbender live action movie and doesn’t know the masterpiece that is the Avatar animated series exists: I’m confused you all told me to watch the last airbender but it wasn’t that good?? Like I was really confused watching the movie I didn’t know what was going on

Once got their head stuck in a cotton candy machine and basically had cotton candy hair when they got it out: Bro how have you not heard of the original series that’s a crime against humanity

Once got their head stuck in a cotton candy machine and basically had cotton candy hair when they got it out: Like how does that happen?

Knows literally any kpop dance because they practice them until three in the morning on weekends: Yeah holy shit

Literally can’t cook eggs to save their life oh my god help this man: Avatar is my childhood it’s so good

Knows literally any kpop dance because they practice them until three in the morning on weekends: Oh my god how could you leave out the most important detail that I sent Gordon Ramsey a picture of Mark’s eggs and he roasted the ever loving shit out of them

Literally can’t cook eggs to save their life oh my god help this man:

Literally can’t cook eggs to save their life oh my god help this man: Hyuck you know staying up till 3 am isn’t a good idea right?

Knows literally any kpop dance because they practice them until three in the morning on weekends: But it’s fun!! :( And it helps me practice my dancing!

Literally can’t cook eggs to save their life oh my god help this man: Sleep is important

Knows literally any kpop dance because the practice them until three in the morning on weekends: I’ll think about it -_-

_Name Unknown has changed Smacked Dejun in the face with a baseball bat on their birthday while trying to hit a piñata’s username to Macau Prince._  
_Name Unknown has changed Is only aware of the Last Airbender live action movie and doesn’t know the masterpiece that is the Avatar animated series exists’s username to Junjun._  
_Name Unknown has changed Knows literally any kpop dance because they practice them until three in the morning on weekends’s username to Haechan._  
_Name Unknown has changed Literally can’t cook eggs to save their life oh my god help this man’s username to Mork Lee._

Mork Lee: I resent this

Haechan: Oh hello mORK LEE

Mork Lee: Hhhhhh

China Line Traitor: Moving on

China Line Traitor: I’m just going to go out on a limb and say the one who liked Twilight was Jeno because we all know he has shit taste

China Line Traitor: Exhibit A: He unironically liked Hunchback 2

Also read and watched all of Twilight in a week but actually enjoyed it:

Also read and watched all of Twilight in a week but actually enjoyed it: Look Renjun and I did it as a joke at first but I actually got invested okay??

Read every. Single. Book. And watched. Every. Single. Movie. In the Twilight saga within a week and was never the same afterwards: I literally can’t read vampire books anymore I think I lost half of my braincells in that week

Read every. Single. Book. And watched. Every. Single. Movie. In the Twilight saga within a week and was never the same afterwards: Especially after we crashed at Jeno’s house to binge all the movies in one sitting once we finished the books

Read every. Single. Book. And watched. Every. Single. Movie. In the Twilight saga within a week and was never the same afterwards: It was so bad I was more emotionally invested in the fruit punch I was drinking than the acting but I couldn’t look away

Read every. Single. Book. And watched. Every. Single. Movie. In the Twilight saga within a week and was never the same afterwards: I thought it would have been a fun hate read for the summer but honestly I lost a part of myself and I don’t know what it was

Once said “fuck” 27 times in one day: As somebody who has read Twilight, I can relate

Once said “fuck” 27 times in one day: Also I’m Ten and y’all could have said so much more about me and I’m disappointed

Name Unknown: MiddleSchool.mp4

Once said “fuck” 27 times in one day: FUCK

Played Five Nights at Freddy’s in third grade and had nightmares for three years:

Played Five Nights at Freddy’s in third grade and had nightmares for three years: Is that Ten singing Baby by Justin Bieber with his red hair and everything

Once said ”fuck” 27 times in one day: Look I can explain

Played Five Nights at Freddy’s in third grade and had nightmares for three years: Also I’m Johnny and in my defense it was that stupid puppet that creeped me out

_Name Unknown has changed Read every. Single. Book. And watched. Every. Single. Movie. In the Twilight saga within a week and was never the same afterwards’s username to Renjun Cullen._  
_Name Unknown has changed Also read and watched all of Twilight in a week but actually enjoyed it’s username to Jeno Swan._  
_Name Unknown has changed Once said “fuck” 27 times in one day’s username to ThaiCon._  
_Name Unknown has changed Played Five Nights at Reddy’s in third grade and had nightmares for three years’s nickname to Johnster._

Jeno Swan: Bruh Bella??? Why me?

Renjun Cullen: Because you

ThaiCon: I missed this name I’m glad I’m able to have it again after only having it for only like a day

Really wants to be able to garden but kills all of their plants within two weeks. They have a cactus that‘s still alive though: Alright I’m just going to say it I’m Sicheng

Really wants to be able to garden but kills all of their plants within two weeks. They have a cactus that‘s still alive though: I’ve tried for so long and honesty I’ve given up

Really wants to be able to garden but kills all of their plants within two weeks. They have a cactus that‘s still alive though: My little cactus hasn’t given up on me though

Honestly doesn’t understand what’s going on in the chat half of the time, but goes along with it because they have nothing better to do: Also yeah I’m just going to get it out of the way but I’m Taeil

Honestly doesn’t understand what’s going on in the chat half of the time, but goes along with it because they have nothing better to do: Y’all make me feel old sometimes I swear to god

Honestly doesn’t understand what’s going on in the chat half of the time, but goes along with it because they have nothing better to do: And I’m not even much older

Macau Prince: What can we say this is hell

_Name Unknown has changed Really wants to be able to garden but kills all of their plants within two weeks’s username to Sicheng Win._  
_Name Unknown has changed Honestly doesn’t understand what’s going on in the chat half of the time, but goes along with it because they have nothing better to do’s username to Confused Uncle Taeil._

Confused Uncle Taeil: So first it was Grandpa Taeil

Confused Uncle Taeil: Now it’s uncle Taeil?

Sicheng Win: No it fits

NicoNicoNi~: “And this is Hicklin Shrochi’s 21 year old son. You see that medal around his neck? Well, he just took first place in his archery championship after training and practicing for 15 years. He says was born in China, but he’s worked very hard here in the US to achieve his goals and dreams. By the way, his name is Sicheng Win, but his family calls him Winwin. Hehe I think that’s perfect.”

Has a panicked gay laugh you all need to hear: Oh I remember that haha

Johnster: BRUH I WAS DYING

Renjun Cullen: Wait what the fuck

Sicheng Win: <https://youtu.be/FxXciWs45u8>

Once got their head stuck in a cotton candy machine and basically had cotton candy hair when they got it out: When did this happen and why lmao

Johnster: I sent it in as a joke to the news in my hometown on April Fools day but they actually accepted it and thought it was legit

Junjun: Oh my god

ThaiCon: Aight I’m just going to say it I right here

ThaiCon: I’m looking at all the other names and Jaemin either you had a pastel goth phase or you got your head stuck in the cotton candy machine and I seriously doubt it was the first one

Once got their head stuck in a cotton candy machine and basically had cotton candy hair when they got it out: Hey you don’t know me

ThaiCon: My point is proven

_Name Unknown has changed Once got their head stuck in a cotton candy machine and basically had cotton candy hair when they got it out’s username to Jaem._

ThaiCon: Jaemin the only time I’ve seen you wear the color black was in the group photo Mark showed us for homecoming last year

Jeno Swan: Oh I was kind of banking on Jaemin going through the pastel goth phase

Jeno Swan: Who else would it have been

Mork Lee: Who’s even left

Haechan: Yukhei, Dongyoung, Jisung, Jungwoo, Yoonoh, Taeyong, and Chenle

During their AP Chemistry exam they were running out of time and just wrote “OH GOD WHY” for their last written response. Still managed to get a 5: I still don’t understand how I got a five

ThaiCon: It’s because you’re probably one of the smartest ones here and answered everything else correctly

During their AP Chemistry exam they were running out of time and just wrote “OH GOD WHY” for their last written response. Still managed to get a 5: I mean yeah I guess

During their AP Chemistry exam they were running out of time and just wrote “OH GOD WHY” for their last written response. Still managed to get a 5: I’m Dongyoung btw

_Name Unknown has changed During their AP Chemistry exam they were running out of time and just wrote “OH GOD WHY” for their last written response. Still managed to get a 5’s username to *eyebrows raised*._

*eyebrows raised*: I didn’t ask for this nickname

Has a scented candle collection and his favorite one smells like hot chocolate: Um I’m Yoonoh

Has a scented candle collection and his favorite one smells like hot chocolate: And the panicked laugh one is Taeyong

Has a panicked gay laugh you all need to hear: Is my panicked laugh really that obvious

Has a scented candle collection and his favorite one smells like hot chocolate: Yes very

Has a panicked gay laugh you all need to hear:

_Name Unknown has changed Has a scented candle collection and his favorite one smells like hot chocolate’s username to You know who._  
_Name Unknown has changed Has a panicked gay laugh you all need to hear’s username to The True Panicked Bi._

China Line Traitor: Yukhei and Jungwoo are dating btw

Is dating Jungwoo but both of them forgot to tell the main chat: Yep!! He’s the sweetest boyfriend I’ve ever had :)

On their very first day of school managed to tumble down literally all of stairs from the top floor to the empty basement stairwell and the basement door that happened to be open that day. They bumped into Johnny midway and also caused him to fall into the basement with them. The door closed and locked behind them and they ended up missing their entire first day of school even after seven hours of pounding and yelling at the door. Teachers were confused. Parents were panicking. It was a miracle the janitor found them at six in the afternoon closing off from his shift: Same with you Yukhei <3

On their very first day of school managed to tumble down literally all of stairs from the top floor to the empty basement stairwell and the basement door that happened to be open that day. They bumped into Johnny midway and also caused him to fall into the basement with them. The door closed and locked behind them and they ended up missing their entire first day of school even after seven hours of pounding and yelling at the door. Teachers were confused. Parents were panicking. It was a miracle the janitor found them at six in the afternoon closing off from his shift: Also somebody please change my name I don’t need a paragraph for my username

Macau Prince: Dear god it’s clogging up the chat

ThaiCon: Wait that’s why Johnny was missing the first day of school sophomore year???

Johnster: Yeah lol

Johnster: Jungwoo didn’t want me to tell anybody at the time since admittedly it’s embarrassing and it was just his first day of high school ever

*eyebrows raised*: Awwwww

_Name Unknown has changed Is dating Jungwoo but both of them forgot to tell the main chat’s username to An actual living meme._  
_Name Unknown has changed On their very first day of school managed to tumble down literally all of stairs from the top floor to the empty basement stairwell and the basement door that happened to be open that day. They bumped into Johnny midway and also caused him to fall into the basement with them. The door closed and locked behind them and they ended up missing their entire first day of school even after seven hours of pounding and yelling at the door. Teachers were confused. Parents were panicking. It was a miracle the janitor found them at six in the afternoon closing off from his shift’s username to Looks like Taemin and it scares me._

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: I don’t get it why does everybody keep saying I look like Taemin???

An actual living meme: Jungwoo remember when I first met you and complimented you on your hair because it was dyed dark blue?

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: Yeah why

An actual living meme: I thought you were Taemin and that he dyed his hair until I saw him later and his hair was still brown

An actual living meme: I didn’t realize you were a completely different person until we met for NCT the first time and you said your name was Jungwoo

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: I-

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: Oh my god

Confused Uncle Taeil: So wait you’re telling me JISUNG had a pastel goth phase??

Confused Uncle Taeil: Because the other person is obviously Chenle

Doesn’t ACTUALLY hate math but doesn’t pay attention because they want to spend time with Jisung: How do you know that??

Renjun Cullen: Bro I hate to break it to you but you’re the only person that looks at memes in math class with Jisung

Renjun Cullen: You’re not subtle

Had a pastel goth phase in middle school and spends at least five minutes a day trying to forget about it: Wait Chenle really?

Doesn’t ACTUALLY hate math but doesn’t pay attention because they want to spend time with Jisung: Um

ThaiCon: OKAY NOW I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS

ThaiCon: BUT HONESTLY? I JUST WANT TO SEE THE PICTURES OF MIDDLE SCHOOL JISUNG

Had a pastel goth phase in middle school and spends as least five minutes a day trying to forget about it: OH HELL NO

Had a pastel goth phase in middle school and spends at least five minutes a day trying to forget about it: THERE ARE MANY THINGS IN LIFE I WANT TO FORGET

Had a pastel goth phase in middle school and spends at least five minutes a day trying to forget about it: PLEASE AT LEAST LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING

Doesn’t ACTUALLY hate math but doesn’t pay attention because they want to spend time with Jisung: Yeah leave him alone!! >:(

Haechan: Aw I wanted to see pastel goth Jisung

_Name Unknown has changed Doesn’t ACTUALLY hate math but doesn’t pay attention because they want to spend time with Jisung’s username to President Chenle._  
_Name Unknown has changed Had a pastel goth phase in middle school and spends at least five minutes a day trying to forget about it’s username to An edgy goth at heart._  
_Name Unknown has given admin rights to China Line Traitor._  
_Name Unknown has left the chat._

China Line Traitor: HAHA BITCHES I’M LEADING THIS GROUP CHAT NOW

The True Panicked Bi: O-oh

The True Panicked Bi: I mean it can’t be any worse than having Ten or Donghyuck being admins though right?

ThaiCon: Debatable

The True Panicked Bi: *sigh*

#### 

#### Jung Yoonoh -> Lee Donghyuck

2:55 p.m.

Jung Yoonoh: Hey we’re getting treats for 127 today right after school but before practice

Jung Yoonoh: Why don’t you come with?

Lee Donghyuck: Excuse me why?

Jung Yoonoh: We need to have a little chit chat :)

Lee Donghyuck: I don’t like where this is going

Jung Yoonoh: It’s nothing bad I swear

Jung Yoonoh: Jungwoo’s coming too

Lee Donghyuck: Okay that makes me feel less intimidated

Lee Donghyuck: What do we need to chit chat about anyway?

Jung Yoonoh: Oh you’ll find out

Lee Donghyuck: Fine I guess I’ll come with

3:30 p.m.

To be honest, Donghyuck didn’t know what to expect willingly going along with Yoonoh’s plans. Once he arrived to the gym to see the other members of 127, the older student was dangling his keys around his fingers, an uninterested look in his eyes.

“Alright,” he started, “Donghyuck and Jungwoo are coming with me to get some snacks. It’s just the bakery nearby, and I’m paying. We should be gone for twenty minutes tops. All good?”

Taeyong nodded. “Yep! Sounds like a plan!”

Donghyuck saw Mark narrowed his eyes at Taeyong, then Yoonoh, then him. However, he refused to say anything and just had a very confused look that was trademark of Mark.

The moment Donghyuck got in the backseat of the car, he knew he had royally screwed up. The way he could see Yoonoh’s eyes narrow in the mirror was enough to say that.

“So, a little birdie told me you and Mark planted a camera when we were locked in the basement Friday night.”

“Oh.” So that’s what it was.

Yoonoh continued, “Yeah, me and Taeyong are not very happy about that. Originally, we solely wanted to focus on a sort of punishment since that was a pretty uncool thing to do, and we thought we could get back at you.”

Donghyuck raised an eyebrow. “And? What are you going to do with me? Also was that what the book stacking thing this morning was about?”

“It’s your fault for not having a lock on your locker.”

“Hey! It’s just easier to get my books in the morning without unlocking my lock.”

“It’s a miracle your things haven’t been stolen yet or at least looked through! You’re damn lucky me and Taeyong didn’t even look through anything.”

“Whatever!” Donghyuck shouted. “Is my week just going to have petty stuff like that then?”

To his surprise, Yoonoh shook his head. “No. Taeyong and I talked about it, and we decided we wanted to return the favor to you guys.”

“Huh?” The sophomore was wholly confused. Since when did they do a favorite for Taeyong and Yoonoh? It was that moment where every clicked in his head, causing him to near screech in surprise. “Wait you mean-“

“Taeyong and I have been dating since Friday but we hid it from you guys until now.”

Donghyuck nearly jumped out of his seat. “Wait, so you have been intentionally fucking with us?”

“Yeah,” replied Jungwoo who had been silent before. “All the upperclassmen were in on it too.”

“Oh.” Frowning, Donghyuck shook his head. “So what are you going to do?”

“We wanted to return the favor by helping you sort out your feelings with Mark,” Yoonoh explained. “Before you say anything, I’m just going to tell you that your crush was never subtle. You have to understand though that Mark is literally the worst at picking up the signs. Jungwoo told me and Taeyong that you’ve been wanting to confess but are too scared, so we’re going to help you out.”

“H-huh?” asked Donghyuck, blushing. “I mean I do I guess. Is that the only reason why Jungwoo’s here then?”

Jungwoo rolled his eyes. “Donghyuck, you do realize that I was serious about giving you confident gay lessons, right?”

“You-“

Jungwoo looked from the passenger seat to the back of the car to make eye contact. “I’m going to help you out a bit. You need it. You’ve had a crush on Mark for months, and let’s be honest. You’ve never really moved past square one.”

“O-oh...” Donghyuck gulped. “You’re right.”

“So tonight we’re just going to ask you to be yourself. We’ll work from there.”

A sigh escape Donghyuck’s lips as he slumped in his seat. “Why do I have a bad feeling about this?”

#### Lee Taeyong -> Kim Jungwoo

6:32 p.m.

Lee Taeyong: What advice did you give Donghyuck

Kim Jungwoo: To be himself

Kim Jungwoo: Pretty sure he panicked though. At least he concealed it well because Yoonoh didn’t even notice until a bit late into practice

Lee Taeyong: That’s good

Lee Taeyong: Dongyoung tried giving Mark some good straightforward advice driving him home instead of doing vroom vroom

Lee Taeyong: I think it helped a bit

Kim Jungwoo: I hope this works. Those idiots really like each other

Lee Taeyong: Yeah but we’re not going to give them the easy way out and tell them that

Lee Taeyong: Especially after the basement incident

Kim Jungwoo: Yeah for now let’s just give them advice on confessing because we know they want to but are too afraid

Lee Taeyong: Especially with Mark and his false alarm

Kim Jungwoo: I believe they can do it though :)

Lee Taeyong: Same here. They’ve been friends for so long and they already know each other so well they’d be such a power couple

Kim Jungwoo: They’re more salvageable as confident gays than you and you managed to get together with Yoonoh

Kim Jungwoo: I’m sure it can happen

Lee Taeyong: 

Lee Taeyong: Look I know I’m a disaster okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! I hope you’ve been doing well!!
> 
> Completely unrelated note, but my school, specifically the students, attempted to get all the male teachers to watch all of Twilight together this year. (Long before the pandemic started.) I don’t know how much they actually succeeded, but it was so big it became a meme within my classmates and something I will never forget. 
> 
> Anyways, the important stuff.
> 
> I wanted to put out a longer chapter today since I’m going to go on a temporary break with this fic. It’s for a few reasons.
> 
> 1\. I’ve lost a little bit of the creative energy that I originally had with this fic, and I need a short break to recharge that energy. I want to enjoy writing this as I wouldn’t be making this for another reason.
> 
> 2\. I will be busy and I want to focus on some of my other projects. I have some internship things coming up that are very important for me, and it will take time out of my day. I’m not the type of person who can just write fics (even random chat fics) on the go, and I need to have a session where I just type away with music in the background or something. Not to mention, I have my own original stories that I have been working on as well. (I will not be posting them on here though ;-; sorry) If I have the time, I’m thinking of writing a cute Luwoo one shot as well! (I WOULD post that one on here) I’m thinking of making it the story of how Lucas and Jungwoo met in this fic, with the Taemin misunderstandings described in this chapter and everything. I am a slow writer, so you might have to wait to read it, but let me know if you want to see that!
> 
> 3\. The black lives matter movement. I rarely ever want to get serious on this platform, but this one of those occasions where I have to say something. It’s not about politics. It’s about human rights. I know most of you have probably heard of it by now, but for those who may have not heard of it, I’ll briefly explain. Sickening racism has existed in America for years, especially within the police, and only now, thanks to recent recordings of police brutality, has it been exposed raw and caused people to demand change. Specifically, the death of George Floyd sparked this movement. So many African Americans have tragically lost their lives for being born with darker skin, and it needs to end.  
> Here is a link to a wonderful website that links to resources where you can donate, sign petitions, and more. Please do what you can to support the movement. https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
> 
> Also, I opened up a twitter! Follow me @__Kiri_sama (My profile picture is Jungwoo’s adorable photocard from the Punch repackage album) A lot of you seem like nice people, and I’d love to talk! Feel free to follow me and dm me!
> 
> Btw I will post something for Haechan’s birthday, but it will be very short. (Like a cute and wholesome text conversation or something. I’m still deciding.) If I’m not back by the time Taeil’s birthday rolls around, I’ll do the same for him. 
> 
> Don’t worry! I won’t be gone for long. When I fully resume, updates will most likely be weekly or something like that. Sorry if these end notes were long and kind of a mood killer, but they were needed. Thanks for reading! :D
> 
> New chat names!
> 
> Taeyong: The True Panicked Bi  
> Doyoung: *eyebrows raised*  
> Johnny: Johnster  
> Jaehyun: You know who  
> Taeil: Confused Uncle Taeil  
> Yuta: NicoNicoNi~  
> Jungwoo: Looks like Taemin and it scares me  
> Jaemin: Jaem  
> Jeno: Jeno Swan  
> Renjun: Renjun Cullen  
> Haechan: Haechan  
> Mark: Mork Lee  
> Jisung: An edgy goth at heart  
> Chenle: President Chenle  
> Kun: China Line Traitor  
> Ten: ThaiCon  
> Lucas: An actual living meme  
> Xiaojun: Junjun  
> Yangyang: Gay AND European  
> Hendery: Macau Prince  
> Winwin: Sicheng Win


	17. Haechan’s Birthday!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Haechan! It’s still June 5th where I am but it’s currently June 6th in Korea, so that’s why this is out now. Enjoy!

Donghyuck loved birthdays.

He enjoyed the attention people gave him. He loved the free food restaurants offered. Most of all, the bonding experiences were always a bit of fun. Something always happened on his birthday that he’d remember forever. That day, he even came with rainbow hair that his parents finally let him try out. It was just temporary hair chalk, but it was such a fun thing to do.

The day went as normal as it could have gone. However, it was the end of the school day when Donghyuck opened his locker to find a surprise.

A large card decorated in a collage of pastel shapes cut out greeted his eyes. Written in a bright purple marker were the curly and extra letters that made up “Happy Birthday!”

Tentatively, Donghyuck grabbed the card and opened it up to find it crowded in a sea of different handwritings, all in different colors.

_Happy birthday, Donghyuck! I haven’t known you for too long, but your playful attitude brightens up NCT so much. You’re incredibly talented, and I hope you continue to enjoy singing and dancing! I’m excited to see what you’re capable of this year!_  
_\- Taeyong_

_Happy birthday you little devilish ray of sunshine. NCT wouldn’t quite be the same without your energy._  
_-Sicheng_

_Hope you have a nice day! You’re honestly a lot of fun despite being one of the biggest disaster gays I’ve ever met, and I’m glad we’re friends!! :D_  
_-Jungwoo_

_Despite your antics, you’re a good kid. Happy birthday!_  
_-Yoonoh_

_Honestly you’re a little shit sometimes, but if anybody hurt you I’d yeet them all the way to the Atlantic Ocean._  
_-Tennie_

_I know I say you’re one of my many headaches, but know that I appreciate you. You’re way sweeter than at first glance, and you’ve helped break the ice within NCT. Happy birthday!_  
_-Kun_

_Feel any older yet? ;)_  
_-Grandpa/Confused Uncle Taeil_

_-You’re probably expecting some memes from me, but I’m just spitting straight facts. You’re super talented, and people don’t always talk about that. I’ve been super impressed with your dance skills. Your voice is unique but amazing too! Keep up the good work!!_  
_-Johnny_

_Take care of yourself, and enjoy your day! Just don’t stay up too late since we have school tomorrow. (I’m watching you Donghyuck.)_  
_-Dongyoung_

_Happy birthday you sunshine child. You’re so unabashedly yourself, and I admire that. Keep doing what you’re doing :)_  
_-Yuta_

_You’re so much fun! Let’s make more memories together!! Happy b-day my dude!_  
_-Yukhei_

_Happy birthday you dork._  
_-Kunhang_

_Happy birthday!! I signed this late but I’m glad I did because I have to say your rainbow hair rocks! You should use it for We Go Up if it fits!_  
_-Dejun_

_According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly, Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans thin-yeah I’m just going to stop there. If you want the full bee movie script it’s next to where you found this card. Think of it as a birthday present! ;) Happy birthday lmao._  
_-Yangyang_

_Happy birthday! I may only be a freshmen, but I feel like I’ve known you for a lot longer. Thanks for being my friend and I hope we can become closer in the future._  
_-Chenle_

_Literally all of the underclassmen but especially you feel like the bane of my existence sometimes but I wouldn’t have it other way. I’m glad I got to know you. Hearing about your antics are honestly the highlight of my day._  
_-Jisung_

_I don’t even know how we first met (maybe it was through mutual friends?) but I’m happy we did because every day feels like an adventure with your boundless energy. You really help bring together the underclassmen sometimes. Remember to look out for yourself, and let’s keep making wacky memories, whether is be as part of the Dreamies or just some bored kids in gym class._  
_-Jeno_

_Honestly what else can I say but happy birthday? High school has been chaotic as ever loving hell, but it’s been fun thanks to all the underclassmen but especially you. You have so many ideas and interesting things to say that just come to you. Lol this probably sounds sappy as hell, but I’ll let it slide this one time. Hope you had a nice day._  
_-Jaemin_

_I still feel like we’re freshmen randomly meeting for the first time when we both needed ice packs after dodgeball. Truthfully, you’ve been like a brother to me and somebody I trust with my life even though we bicker as much as we do. I’m wishing the best for you, including with asking a certain somebody whose name starts with an M out. (Don’t worry I delivered the card to your locker nobody saw me write that last part.) Have a happy birthday, and keep living your best life._  
_-Renjun_

_Donghyuck. I’m so lucky to have a best friend as wonderful as you. The nickname Haechan is fitting for you because you brighten up my day so much. Ever since I moved to Korea and met you, you were always there as somebody I could lean on and talk to whenever I was excited or talk to whenever I was anxious. You may be a meme lord at first glance, but deep down, I’ve learned you deeply care about others and how they feel. This day is about you, so happy birthday! I left you a little something next to the card in your locker._  
_-Mark_

Donghyuck looked up from the card to see two things behind where he picked up the card. First, there was a lump of papers stapled together that had to have been the bee movie script. He didn’t even want to know how long it must have taken Yangyang to print that out.

Next to the script was a little box with a velvety shell. Setting the card down, Donghyuck hesitantly opened it up to reveal a simple yet elegant charm bracelet. It wasn’t flashy or anything with sparkles all over the place. Instead, it was a shiny, silver chain with charms assorted in different shapes colored blue, orange, and green. Suddenly, Donghyuck realized this was the same bracelet that he was eyeing not too long ago when he and Mark hung out at the mall together.

He slipped it on his wrist, a near perfect fit, and dangled the charms in the air with a swish. As the delicate sound filled his ears, the only thing he could do was smile.

“I’ll have to thank them all later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is canon now that Yangyang gives everybody a copy of the bee movie script for their birthday.
> 
> Anyways I hope you guys liked this! I’ll try to do something different for Taeil’s birthday though. (I’m sorry to all the Jeno stans who got a normal chapter and wanted something like this. I just didn’t think of it at the time ;-;)
> 
> I’ll see you all for the Taeil chapter probably!


	18. It’s Taeil Time!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confused Uncle Taeil: I think my shoulders are finally giving out
> 
> Junjun: You said it wasn’t like this before now?
> 
> Confused Uncle Taeil: Yeah
> 
> Junjun: Don’t worry I think your shoulders are fine
> 
> Haechan: Yeah Taeil does his butterfly whenever he works out his shoulders can’t be dead yet
> 
> An edgy goth at heart: I-
> 
> An edgy goth at heart: His what?
> 
> Haechan: I’ll have to show you all when Taeil hurries up and gets here
> 
> Confused Uncle Taeil: Let me have one day in my life without you pointing that out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Yes, I know I am very late with this chapter, apologies. Taeil deserves better than my tardiness. Anyways, this chapter is kinda short but enjoy the weird shenanigans.
> 
> Btw WayV’s comeback was amazing!! The entire album was pure gold, and I was really impressed. I think I liked it more than the Neo Zone album, and I really enjoyed that album too!
> 
> Btw I forgot to mention it, but I’m back now. Weeklyish updates coming to a local ao3 near you!! I’m super excited now to continue this fic, and I can’t wait to publish more!
> 
> Also 500+ kudos??? Thanks everybody!

#### NCT in the House

11:46 a.m.  
_Confused Uncle Taeil, You know who, and 19 others are online._

Confused Uncle Taeil: Why tf is my backpack so heavy

Confused Uncle Taeil: Like I almost fell down the stairs three times it’s why I’m running late to the cafeteria

Sicheng Win: Oh that’s where you were

Confused Uncle Taeil: I think my shoulders are finally giving out

Junjun: You said it wasn’t like this before now?

Confused Uncle Taeil: Yeah

Junjun: Don’t worry I think your shoulders are fine

Haechan: Yeah Taeil does his butterfly whenever he works out his shoulders can’t be dead yet

An edgy goth at heart: I-

An edgy goth at heart: His what?

Haechan: I’ll have to show you all when Taeil hurries up and gets here

Confused Uncle Taeil: Let me have one day in my life without you pointing that out

Confused Uncle Taeil: Also it’s my birthday :( Show your elders some respect

Haechan: Fiiiiine

Jaem: No I actually want to see this

Jaem: I’m intrigued

*eyebrows raised*: No

*eyebrows raised*: Seriously though Taeil you almost here?

Confused Uncle Taeil: Yeah give me a seconssdfw

_Confused Uncle Taeil is offline._

*eyebrows raised*: What what in the

An actual living meme: WHAT’S GOING ON???

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: what happened to the lights???

You know who: Looks like it was a power outage

NicoNicoNi~: Oh thank god we have our phones so we can still navigate the cafeteria using flashlight mode

President Chenle: The cafeteria is so weird when it’s pitch black with a ton of flashlights

President Chenle: Almost like a horror movie

Macau Prince: You see this is why the school needs to invest in windows so we can see the light of day

Renjun Cullen: Oh my god if I get shined in the eyes with one more flashlight I swear I’m going to chuck my phone at somebody

Sicheng Win: How about we have no casualties tonight let’s just stay put until the power goes back on

Mork Lee: Where’s Taeil though?

The True Panicked Bi:

Johnster: Oh fuck where IS Taeil?

The True Panicked Bi: It’s fine he probably is trying to find his way here right now

*eyebrows raised*: He said he was on the stairs, right? I’m going there

ThaiCon: @Confused Uncle Taeil you’re not dead are you?

ThaiCon: 

ThaiCon: He would usually respond to his @‘s damn

*eyebrows raised*: What the hell....

*eyebrows raised*: Why are there so many papers everywhere??

*eyebrows raised*: They spilled out of his backpack or something

*eyebrows raised*: wait

*eyebrows raised*: YANGYANG

Gay AND European: Well why don’t you look at the time I have a doctor’s appointment

You know who: Yeah good luck sneaking out without a flashlight

Gay AND European:

*eyebrows raised*: WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU SNEAK THE BEE MOVIE SCRIPT IN TAEIL’S BACKPACK

*eyebrows raised: ITS EVERYWHERE

Gay AND European: Uh

Gay AND European: In between classes when nobody was looking

Gay AND European: It was heavy af I didn’t feel like putting it in his locker and he was right there

China Line Traitor: God damnit Yangyang

China Line Traitor: How many pieces of paper did you print

Gay AND European: Like 100+

Macau Prince: Smh the earth is disappointed in you

*eyebrows raised*: okay in all seriousness though

*eyebrows raised*: WHERE IS TAEIL

The True Panicked Bi: Wait you mean he isn’t there????

*eyebrows raised*: NO

*eyebrows raised*: Most of his stuff is here, and I found his phone in a corner

*eyebrows raised* But Taeil’s missing

The True Panicked Bi: 

The True Panicked Bi: Yoonoh give me a hug before I go searching for Taeil I think I’m going to have a stroke

You know who: Of course :)

You know who: I don’t think we need to worry though

You know who: Taeil is responsible unlike some people here. I’m sure he’s fine

You know who: If it makes you feel better I can join you

ThaiCon: Hey scratch that I don’t think we’ll be leaving the cafeteria soon

ThaiCon: The teachers just started preventing anybody from leaving while they checked to see what was going on

You know who: ah shoot

The True Panicked Bi:

Haechan: Taeyong are you alright

The True Panicked Bi: Dongyoung please find Taeil

*eyebrows raised*: Will do

*eyebrows raised*: Somebody’s yelling from far away is that Taeil

*eyebrows raised*: HELL NO AND APPARENTLY IM IN TROUBLE NOW

*eyebrows raised*: SHOOT THEY SAW ME WANT TO TAKE ME BACK TO THE CAFETERIA

*eyebrows raised*: THEY HAVEN’T IDENTIFIED ME YET THOUGH SO IM TURNING OFF MY FLASHLIGHT AND HIDING BYE

_*eyebrows raised* is offline._

The True Panicked Bi:

Johnster:

China Line Mother: Dongyoung I expected better from you

President Chenle: Wow

Jaem:

Jaem: So what now

Macau Prince: The most we can do is wait I guess

11:56 a.m.

Renjun Cullen: Guess we’re not waiting now holy shit what’s going on they’re evacuating us from the building

Renjun Cullen: There’s so many people I don’t know where all of you are 

An edgy goth at heart: Let me figure it out I’m near one of the adults

Renjun Cullen: Aight

An edgy goth at heart: 

An edgy goth at heart: @Confused Uncle Taeil @*eyebrows raised* GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE BUILDING APPARENTLY THE DISTRIBUTION BOARD CAUGHT ON FIRE AND IT WAS BAD

_*eyebrows raised* is online._

*eyebrows raised*: I JUST GOT OUT I WAS ABOUT TO SAY I EXITED THE BUILDING ONCE I HEARD PEOPLE WERE EVACUATING YOU SAID WHAT

The True Panicked Bi: IS HE STILL IN THERE??

You know who: Tae, don’t even think about running in 

You know who: That’s a bad idea and you know it

The True Panicked Bi: Fine I’m at least telling somebody that our friend is trapped in the building god knows where

You know who: I’ll go with you

You know who: Remember to breathe 

You know who: I know you’re scared but I promise this will all be fine

The True Panicked Bi: Thanks

An actual living meme: You know what I’m running in

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: YUKHEI NO

An actual living meme: Sorry Jungwoo but I can’t just leave him in there

An actual living meme: It’s his birthday for crying out loud!

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: No I was going to say that if you’re going in I’m coming with you

An actual living meme: OH COOL LETS GO

NicoNicoNi~: You guys are all idiots

NicoNicoNi~: I’m following

Sicheng Win: God damnit Yuta

Macau Prince: WE’RE STORMING IN THE SCHOOL EVERYBODY NCT IN THE HOUSE

Gay AND European: ALL FOR TAEIL

Jaem: LETS GO

The True Panicked Bi:

*eyebrows raised*:

China Line Traitor: Fuck it I’m coming with and making sure you don’t do anything even more stupid

The True Panicked Bi: This is my life

*eyebrows raised*: If any of us catch fire I am blaming all of you

An actual living meme: ALRIGHT EVERYBODY AT ONCE LET’S GO

_An actual living meme, The True Panicked Bi, and 18 others are offline._

12:12 p.m.

_Confused Uncle Taeil, Haechan, and 19 others are online._

Haechan: SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT

Haechan: YOU WERE IN THE TEACHER’S LOUNGE EATING A DONUT COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF WHAT WAS GOING ON??

Confused Uncle Taeil: Yeah I couldn’t find my phone when I dropped it and tried finding adults. I ended up stumbling into the teacher’s lounge on complete accident but managed to feel around and try the donuts

Confused Uncle Taeil: I didn’t even know where anybody was, much less that you were evacuating

Confused Uncle Taeil: Btw Chenle you’re right they are to die for this has been worth everything

President Chenle: YES now you understand why I steal them?

ThaiCon: MOTHERFUCKER WE ALL HAVE DETENTION BECAUSE YOU ATE A DONUT

ThaiCon: WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD OR SOMETHING

Confused Uncle Taeil: If it makes you feel better I also have detention

Confused Uncle Taeil: And if nobody went to look for me I probably would have never left it since I didn’t have a flashlight so thank you guys for that

Confused Uncle Taeil: I know it sounds kind of dry but I seriously appreciate that from you guys

ThaiCon: THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT

Johnster: Ten it was just an accident

ThaiCon: I just don’t want to go to detention today :(

Johnster: It’s okay we’re all in this together

Johnster: We’ll make it fun

ThaiCon: We’ll see about that

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: Yeri just texted me how we made the news

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: As I quote from her

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: “I don’t know how but you 20 dumbasses storming the dark and empty school screaming for Taeil made it into local news. Are you proud of yourselves?”

Haechan: Yes

Mork Lee: I’m pretty sure the rest of the school is scared of us now

The True Panicked Bi: Welp

The True Panicked Bi: Happy birthday Taeil

The True Panicked Bi: We were going to give you a card at lunch but I’ll give it to you later once we get the chance

Confused Uncle Taeil: Aw thanks guys :)

Confused Uncle Taeil: You all are the sweetest sometimes I swear

China Line Traitor: Hey since lunch was screwed up let’s get a place to eat out tonight if you guys have the time

President Chenle: I’m down

NicoNicoNi~: Heck yeah

Confused Uncle Taeil: Sounds like fun

The True Panicked Bi: Then it’s a plan!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question of the day? What were your favorite songs from the Awaken the World? Mine were Turn Back Time, Unbreakable, Up From Here, and Electric Hearts!
> 
> Chat names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: The True Panicked Bi  
> Doyoung: *eyebrows raised*  
> Johnny: Johnster  
> Jaehyun: You know who  
> Taeil: Confused Uncle Taeil  
> Yuta: NicoNicoNi~  
> Jungwoo: Looks like Taemin and it scares me  
> Jaemin: Jaem  
> Jeno: Jeno Swan  
> Renjun: Renjun Cullen  
> Haechan: Haechan  
> Mark: Mork Lee  
> Jisung: An edgy goth at heart  
> Chenle: President Chenle  
> Kun: China Line Traitor  
> Ten: ThaiCon  
> Lucas: An actual living meme  
> Xiaojun: Junjun  
> Yangyang: Gay AND European  
> Hendery: Macau Prince  
> Winwin: Sicheng Win
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay  
> Taeyong: Just a Disaster  
> Renjun: Gay and Ready to Fight
> 
> Disaster Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi  
> Taeyong: Pinkie Bi


	19. cnehle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renjun Cullen: NO NON CHULT
> 
> Gay AND European: HIS NAME IS CNEHLE
> 
> Junjun: God non chults smh
> 
> _An edgy goth at heart, *eyebrows raised*, and 2 others are online._
> 
> *eyebrows raised*: What the everloving fuck is going on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'll update weeklyish," I said.  
> *two weeks later*  
> ...whoops.
> 
> Yeah sorry about that everybody. To make up for the lack of a chapter last week, you'll get two this week. The second will be Taeyong's birthday chapter. (Forgive me if it ends up coming out late since it's also a family member's birthday that day and I might need to focus on that instead of writing the chapter. I will try to release it on time though.)
> 
> I dedicate this chapter to the cnehle chult shenanigans that happened on Twitter. I will never forget the day when my feed was just the word "cnehle." Feel free to follow me @__Kiri_Sama if you ever want to shoot me a dm or talk! 
> 
> Last note, let me say formatting ao3 on my phone is literally the worst I don't understand how some of y'all write entirely on your phone. If I made a mistake, I am so sorry and I will correct it when I can use literally anything else to edit my chapters.
> 
> China line usernames:  
> Single Mom: Kun  
> Greater than nine: Ten  
> Taller than a refrigerator: Lucas  
> Wenzhou Man: Winwin  
> MUSICALITY: Xiaojun  
> Xiao Yang: Yangyang  
> Prince Eric: Hendery  
> China Maknae: Chenle  
> Tea Spiller: Renjun

#### China Line Domination

10:10 a.m.

China Maknae: **I DON'T BELIEVE THIS**

Greater than nine: **Lol what happened**

Tea Spiller: **Is everything okay?**

China Maknae: **I hate my life**

China Maknae: **We were supposed to have these nametags in my English class today since we're doing group skits or some weird shit but nobody noticed there was such a bad typo in my name until I saw it**

China Maknae: **Like did they really not see how my name was basically unintelligible while everybody else was fine???**

Single Mom: **They always mess up Chinese names I understand**

Single Mom: **They said my name was Chien Kun on accident**

Single Mom: **You think our school would be doing better at this point but nope**

MUSICALITY: **Ugh tell me about it they couldn't pronounce my name correctly for the longest time**

Xiao Yang: **They thought my name was a joke at first and I had to tell them like, "YES my name is Yangyang I understand it's an unusual name now shut the fuck up"**

Wenzhou Man: **Chenle what did they say your name was anyway**

China Maknae:

China Maknae: **cnehle**

Taller than a refrigerator: **WAIT WHAT**

Taller then a refrigerator: **I'm sorry that's the funniest shit I've heard in a while**

Taller than a refrigerator: **Like C N E H L E???**

MUSICALITY: **That's not even any language**

Greater than nine: **It's a secret code only understood by the wise**

Prince Eric: **Omg guys join me**

Prince Eric: **Only intellectuals are allowed**

Prince Eric: **We worship our true and only god who has been hidden in plain sight with the name Chenle**

Prince Eric: **SM has tried to hide your existence for too long but through their "typo" they showed us your true name**

Prince Eric: **It's a name so powerful that mountains can be split, skies can be shifted, and gods quiver in fear of**

Prince Eric: **It's cnehle.**

China Maknae: **I-**

China Maknae: **What?**

MUSICALITY: **Of course**

MUSICALITY: **I understand now**

MUSICALITY: **cnehle**

MUSICALITY: **It makes so much sense**

Tea Spiller: **Everybody let's join together to worship our god**

Wenzhou Man: **This sounds like a cult**

Xiao Yang: **It's not because it's the chult instead**

Xiao Yang: **All hail cnehle**

Tea Spiller: **cnehle**

Greater than nine: **cnehle**

MUSICALITY: **cnehle**

Prince Eric: **cnehle**

Taller than a refrigerator: **CNEHLE**

Single Mom: **cnehle...?**

Wenzhou Man: **cnehle.**

China Maknae:

China Maknae: **Lol fuck it**

China Maknae: **Yes I am your god now bow before me mortals**

Taller than a refrigerator: **What is your first request your greatness?**

China Maknae: **Spread the word about my amazing prowess uwu**

Wenzhou Man: **We shall do so**

#### NCT in the House

10:15 a.m.

_China Line Traitor, The True Panicked Bi, and 15 others are online._

_China Line Traitor has changed President Chenle's username to cnehle._

cnehle: Bow before me peasants

China Line Traitor: cnehle

Sicheng Win: cnehle

Renjun Cullen: cnehle

An actual living meme: cnehle

ThaiCon: cnehle

Junjun: cnehle

Macau Prince: cnehle

Gay AND European: cnehle

The True Panicked Bi:

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: Wait what

NicoNicoNi~: Sicheng I am concerned

Jeno Swan: Why are Kun and Sicheng doing this I thought they were responsible

Confused Uncle Taeil: This feels like a cult wtf

ThaiCon: It's not a cult

ThaiCon: It's chult

ThaiCon: Get it right nonbeliever

You know who: So let me get this straight

You know who: This is a Chenle cult?

Renjun Cullen: NO NON CHULT

Gay AND European: HIS NAME IS CNEHLE

Junjun: God non chults smh

_An edgy goth at heart, *eyebrows raised*, and 2 others are online._

*eyebrows raised*: What the everloving fuck is going on

Mork Lee: Huh

Haechan: The fuck is a cnehle?

An edgy goth at heart:

An edgy goth at heart: Wait Chenle is this about the typo Miss Jung made???

cnehle: What are you talking about it wasn’t a typo

cnehle: It was my real name

cnehle: I am the new god of this world so from now on you speak my true name

An edgy goth at heart:

An edgy goth at heart: cnehle

Macau Prince: WE HAVE A NEW CHULT ON OUR HANDS

Gay AND European: WELCOME

An edgy goth at heart: Thanks

Haechan: Hmmmmm what do we have here do I sense something else going on

cnehle: What

#### Park Jisung -> Lee Donghyuck

10:16 a.m.

Park Jisung: Don’t even think about insinuating my crush on Chenle

Park Jisung: Or else I WILL tell Mark about yours

Park Jisung: Is that clear?

Lee Donghyuck:

Lee Donghyuck: Crystal

Park Jisung: When are YOU going to tell him yourself anyway like oh my god this can’t keep going on

Lee Donghyuck: When are you going to tell Chenle about your crush??

Park Jisung: He probably doesn’t even like me leave me alone

Lee Donghyuck: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT

Park Jisung: YES

Lee Donghyuck: Oh god you’re hopeless

Park Jisung: Excuse me????

#### China Line Domination

10:16 a.m.

Wenzhou Man: :)

Single Mom: :)

MUSICALITY: :)

Tea Spiller: :)

Xiao Yang: :)

Prince Eric: :)

Greater than nine: ;))

China Maknae: STOPPP

#### NCT in the House

2:30 p.m.

Mork Lee: Do any of you know where Yuta disappears to during his frees

Sicheng Win: Why do you want to know

Mork Lee: Idk

Mork Lee: I swear though we have frees at the same time and I’ve never seen him anywhere

Mork Lee: Like the guy vanishes I just walked around most of the school where people usually are during frees but he ain’t there

NicoNicoNi~: Why in the world would I tell you

Mork Lee: That’s fair

NicoNicoNi~: Eh, I’ll say it anyways I’m on the roof

Confused Uncle Taeil: Wait what

*eyebrows raised*: Why the fuck

The True Panicked Bi: Yuta???

NicoNicoNi~: It’s a nice view and I don’t have to deal with people

NicoNicoNi~: Winter sucks though I always have to bring my coat

China Line Traitor: I can’t even say I’m surprised anymore

China Line Traitor: Ever since the incident our freshmen year, I don’t know what to expect from you

Renjun Cullen: Wait what happened your freshmen year

The True Panicked Bi: Um

Confused Uncle Taeil: Well you see

Johnster: LMAO I ALMOST FORGOT

NicoNicoNi~: I'll explain lol

NicoNicoNi~: This history teacher we had our first year was fucking AWFUL and did a lot of shitty stuff

NicoNicoNi~: He was openly racist, xenophobic, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, the list goes on. He constantly made offensive jokes in class too. Except he was two faced as fuck around students vs. teachers because the staff never saw that side of him. They actually thought he was an angel or something. He was a massive dick to anybody that called him out and graded their papers so much more harshly than other people so people were afraid of reporting him

NicoNicoNi~: It sounds ridiculous on paper but it's the truth

China Line Traitor: Especially for freshmen that guy was scary af I didn't want to go near him

NicoNicoNi~: While I already openly gay and didn't really care as much about what he said, a lot of kids were scared to come out of the closet because of him

NicoNicoNi~: But the day he had the bold AUDACITY to call me a slur in front of the entire class, I had enough

*eyebrows raised*: Wait what did you do

Johnster: Yuta printed out his own 95 theses on everything that was wrong with the teacher’s class, including every horrible quote he could remember hearing from him. The guy literally NAILED it on his door and ran

Jaem: He WHAT

Haechan: WHAT A KING

_China Line Traitor has changed NicoNicoNi~'s username to Osaka King._

Mork Lee: WOW

ThaiCon: WE STAN

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: Oh wait I did hear about that it was you???

Jeno Swan: Did you get in trouble??

Osaka King: Of course

Osaka King: 100% worth it though

Osaka King: I got that teacher fired

Sicheng Win: I don’t even want to imagine what having that teacher would be like

Osaka King: Good thing I got rid of him then :D

Sicheng Win: Thanks babe you're an icon

Osaka King: What else would I be?

Sicheng Win: A wonderful guy with a heart of gold

Osaka King: OMG SICHENG SO ARE YOU THOUGH

Sicheng Win: Uno reverse card

Junjun: Did he just

An actual living meme: HE DID

Jaem: You two are too adorable but in a very Yuta and Sicheng way

Sicheng Win: We know :)

#### Kim Dongyoung -> Mark Lee

4:10 p.m.

Kim Dongyoung: How are you doing with Donghyuck

Mark Lee: I-

Mark Lee: Don't attack me like this

Kim Dongyoung: I'm just curious

Mark Lee: I need help

Mark Lee: I keep getting scared I hate nerves help me

Mark Lee: Plus Hyuck always seems nervous when I get like that and idk what to do

Kim Dongyoung: Mark I love you but you're hopeless

Mark Lee: Dongyoung

Mark Lee: Like it's Donghyuck!! My best friend

Kim Dongyoung: *sigh*

Kim Dongyoung: Wait I actually have an idea

Mark Lee: Yes?

Kim Dongyoung: Write a note confessing your feelings to him and slide it in his locker

Kim Dongyoung: That way, you can't gay panic when confessing and it gives Donghyuck some time to think about it

Kim Dongyoung: If you want, I can sneak the letter in so you can't hesitate about what you're doing

Mark Lee: Oh my god why didn't I think of that before

Mark Lee: I'll write up my letter tonight

Mark Lee: Dongyoung you're my lifesaver

Kim Dongyoung: Let's just hope this goes well

#### Lee Donghyuck -> Kim Jungwoo

5:14 p.m.

Lee Donghyuck: I need help

Kim Jungwoo: Look Donghyuck I tried everything with you

Kim Jungwoo: But you're just too much of a disaster gay

Kim Jungwoo: You must really like Mark and it's honestly adorable but the universe just decided it was impossible for you to confess to him in person

Kim Jungwoo: I don't know what to tell you

Lee Donghyuck: Wow thanks

Kim Jungwoo: It's okay I have a solution

Kim Jungwoo: Get a nice piece of paper and write a letter saying what you want to say to him

Kim Jungwoo: You can give it to me, and I'll slip it in his locker

Kim Jungwoo: Boom. Confession accomplished

Lee Donghyuck: That's actually not that bad

Lee Donghyuck: I feel less disappointed with myself now

Kim Jungwoo: Don't ever feel disappointed with yourself :(

Lee Donghyuck: Easier said than done but I can get you the note tomorrow?

Kim Jungwoo: On Taeyong's birthday?

Lee Donghyuck: Yeah

Kim Jungwoo: Alrighty!!

#### NCT in the House

6:37 p.m.

China Line Traitor: If anybody sees Taeyong even trying to go near WayV's practices instead of resting like the good leader he is, pull him out

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: Wait what happened?

ThaiCon: We literally don't need help lmao

ThaiCon: Me and Winwin got choreographing down, we already split up out parts, Hendery, Yangyang, and Xiaojun are writing the Chinese lyrics since we all want to sing in Chinese instead of Korean, and Kun is changing up the instrumental a bit to suit the style we're going for

You know who: Good to know Taeyong I think you can let them be then

The True Panicked Bi:

The True Panicked Bi: Fine

The True Panicked Bi: I trust Kun with you guys anyways

The True Panicked Bi: Keep me updated

China Line Traitor: Will do!

Gay AND European: Bruh I'm so excited for Moonwalk this is going to be fun!!

Macau Prince: Heck yeah!

cnehle: Honestly NCT is going to be so cool this year I can't wait for the school to see our final performances

Jaem: That's because we have talent talent talent for days

An actual living meme: Big facts though!!!

Osaka King: We'll forever be iconic

Osaka King: Even before we made if into the news

Looks like Taemin and it scares me: Yeah :D

#### Qian Kun -> Jung Yoonoh

6:41 p.m.

Qian Kun: Hey just between you and me I don't think Taeyong's feeling well

Jung Yoonoh: Wait how so

Jung Yoonoh: I've barely seen him today is everything alright?

Qian Kun: He seemed really out of it the entire time he was at practice with WayV

Qian Kun: Late into practice he started coughing as well

Jung Yoonoh: Oh that's not good

Jung Yoonoh: I noticed he was tired, and he mentioned having a headache this morning, but I didn't think it was that bad

Qian Kun: Yeah no it wasn't good

Qian Kun: I should mention he's in a horrible mood today like I tried talking to him and he got all defensive for some reason

Jung Yoonoh: I'll message him and make sure he's doing okay then

Qian Kun: Thank you

#### Jung Yoonoh -> Lee Taeyong

6:43 p.m.

Jung Yoonoh: You feeling alright?

Lee Taeyong: Not the greatest, but I'm alright

Jung Yoonoh: Are you sure?

Jung Yoonoh: Kun told me you didn't seem like it during practice

Lee Taeyong: I'm just having an off day

Jung Yoonoh: Taeyong please be honest is everything alright?

Lee Taeyong: Yes it's fine

Lee Taeyong: I told you I'm having an off day

Jung Yoonoh: I know you don't want anybody to worry about you, but you also need to tell people what's up and take care of yourself

Jung Yoonoh: I care for you and I just want what's best for you

Lee Taeyong:

Lee Taeyong: I'm sorry that was kind of a dick move of me to push you away like that

Lee Taeyong: I had a bad day

Lee Taeyong: I think I might be sick. I didn't sleep well last night and I've just been feeling pretty bad

Lee Taeyong: I had a calc test today and I couldn't focus at all so that didn't go well

Lee Taeyong: And during the practice with WayV, I started feeling even worse and started coughing more than this morning and then everybody was concerned about me and I didn't want everybody to be concerned about me

Lee Taeyong: And honestly I want to go to bed and forget about today

Jung Yoonoh: Aw Tae go to sleep then :(

Jung Yoonoh: It sounds like you have a cold or something

Jung Yoonoh: If it's that bad, take tomorrow off

Lee Taeyong: But it's my birthday tomorrow :(

Lee Taeyong: I know y'all had something planned and I didn't want to miss it

Jung Yoonoh: It's YOUR birthday. Give yourself a break. You deserve it

Jung Yoonoh: Plus Mark can deliver your gift to you after school

Lee Taeyong: That's true

Lee Taeyong: How about if I wake up tomorrow and still feel sick, I'll stay home

Jung Yoonoh: Sounds perfectly fine!

Lee Taeyong: Alright I need to finish some homework, but I'll go to bed afterwards

Lee Taeyong: Night Yoons :)

Jung Yoonoh: Night Tae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kind of a set up chapter for future events, but I hope you like it. Stay tuned for Taeyong's birthday chapter, and stay safe!! :D
> 
> Chats names!
> 
> NCT in the House
> 
> Taeyong: The True Panicked Bi  
> Doyoung: *eyebrows raised*  
> Johnny: Johnster  
> Jaehyun: You know who  
> Taeil: Confused Uncle Taeil  
> Yuta: Osaka King  
> Jungwoo: Looks like Taemin and it scares me  
> Jaemin: Jaem  
> Jeno: Jeno Swan  
> Renjun: Renjun Cullen  
> Haechan: Haechan  
> Mark: Mork Lee  
> Jisung: An edgy goth at heart  
> Chenle: cnehle  
> Kun: China Line Traitor  
> Ten: ThaiCon  
> Lucas: An actual living meme  
> Xiaojun: Junjun  
> Yangyang: Gay AND European  
> Hendery: Macau Prince  
> Winwin: Sicheng Win
> 
> The Hurrigays
> 
> Ten: Dancing Gay  
> Doyoung: Rabbit Gay  
> Yuta: Smiley Gay  
> Jungwoo: UwU Gay  
> Winwin: Graceful Gay  
> Kun: Lowkey Gay  
> Haechan: Sunshine Gay  
> Taeyong: Just a Disaster  
> Renjun: Gay and Ready to Fight
> 
> Disaster Bi’s
> 
> Jaehyun: Chill Bi  
> Lucas: Screaming Bi  
> Johnny: Tall Bi  
> Taeil: Actually Pan  
> Mark: Disaster Bi  
> Taeyong: Pinkie Bi


End file.
